


Chasing Cars

by superpotterdiaries27



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:59:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 44,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superpotterdiaries27/pseuds/superpotterdiaries27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of Dean and Castiel, who knew each other their whole lives, from the first steps to the awkward pubescent stages and until death did them apart. This is the story of how both Dean and Castiel grew through friendship, love, and loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story.  
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

_December 1997_

They met on a cold winter night in a house that was a bit old and a bit rusty, though the conditions didn't stop the owners from having a party. The holiday spirit was evident from the bright decorations to the genuine smiles to the tacky clothing attire adorned by many of the guests. 

However, they could not sense the holiday spirit. They didn't know that they were meeting such significant people. They didn't know who they were themselves; just fetuses waiting to get out and finally see the world through their own eyes.

But their parents knew. Knew that their sons would be kind, smart and funny. They would be proud of them  _everyday_  of their lives, no matter what happened.

"Hello, it was nice of you to invite us," Naomi Milton said as she smiled and reached out her hand expectantly.

Mary Winchester shook her hand and said, "Sure, we're always looking to make new friends. Where's little Annie?"

"She wasn't feeling well so we had a babysitter come over."

"I heard that some nasty bug's going around. I hope she gets better," Mary smiled genuinely. Then she suddenly said, "How far along are you?"

On instinct, Naomi patted her plump stomach and said, "Almost nine months."

"So you're due soon."

"Yes," Naomi said giving a small smile.

"Me too," said Mary.

"Yes, our tough little Dean can't wait to get out." A tall man with the most dazzling brown eyes appeared and wrapped his arms around Mary's waist.

Mary laughed and took her husband's hands into hers.

"Your baby's name is going to be Dean?" Naomi asked curiously.

"Yes, after Mary's mother, Deanna. She had a heart attack... it was a tragic accident." John's eyes turned soft.

"Oh." Naomi let her eyes wander around the room when she spotted  _him._ He seemed to be having the time of  _his_ life, telling jokes and being at the center of attention.

Inias Milton seemed to notice his wife's gaze because within seconds, he appeared mere inches away from her.

He had a calculating expression on, planning on how to conquer and win over his next victims. They of course weren't aware of it.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs...?" He said and placed a kiss upon Mary's hand. Naomi rolled her eyes; it was astounding to her how her husband still didn't know the names of their neighbors. It was all  _work, work, work_  for him.

"Winchester," Mary supplied.

"You have a beautiful home."

"Thank you, Mr. Milton," Mary said.

"Call me Inias." He smiled at her.

"Sure." Mary gave a small hesitant smile.

John cleared his throat.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Winchester," Inias said and held out his hand.

John shook his hand all the while keeping eye contact. He could feel that there was something off with Inias; he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"So what's your baby's name going to be?" Mary asked.

"We're not sure yet," Naomi answered while simultaneously Inias said, "Castiel."

"Yes, I suppose Castiel will fit just  _fine_." Naomi quickly agreed but her smile faltered.

"Gotta keep up the family tradition," Inias said and put his arm around Naomi's neck. If anybody noticed that his grip was a bit too tight, they didn't mention it.

* * *

Castiel was born several days after Dean. His big blue eyes were always brighter than the sky. They gave Naomi the warmest feeling in her heart.

The Winchesters and the Miltons were neighbors so whenever Naomi had some free time, she came over with Castiel.

Dean was a very loud baby, always wailing and complaining. But whenever Castiel came over and was placed next to Dean in the crib, he grabbed Castiel's thumb with his own and seemed to calm down.

He never woke up crying when Cas was sleeping next to him.

Years later, his little brother would tease him about how he could never shut his mouth even from the start. But he would just roll his eyes and lightly punch Sam in the arm.

The only thing he clearly remembered from those early moments was the safety and contentment he had never felt anywhere else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story.
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter two

_Spring 1999_

As time went on, Naomi kept bringing Castiel over. She would leave him with Dean and Mary for quite some time while going off to do some errands. 

Both boys were always happy to see each other. They loved to play with each other; it didn't matter what game it was as long as they were together. When the time came for Castiel to leave, neither wanted to part. Their protests would sometimes lead both mothers to exasperation.

Before they knew it, winter had faded and spring had taken over. Its bright colors brought warmth and joy to many people, including the Winchesters.

One day when Mary Winchester was out on a walk with her baby, she had an epiphany as she kept catching Dean smile whenever he stared up at the clear sky.

"Spring's your favorite, then?" Mary leaned closer to Dean and kissed his forehead.

Dean gave a giggle. Mary's heart almost exploded right there. Even though she had heard that sound many times before and was  _supposed_  to be used to it, she knew that that those sounds would never cease to amaze her. The joyful sounds her baby made would never stop making her happy.

Later when Mary was chopping vegetables, she realized that the bright blue sky was a reminder of Castiel's blue eyes and was therefore the most probable reason for Dean's happiness. She smiled to herself as she thought it over and then got back to finishing the dinner.

* * *

_Fall 2002_

When the time came for Dean to start pre-school, Mary had to deal with a big fuss.

"If Cas isn't going, I'm not going, too!" Dean pouted.

"Honey, it's up to the Miltons to decide when Cas goes to pre-school. I can't make him go if they don't think he should." Mary tried to explain.

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!" Dean yelled and walked around in circles. Mary sighed and decided to call Naomi.

It turned out that Castiel was going to start his first day as well and was putting up the same fight. After conversing for a while, both mothers came up with a plan. Naomi asked Castiel to get on the phone and Mary then handed the phone over to Dean. Once he talked to Castiel, Dean relaxed and let Mary put his coat on.

Later that day, when the Winchesters were eating dinner, Mary noticed that Dean was frowning. Actually, he seemed gloomy ever since he got back from school. At first, she put it off as tiredness but on the other hand, how tired could pre-schoolers really be? 

"What's wrong, Dean?" She asked while passing John the butter.

"Nothing." Dean shook his head and took a bite out of his chicken.

"How was your first day of school, champ?" John asked while chewing.

"John, that's gross. Can you please not talk while eating?" Mary asked but gave a small smile indicating that she wasn't as disgusted as she was concerned.

"Yeah, daddy, you could choke!" Apparently, Dean had woken up from his daydream.

"'orry, guys." John swallowed and then took a sip of his drink. He glanced over to his son and noticed that Dean still had a frown on his face. He exchanged a concerned look with his wife.

"How was your first day of school, sweetie?" Mary repeated her husband's question.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Did you have fun with Cas in school?" Mary asked hopefully.

Dean looked up from his plate but when he did, Mary noticed that tears had welled up in his eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Mary asked gently.

"He wasn't-” Dean's lip trembled. "-in my class."

"You guys were put in different classes? But you can still see each other during recess, can't you?" John asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

At that, Dean started to cry and Mary came up and hugged him. When he calmed down, he finally told them the whole story. It turned out that some boys had called Dean and Cas, "gay babies" because they were very upset when they were forced to part from each other.

And when Dean finished his story, he widened his eyes and asked his parents what gay meant.

Mary said, "It's when a woman falls in love with a woman or when a man falls in love with a man."

"So I'm gay," Dean said with a small smile.

Mary and John exchanged glances.

"Why do you say that?" Mary asked curiously.

"Well because I love Cas very much and I'll marry him one day," Dean said proudly.

Mary laughed.

"I will, mommy!" Dean had a determined look.

"Okay, honey. Just remember, we'll love you no matter who you decide to marry," She said and gave John a pointed look.

"Yes, we will." John nodded in confirmation.

* * *

_Winter 2003_

Dean was four years old when he found out that he was going to be a big brother. After a few curious questions, his parents decided to sit down and explain to him why his mommy's belly was getting big. When they finished talking, they smiled at Dean expectantly.

Dean nodded and said he understood but didn't let on that he was quite upset. He didn't want a little brother; what if his parents didn't love him anymore? He thought that his brother would take his parents away from him. So when nighttime came, Dean decided to do the first thing that came to mind. He packed a bag, snuck out of his house, and headed over to Cas's house.

It wasn't very late so he hoped that the Miltons weren't sleeping. He sighed in relief when he saw the lights were still on and rang the doorbell. Anna, Cas's older sister, opened the door.

"Hey dork. What do you want?" She had an annoyed expression on her face. She never had been nice to him. Dean wondered if all girls were like that or if that was yet another phase Anna was going through.

"Move out of the way, meanie." He tried to move past her but she didn't let him. Dean had to admit that for an eight year-old girl, she was quite strong.

"What do you want?" She asked curiously while twirling a strand of her hair.

"Where's Cas?" He said impatiently.

"Taking a bath." She said. Noticing the sour look Dean was sporting, she softened her eyes and added, "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to see Cas."

It looked like Anna suddenly had a change of heart because then she said, "Okay, fine, you can come in."

After ten minutes of waiting, Castiel appeared in his pajamas and bathrobe. When he noticed Dean sitting on the couch in his living room, his eyes shone brightly.

He sat down next to Dean on the couch and said, "Why are you here, Dean?"

Dean didn't say anything. Instead he grabbed Castiel and pulled him into a hug. Castiel, not knowing how to react, hugged him back. He didn't need to question Dean, he was quite used to Dean's abrupt hugs.

"Castiel, the Winchesters called. They said that they can't find-" Naomi trailed off when she entered the living room, "- Dean. Your parents are very worried, young man!" She said sternly, narrowing her eyes. 

Dean refused to meet her eyes and looked at the wall instead. Noticing his friend's mood, Castiel said, "Can Dean stay for supper, please?" 

When Naomi said nothing, Castiel added, "Please, it won't be for long. Please, mom." He gave her puppy-eyes.

Naomi looked between them and said, "Oh alright." She called Mary and John and asked them if it was alright that their son would stay over for supper. They agreed as long as he would be back within a few hours. After hanging up the phone, Naomi went to the kitchen to prepare supper.

"Where's your dad?" Dean asked.

"I don't know," Castiel said quietly and looped a finger through a small hole in his pajama pants.

"Probably at work. Mom says he  _really_  likes his job." Anna had plopped herself on the couch and turned on the T.V.

While Anna flipped through the channels, Castiel turned back to Dean and decided to continue their conversation.

"Why are you here, Deanie?" Castiel said.

"Don't call me that."

"Why not?" Castiel asked incredulously.

"It makes him sound like a baby, that's why," Anna said not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Shut up, Anna," They both said simultaneously. Anna smirked and said, "Aww, you're adorable." She reached over the couch and tried to pinch Castiel's cheeks but he got away just in time. He scowled and narrowed his eyes but she just laughed and turned her attention back to the T.V.

Dean knew that Castiel would never give up so he decided to tell him.

"My parents said that I'm going to have a brother." Dean's words dripped with disdain.

"Isn't that a good thing? We'll have another friend." Either Castiel couldn't hear Dean's disdain or maybe he wasn't listening, Dean wasn't sure. But Dean had to make sure his friend understood his worrying. 

"No, it isn't!" Dean exclaimed, fury evident in his voice.

"Why?"

"What if my parents decide to leave me for him?" Dean said quietly.

"That wouldn't happen."

"How do you know that?"

"Your parents love you very much and they wouldn't want to leave you," Castiel said and then added, "And you'll be a great brother, Dean."

"Really, you think so?"

"Yep, the best brother!" Castiel said and smiled cheerfully.

"And you'll be the one in charge so you'll be able to torture them." Anna smiled slyly at Castiel.

After a few minutes of conversation, Dean decided that having a brother wouldn't be so bad. He was actually getting excited when Naomi came in and called them to eat. Anna turned the T.V. off and the three of them raced to the kitchen.

Once Dean had finished eating, Naomi called his parents and they came to pick him up. His parents sighed in relief when they arrived. They said good-bye to Naomi and her children and then went back home.

"You had us worried, Dean," John said carrying Dean.

"I'm sorry." His eyes drooped and he hugged John tightly.

"Promise me that you won't do that again," Mary said sternly.

"Promise." His voice was drifting, which was a sign of his tiredness. Within minutes, they arrived at their home and Dean was soon put to bed.

* * *

_May 2nd, 2003_

Sam was born on May 2nd, 2003. A day before the event, Mary was rushed to the hospital. Dean wasn't permitted to go with them so he had to stay with the Miltons. He was sad to be separated from his family for such a long time. He supposed that spending the time with Castiel was an upside, though.

At exactly seven p.m., John called and told Naomi that Dean now had a little brother. Dean being his usual sneaky self, was actually listening in on the phone conversation and had momentarily forgotten that no one knew and said, "What's his name, daddy?"

John didn't comment on Dean's spying. He just laughed and said, "Sam."

"Can I meet him?" Castiel walked out of the bathroom, overhead the conversation and yelled in the phone, "Me too, me too!"

John laughed and said, "Alright, you can all meet him." After getting the directions and making sure that everyone was properly dressed, Naomi drove them to the hospital.

When they finally got the directions to Mary's room, Dean couldn't contain his excitement. Neither could Castiel, though his reasons were a bit different. Yes, he was excited to see the baby but he was also excited about the fact that Anna wasn't there and that he would be able rub it in her face that he'd gotten to see Sam before she did.

Upon entering the room, Dean saw that his mom was asleep. His father, however, wasn't. John was sitting in the chair and holding something very little wrapped in several blankets. Dean was pretty sure that it was Sam.

John looked up when he heard noises and upon seeing Dean, his eyes softened and he said, "Come meet your brother, Dean."

Dean walked hesitantly toward John and when he stood right next to his dad, the baby's eyes flew open and his little fingers flailed, as if searching for something, or rather someone. Dean linked his fingers with Sam's and said, "He's so small."

"Don't worry, he'll be big in no time." John laughed. Then his face grew serious and he said, "You're a big brother now, Dean. You'll have to always be there for him."

"Can I hold him?" Dean asked.

"Sure, bud. Just be careful." Dean sat down and John carefully handed Sam to him.

At that moment, Mary woke up and smiled upon seeing her family. When she was fully alert, John went outside to see Naomi and Castiel, who weren't allowed to come because they weren't family. John noticed that Castiel seemed to be very upset about this so he decided to try to pull a few strings.

While that was going on, Dean was still holding Sam. He looked down at Sam's face and said, "So you're my little brother, Sammy." Sam's stare intensified.

"Don't worry, I'll always be there for you," Dean said and smiled at Sam.

After a few minutes, Castiel emerged in the room and upon seeing the baby in Dean's arms, he exclaimed, "He's so small!"

" _Castiel,_ " Naomi said warningly.

"Don't worry, Dean said the same thing." John laughed while Castiel sat down next to Dean. He made funny faces, expecting a response but was disappointed to see that Sam wasn't really responding. In his opinion, babies were pretty boring. 

After taking many pictures and having some lunch, Naomi left with Dean and Castiel. John promised that they would come back that night. Dean didn't want to leave but he knew he had to. He knew that his parents would eventually come home and he couldn't wait until then because it meant that Sam would be coming home with them.

* * *

_November 2nd, 2003_

A few days after Sam turned six months old, a fire broke out. John handed Sam to Dean and told him to run outside and to never look back. Dean tried to protest, wanted to go back and save his mom but John hushed him and went back into the house by himself.

Before she took her last breath, one thing occurred to Mary: she would never hear her baby's beautiful laugh again. Sam's laugh had always made her happy but it didn't have quite the same effect as Dean's did, once upon a time. She knew that she should have felt guilty but it wasn't like she loved either of her sons more than the other.

There was just always a feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her feel a bit more protective and nourishing towards Dean than she probably should have been. She couldn't place what it was that made her feel that way.

* * *

During the funeral, John didn't say anything but Dean could tell that his father was hurting inside. He knew that he couldn't do anything to make it better though. So he just held Sam tighter, kissed his forehead and promised that he would always be there for him, no matter what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> So what do you think? Please review. Thank You.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story.
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter three

_Fall 2005_

After Mary's death, Dean noticed that his father had changed a lot. John was more distant and almost never smiled. Dean was worried that his father's sadness had something to do with him.

He had noticed that whenever Sam was near, John smiled a lot more often than he did around Dean. Naturally, as a curious child, Dean wanted to know why his father tried to avoid him whenever it was possible. So one day when John was watching T.V. and Sam was sleeping in his room, Dean decided to confront his dad.

"Daddy, can I ask you something?" Dean said hesitantly.

"What?" John asked in an irritated voice as he placed the bottle of liquor from which he had been drinking on the coffee table.

"You don't smile anymore, daddy." Dean pointed out.

"Nonsense, I smile all the time," John scrunched up his nose and bared his teeth. "See I'm smiling now." That wasn't a real smile; actually, Dean wasn't even sure what that was. Dean had seen his father happy when Mary was alive and knew what a real smile on his dad's face looked like. He decided to try a different approach.

"Ever since mommy died-" Suddenly, John got up from the couch, knocking over the bottle, which in turn shattered into a million different pieces.

Dean had an inkling that his heart would look like that after this confrontation.

"Don't you  _ever_ mention her." John had balled his hands into fists and his eyes held a wrath that Dean had never seen before.

"I-" Dean didn't have time to say anything because his father interrupted him again and yelled, "It's your fault! Your goddamn fault."

"I'm sor-"

"You just had to have your stupid macaroni and cheese, didn't you? Couldn't deal with what she made? Well guess what, now she's dead and no one's here to make you your favorite food." John kept shouting.

"I'm sorry, daddy." Dean said quietly and tried to keep the tears at bay.  _Stop crying, Dean. Big boys don't cry._

"I can't look at you right now. Youeven  _look_ like her." John kept yelling and suddenly, Sam started to cry. John left to check on Sam, leaving Dean alone in the room.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, not sure to whom he was speaking.

Then he decided to do what he hadn't done in two years: run away to the Miltons. Seeing Castiel would help him. He knew it would. He was down the street before John even had the chance to notice he was gone.

When he rung the doorbell, he expected Castiel or Anna to answer. However, as the door opened, he was met with Naomi's equally shocked face.

"Dean, does your father know you're here?" Naomi asked crossing her arms.

Dean shook his head, looking down at the ground.

"I'll go call him." Naomi was about to leave to get the phone when Dean tugged on her shirtsleeve.

"Yes?" She turned back and quirked an eyebrow. Dean didn't know much about make-up but he had known Mrs. Milton long enough to notice that her face seemed to be painted in more colors than it usually was. And when he leaned closer, he thought that he could see the outlines of a bruise around her right eye but he decided to put it off. He had more important matters to discuss.

"Please don't call my dad," Dean said desperately.

"I-" Naomi looked at Dean's big hopeful eyes and said, "Oh alright." She let him in and he ran up the stairs to Castiel's room.

He started rapidly knocking on the door when Castiel yelled, "I told you to stop that, Anna. I'm going to tell mom."

"I'm not Anna." Dean yelled back. Within seconds, the door opened and Castiel let Dean come into his room.

Castiel sat on the bed and Dean sat next to him. Castiel tilted his head to the side when he noticed Dean's frown and said, "What's wrong?"

Dean started to cry so Castiel just wrapped his arms around Dean and let him. When he was done crying, Dean began explaining.

"It's not your fault." Castiel said once Dean finished relaying what had happened. 

"But my dad, he said-" Dean's lips trembled as he spoke.

" _Dean_." For a six-year old, Castiel sure did have a strong gaze. Dean would've been a bit scared had he not known him all his life.

Dean looked up at Castiel questioningly. "Your father is just upset. Give him time."

"It's been two years already!" Dean whisper-yelled.

"Dean, your dad loved your mom very much. How would you like it if someone you wanted to be with forever suddenly died?" Castiel said.

Dean looked at Castiel and suddenly realized what his dad must've been going through. "I wouldn't want to be alive knowing that they weren't."

"Your dad is probably feeling it worse. He did know your mom from a very young age." Castiel pointed out.

Dean had known Castiel from a young age too and he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose him. He hoped that day would never come.

"I just hope he gets better." He looked at Castiel and added. "I mean, Sam is going to need his dad around too."

"I know," Castiel murmured softly.

After a few minutes of silence, Dean said, "So where's your dad?"

"I don't know. He hasn't been home in a few days. He had a fight with mom and then left." Castiel rushed his words.

"Does your mom's face have anything to do with it?"

"What about my mom's face?" Castiel said defensively. After many years of knowing Castiel, Dean knew that he should've just stopped right there. But he couldn't and he wouldn't; he wanted answers.

"Where'd she get that bruise?" Dean asked curiously.

"I don't know." Castiel blurted out rather quickly and then said, "Why don't you ask her, if you're so curious."

"You're my friend, not her," Dean argued back. 

"It's nothing," Castiel insisted.

"Cas-" Dean started off.

"I don't want to talk about it." He hunched his shoulders and refused to look Dean in the eye.

"Fine." Dean sat and crossed his arms.

"Fine." Castiel repeated.

They sat on opposite sides of the bed, frowning. Suddenly, Castiel giggled and Dean followed shortly. Soon, they couldn't stop laughing. They were rolling on the bed with laughter, holding their stomachs.

After a few minutes, Castiel calmed down and wiped at the tears that had formed from the laughter. "I'm sorry, Dean. I just can't tell you yet."

"It's alright, Cas. You don't have to tell me now. You can tell me when you're ready." Dean moved closer to his friend and took him into his arms.

That was the way Naomi found them: in each other's arms. Castiel wasn't embarrassed. He knew that he would always want Dean around. Dean, however, scrambled to the other side of the bed as soon as he had noticed Naomi.

"Your father called and I told him that you were here," Naomi said simply.

"Why?" Dean cried.

"Your father was very worried." She exclaimed.

"So you told him I was _here_." Dean accused her.

"Of course I told him. I wasn't going to put up with your shenanigans."

"When's he coming?" Dean asked gloomily.

"In a few minutes. I suggest you go downstairs and get ready." And with that, Naomi left the room.

"Your mom's a bit scary when she's mad," Dean said.

"A bit?" Cas asked tilting his head. Dean laughed.

They went downstairs and Dean put on his coat. For a few minutes, they sat on the couch not saying anything. When the doorbell rang, Dean tensed up. Castiel put a hand on his shoulder and said reassuringly "Don't worry."

Naomi opened the door and John stepped inside, holding Sam. Seeing Sammy made Dean relax a bit and smile.

"Lost anything of yours?" Naomi said smiling a bit.

"Oh thank god." John said as he saw Dean sitting on the couch. He thanked Naomi and took Dean into his other arm. When John was done, he put Dean down and let him say good-bye to Castiel. Then they went home.

Afterwards, when Sam was tucked away to sleep, Dean and John were sitting at the kitchen table silently. Dean wouldn't let himself look up at his dad.

"You promised you wouldn't do that ever again," John said.

"I'm sorry." Dean was tired of apologizing. It felt like that was all he did.

John rubbed his hands over his face and in that moment, Dean didn't see his father; he saw a man who was shaped by the grief and loss that had forced him to age quickly.

John cleared his throat and said, "No, you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Huh?" Dean was surprised; he thought for sure that he was going to be grounded for the rest of his life. 

"I," John sighed. "Dean, I'm sorry about what I said. It was no one's fault that your mom died-"

"But you said-"

"Forget what I said, dammit!" John hit the table and Dean jumped back a bit.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." John kept mumbling. "I just miss her so much." John said and put his head into his hands.

Dean climbed out of his seat and went to stand next to his dad. Dean put his arms around his dad and hugged him as tightly as he could. John returned the hug. It was funny how sometimes kids could handle emotions better than adults.

"I've failed as father, haven't I?" John asked when they separated.

Dean shook his head and said, "No, daddy, you could never fail me. And you've been a great dad to Sam."

"Dean, let's be honest. I haven't been a great dad in a while." John sighed and then added, "But that ends today. What do you say, you, me and Sammy go to the park tomorrow?"

Dean's eyes brightened and he said, "Okay, daddy."

Before he went to sleep that night, Dean thought over the fact that he had broken the promise he made to his mother a few years ago. That was when he realized that maybe promises couldn't always be kept.

The next day, they ate breakfast together as a family and then went to the park. They spent the whole day there. Dean noticed that his father was trying to smile a lot more often and actually participate.

From there on, John started paying equal attention both of his sons. He tried to be more attentive and caring and Dean was really happy about it. He was happy that he finally had his dad back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.
> 
> Disclaimer 3: The lyrics that are used in this fic are not mine and I am not making money by writing them in to one line.

Chapter four

_Spring 2007_

Time went by quickly in Lawrence, Kansas. Or maybe it just seemed that way to the Winchesters. Before they had a chance to blink, Sam started talking non-stop. He had a persuasive way of talking that got him out of all kinds of trouble. John joked that no one would want to argue with Sam if he ever became a lawyer.

One day, both Castiel and Dean had a day off from school and decided to have a sleepover. The night before, Castiel had packed up his bag and dropped it off at Dean's house. He couldn't sleep all night; excitement overwhelmed him.

When the bell rang, Castiel rushed off to Dean's homeroom. He met Dean in the hallway and together they walked out of the front door.

Castiel was usually a quiet kid and that didn't really bother Dean. He liked that they weren't similar in that sense; it was nice having friends who were different from you. But today, he seemed quieter than usual and Dean wanted to know why.

"What's up with you today, Cas?" Dean said as they crossed the road. 

"What do you mean?" Castiel tilted his head in a familiar fashion.

"You're really quiet," Dean said.

"I'm always quiet," Castiel said when they rounded the corner. A few more steps and they would soon be at Dean's house.

" _Cas_." Dean arched his eyebrow.

" _Dean._ " Castiel retorted and snickered.

"I'm serious."

"I thought you were Dean," Castiel smirked.

"Shut up," Dean said and went to ruffle his friend's hair. Castiel swatted at his hand but Dean knew that he wasn't really upset; Castiel's smile was the best indicator.

Dean fetched the keys out of his pockets and proceeded to open the house door.

"Girls first." Dean gestured at the door and grinned at Castiel.

"Shut up." Castiel said but didn't waste time by shoving Dean aside and walking into the house triumphantly.

"Hey!" Dean called after him as he entered the house and locked the door.

Cas laughed in response and said, "Race you to your room." He started to run toward the stairs but Dean caught his arm and said, "Shhh! Sammy's asleep upstairs."

"Oh, I'm so sorry- I didn't know-" At the last second, Castiel noticed the mischievous glint in Dean's eyes but before he could say anything, Dean pushed his arm away and went flying up the stairs.

"I'm going to get you for this," Castiel said as he ran up the stairs, two steps at a time.

"Yeah, whenever you're ready,  _girl,_ " Dean teased from the top of the stairs.

"You'd better be prepared, Dean. I have such an evil plan in mind," Castiel said as he walked down the hallway to Dean's room.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dean called back and entered his room. As Dean sat down on his bed and grabbed the TV remote, someone suddenly attacked him.

Castiel had promised Dean that he would get his revenge so he snuck up behind Dean and started tickling Dean. He knew that tickling was Dean's weakness and had decided to use it against him. He was an evil genius after all.

"Cas…hahahahahaha….Cas stop…hahahaha…Cas, please stop." Dean couldn't stop laughing.

"Say uncle."

"Uncle, Cas, Uncle." Dean breathed.

Cas stopped tickling. Dean held out his hand and said, "Truce?"

"Truce." Dean shook his hand. They propped the pillows up against the wall and settled back down while watching T.V.

After watching several episodes of  _Drake & Josh, _the boys decided to get some food.

"So where is Sam," Castiel asked as they walked down the stairs.

"Oh, Dad was supposed to pick him up from school and they were gonna go to Uncle Bobby's house."

"Who's Bobby?" Castiel asked curiously as he sat on the stool and swung his legs under the kitchen counter.

"He's my dad's friend. He's not really my uncle, but he's kind of like a brother to dad. What do you want, peanut butter or nutella?" Dean said as he looked through the cupboard.

"I'll have both," Castiel said and Dean looked back at him, appalled.

"That's gross but whatever," Dean said and placed the two jars on the table. He went to the other side of the kitchen.

Castiel hopped off his stool and followed Dean. "So why didn't you go with them?"

"Well because, we had this sleepover planned and I didn't want to cancel it," Dean said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But didn't you want to see Bobby?"

"Of course I did but I didn't want you to be upset if I had cancelled."

"Thanks, Deanie. That was nice of you." Castiel smiled and went to hug Dean.

"I told you to stop calling me that. And I'm not nice." Dean pretended to be annoyed but hugged Castiel anyway.

"Fine, you're a meanie." Castiel giggled.

They made themselves sandwiches and sat down at the table. They talked about what was new in school. Dean seemed to be very impressed with the new kid, Asher who, in Dean's words, "was a smarter genius than Matilda" and kept going on and on about him and when he was finished, Castiel took the opportunity to complain about his sister, Anna and how she managed to get him in trouble even when he hadn't done anything.

Once they finished eating, they decided to play some board games and got into an argument whether  _Monopoly_  or  _Connect Four_  was the better game but it was soon resolved when Dean offered to make some pizza-rolls.

During the third  _Harry Potter_  movie that Castiel technically wasn't allowed to watch but Dean had convinced him to watch anyway, John returned with a tired-looking Sam on his arm.

John took Sam to take a bath and then changed him into his pajamas, even though Sam kept insisting that he could do it himself. After putting on Sam's bathrobe, John picked him up and carried him back to the living room.

Sam practically jumped out of his father's arms and ran to Dean. He jumped on Dean's lap and said, "Guess who I saw today."

"I don't know, who?" Dean asked feigning ignorance. 

"Uncle Bobby and his wife Karen!" His eyes widened and he gave a hearty laugh that made Dean smile in return.

"Did you like it there?" Dean asked although he already knew the answer. Who wouldn't like Uncle Bobby?

"Very much." Sam bobbled his head up and down.

"Sam, we agreed for five minutes. It's time to go to sleep," John said sternly as he walked back in from the kitchen.

Sam grumbled disappointedly but said goodnight to Castiel and Dean and then went upstairs with John.

After putting Sam to sleep, John walked down the stairs and sat in his chair. "Why doesn't one of you go shower first and you can tell me all about your day later?"

"Sure, Mr. Winchester, I'll go first." Castiel jumped off the couch, grabbed his bag and went upstairs to take a shower.

While Castiel took a shower, Dean told John about their day and what they had done. He especially made sure to mention that Castiel ate nutella and peanut butter together with such deep awe that John couldn't help but laugh.

When Castiel finished showering, he put on his pajamas and went downstairs. He deliberately kept looking at the floor and refused to meet anyone's eyes. When Dean asked him about it, Castiel just shrugged and looked out the window. 

"Why don't you go take a shower, Dean?" Dean was about to argue but saw the determined look in his father's eyes.

"Fine." Dean sulked and went upstairs.

When Dean was out of earshot, John turned to Castiel and said, "Cas, I've known you for a while. You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

Castiel hesitantly nodded.

"Cas, look at me." John said and Castiel raised his head shyly. John could see traces of a bruise around Castiel's right eye.

"Who gave you that shiner?" John said as he pointed at Castiel's eye.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Castiel crossed his arms and looked the other way.

"Son, I've been around long enough to know evidence of bruises. And I do know that even during play-fighting, Dean can sometimes be a little too-"

"It wasn't Dean!" Castiel shouted and looked back at a bewildered John. When he realized that he had raised his voice, he ashamedly shifted his gaze back to the window.

"Then who was it?" John prodded.

"I can't tell you."

John was about to say something else when he noticed the fearful look in Castiel's eyes. "Alright, I'll stop asking. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here, okay?" John looked at Castiel for confirmation and Castiel nodded.

Later, when Dean was settled in his bed and Cas was in his inflatable bed, Dean turned over the edge of his bed and turned on the radio.

"What are you doing, Dean?" Castiel asked. He had had a long day and all he wanted to do was sleep.

"Turning on the radio." The 'duh' was clear in the tone of his voice.

"Why?"

"Because I like to listen to the radio before I go to sleep."

"Why?" Castiel repeated.

"God, you're so nosy. I don't know, my mom used to sing to me before I went to sleep but she's not here anymore so I listen to the radio and it calms me down before sleep."

"That's pretty sad, Dean." Castiel yawned.

"You're such a drama queen, Cas." Dean teased but in his mind he couldn't help but agree.

" _We'll do it all. Everything, on our own_ " belted through the speakers and Dean was about to turn the knob to the next station when Castiel whispered-yelled, "No, leave it." Castiel looked at him pleadingly.

"You like this song?" Dean asked as he moved his hand back onto his pillow.

"Yes, it's very peaceful."

"How? He just keeps singing about chasing cars. Between me and you, he sounds a bit crazy." Dean snorted.

"That's not what the song is about." Castiel said defensively.

"Then what's it about, hmm?"

"My sister Anna says that it's about being with who you love no matter what."

"Anna's thirteen."

"So, we're eight. And Anna has a boyfriend."

"She does not." Dean couldn't believe it.

"She does so." Castiel retorted and stretched his arms. Dean noticed a bruise on his wrist.

"So what you want a boyfriend too, Cas?" Dean grinned at Castiel.

"Of course not, I'm only eight, Dean."

Dean grunted in response, not sure what to say.

"But if you want, I can be your boyfriend." Castiel said and smiled.

"But we're both boys." Dean was appalled at the proposition.

"So? It doesn't matter to me. Does it matter to you?" Castiel looked expectantly at Dean.

"No." Dean sighed.

"Okay, so what do we have to do? Sign an agreement?" Castiel asked.

"No, I don't think so. Let's just shake hands." Castiel got out of his bed and sat next to Dean. They shook hands and then Castiel leaned in to kiss Dean's cheek. Dean wiped at his cheek and said, "Eww, Cas!" Castiel giggled in response.

Dean looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost eleven. "We should go to sleep before my dad realizes that we're still awake."

"Alright." Castiel climbed back into his bed and Dean shut off the nightlight.

Just when Castiel was about to fall asleep, Dean's voice brought him back to reality.

"Cas?" Dean asked suddenly.

"Hmm?" Castiel yawned.

"Where did you get that bruise, Cas?"

"What bruise?"

"Cas, I know about the bruises. I saw them and I heard you talking to my dad."

"It's none of your business." Castiel refused to roll over to look at Dean.

"Cas, I'm your friend. Well, I guess boyfriend now, ha. Anyway, you should tell me stuff."

"What if I don't want to?"

"You have to anyway." Dean persisted.

"Well, I don't and even if I wanted to, I couldn't tell you anyway." Castiel said sharply.

"Okay, Cas, I get it. Good-night." Dean decided to end the conversation.

"Night, Dean." Castiel said in return. But before Castiel fell asleep, Dean called his name.

"Yes?" Castiel asked.

"For the record, if you wanted to, I wouldn't mind chasing cars with you."

"I wouldn't either." Castiel said assuredly.

"Night, Cas." Dean said.

"Good-night, Dean." Castiel said and rolled back over so that he was facing the wall.

Dean waited until Castiel fell asleep. When he confirmed that Castiel was asleep, he climbed out of his bed and walked on tiptoes to his dad's bedroom.

John was sitting in bed and had the TV on low volume. When Dean entered the room, John quickly muted the TV and alarmingly said, "What's wrong, Dean? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Dad, have you seen Cas's bruises?"

John sighed and put his mug down on his nightstand. Dean could see that the photo frame with his mother's picture stood on his nightstand. He was surprised that John had managed to save it, what with the fire destroying most of their things.

John noticed Dean's glance and smiled softly. "The firefighters managed to save it, said they had a feeling that it would've meant a lot to me."

Dean was caught off guard about his dad speaking about his mom so calmly. Usually, Mary was a forbidden subject and whenever the conversation was necessary, it was always very cautious. 

"Anyway, back to what you asked, I did see the bruises and I tried to talk him but that friend of yours is just too stubborn for his own good." Dean laughed a bit but then grew silent.

"I think it has something to do with his dad. I've seen bruises on Naomi too." Dean said.

"I suspect the same." John said and sighed yet again.

"Then we should do something about it, dad! Cas's dad is a bad guy."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Call the police." Dean said urgently.

John laughed cynically and said, "Sometimes I wish it was that simple."

"Why can't it be simple?"

"Dean, Cas's dad, Inias, is a very powerful lawyer. Even if we tried, we couldn't possibly beat him."

"I just want to help Cas. He looks sad almost all the time."

"I know you do, Dean, but sometimes you can't always help your friends the way you want to; sometimes you have to find other ways."

"Like how?" Dean asked.

"I think just being there for them is enough sometimes."

Dean nodded, bid goodnight to his dad and went back to his room. On the way to his room, Dean opened Sam's door and snuck his head in.

"Goodnight, Sammy." Dean said and then shut the door quietly. He soon arrived at his room and took great care not to disturb Cas as he tiptoed back to his bed.

Before Dean fell asleep, he thought about Castiel's home life and the unfairness of the situation and how he wished that there was something, anything he could do to help Castiel and ease his pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter five

_June 2009_

The excitement of the summer was evident amongst the busy chatter of the students in the cafeteria. It was a few weeks before summer break would begin and all the students would go off on their separate adventures, or more likely, their long awaited naps.

Dean was quite excited himself but tried not to show it. He sat down at a table near the windows and unwrapped his sandwich. As he was unwrapping his sandwich, he heard giggling. He looked up and noticed the swarm of girls who were passing him. Lisa, one of the girls and Dean's classmate smiled shyly at him. He winked at her and she blushed. Then they took off.

Dean chuckled to himself as he took a bite of his sandwich. He knew that he was handsome, plenty of girls and women had told him so. That didn't mean that he wanted a girlfriend, even though most of his classmates were after that and anyway, he was  _only_  ten. There was only one person who he really liked- Speak of the devil.

"Hey, Dean." Castiel threw his backpack down and slumped forward in his seat.

"Tough day," Dean asked when he noticed the frown on Castiel's face.

"I-uh-." Castiel stuttered as he tried to open his own sandwich but got stuck with the zipper on his lunchbox.

"What happened, Cas," Dean asked.

"Nothing." Castiel scratched at his neck.

"Don't lie to me, Cas. Is Zach bothering you again?"

"NO!" At the pointed look Dean gave him, Castiel looked down at the table and whispered, "Yeah." His voice cracked a bit at that but he tried not to show how upset he really was.  _You're a man, Castiel. Be a man._  His father's voice rang through his head.

He didn't even look up until he noticed that Dean had gotten up from their table.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Castiel asked as he noticed that Dean was headed toward Zack's table. He tugged on Dean's arm but Dean pushed him away lightly and said, "Stay here."

Castiel sighed.

Dean arrived at Zack's table. Zack's friends, well, more like followers, were laughing as Zack stuck some popcorn kernels in his nostrils and blew them out. Dean couldn't fathom what could possibly be funny about that. It was actually pretty disgusting. He cleared his throat.

Zack looked up and his eyes seemed to have a mischievous glint. But upon closer inspection, they looked mean, sinister even.

"May I help you," Zack said as he smirked.

"You know Cas?"

"Is that what you call him? I just call him twerp or nerd." One of the goons laughed.

"You think that's so funny. Well let me tell you, in ten years, you'll be a college dropout, working on a minimum-wage salary, hoping to pay off the loans for the college that you didn't even finish. No one will care about you, not even any of these so-called 'friends' of yours. And you know where Cas'll be? He'll be among the stars. He'll be doing great things and if you ever touch him again, I will hurt you."

"Is that so," Zack said. He was smirking, but the fear was evident in his eyes.  _Good, my work here is done._ Dean thought angrily.

Later, Dean told Castiel what had occurred and Castiel shook his head and said, "You didn't have to do that." But the small smile on his face proved otherwise.

A few days later, Zack had tried to get under Castiel's skin again. Dean punched him in the face and said, "I told you I'd be watching you. Oh and since you didn't understand me the first time, I'm going to tell you something else. My dad's an ex-marine, just in case you ever try that again." He made sure to stress every syllable.

Dean got a detention for the fight and a speech from his father. "Threatening that boy with my veteran status wasn't really smart. You know the crap I had to go through while talking to his parents?" John had asked. And Dean told him that the kid had been picking on Castiel nonstop and that Castiel didn't deserve it, on top of the home abuse Dean knew he was forced to endure. John just sighed and sent Dean to his room.

Dean was supposed to be grounded for a few weeks but John let up after a few days because he knew who was really at fault and that Dean was just doing what he thought best.

Dean didn't regret punching Zack nor did he regret the detention. It was all worth it. Because a few days after the fight, Zack and his goons stayed out of his way and if they even tried to mess with Castiel, they knew that Dean wouldn't let them. And it turned out that Zack and his parents were moving away anyway.

On the last day of school, Dean and Castiel ran out of the school laughing hysterically. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand as they ran and tried not to let it go until they were halfway down the street. It was the happiest they had been in a while.

It was also the happiest memory that both of them held on to after everything that occurred in the following years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter six

_January 2010_

Most kids were upset when the holiday break ended. It meant that they had to go back to school, wake up at the ungodly hours of the days, and endure the oh-so nauseating work they were forced to do. Castiel, however was so excited to get back to school that he stood apart like a bright star among all the other students.

The holidays weren't as bad as they were last year for him. He had managed to stay out of trouble and got to spend time with his sister and mother. Furthermore, his father stayed over-time at the office so many times that Castiel rarely saw him. It was almost easy to pretend that he didn't exist.

But that wasn't the most exciting thing that had occurred over the holiday break. The day before, Castiel had found out that he was going to have a younger sibling and he couldn't wait to share this news with Dean.

While rummaging through his locker, he felt something touch his head. He turned around but didn't see anyone and went back to looking through his locker. Then, he felt it on the other side of his head and suddenly heard giggling. He turned around and saw Dean.

"That wasn't funny, Dean!" Cas scowled.

"You're right. It wasn't funny-" Dean laughed and added, "-It was hilarious."

Castiel rolled his eyes as he got his math textbook out of his locker. Dean had a knack for being dramatic. He leaned against his locker door and said, "You'll never guess what I found out this break."

"What, that you're an alien monkey? I knew that way before you." Dean smirked.

"Shut up, Dean." Castiel lightly punched Dean in the arm.

Dean opened his locker and several things flew out. Dean's locker was always packed with so many things; half of them Dean wasn't even sure what they were. Castiel made a disgusted face. He was pretty sure that his friend had a hoarding problem but he wasn't going to bring it up. Throughout the time that Castiel had known him, he noticed that Dean tended to get angry when he was criticized. So of course he wasn't going to mention the problem to Dean at all. No  _way_  did he want to make that mistake.

"Shoot." Dean said as he leaned down to grab his stuff. He went to throw out some of the stuff he no longer needed and Castiel let out a breath of relief. At least his friend knew that he had some sort of problem.

Dean came back and rummaged through his locker once again. This time he managed to get his English textbook out and slammed the door quickly before anything else would fall out.

"All right, I'm listening. What did the genius manage to find out this holiday break?" Dean asked leaning against his locker. 

"Dean, I'm not a genius. And I'm going to have a little brother!" Castiel could barely contain his excitement. It reminded Dean of the day Sam was born. He realized then that he hadn't seen Castiel this excited in a very long time.

"How do you know it's going to be a boy?"

"Well my parents want it to be a boy and they're certain so I think that, too." Castiel smiled brightly.

"Right." Dean said uncertainly. "So what's his name going to be?"

"Michael." Castiel said without a doubt.

"Like the angel."

"Mhmm." Castiel nodded.

"Your parents sure do like those angel names. You guys can start a family band called, 'The Angels.' Too bad Anna isn't named after an angel."

"Actually she is."

"No way."

"Yes way." Castiel smirked.

"So what's her full name then?" Dean asked curiously.

"I-uh probably shouldn't tell you." Castiel looked down the hallway to make sure no one was listening.

"C'mon, Cas, it wont hurt anyone. I promise I won't tease Anna." Dean tried to sound convincing.

"Dean, you're a very bad liar." Castiel sighed. "Oh alright, it's Anael."

Castiel wasn't sure what to expect but he definitely didn't expect Dean laughing so much that he fell on the floor and wouldn't get up for a few minutes.

"Dean, it's not that funny!" Castiel thought that that would calm Dean down but that apparently had the opposite effect when he saw Dean going off into another batch of giggles.

"Okay, Okay, I'm sorry, I'll stop." Dean wiped at the tears that had formed and got up after a few minutes.

"But I have to tell you Cas, Anna better hope that no one ever finds out her real name. 'Cuz it sounds a bit well... wrong."

"Okaay…" Castiel wasn't sure what his friend was referring to but he didn't bother asking. Even though they were born a few days apart, Dean seemed to know a lot more and often acted a lot older than he did. He supposed it was because Dean was the oldest in his family and was close to his dad.

The warning bell rang signifying the beginning of first period.

"I have to go to Math." said Castiel.

"Yeah, I have to go to English, I heard the teacher's tough."

"Who do you have?" Castiel asked, trying to sneak a look at the schedule in Dean's hands. 

Dean turned the paper towards him and said, "Mrs. Roberts."

Castiel winced as if he was in pain and said, "Good luck in that class, friend."

"Why does that sound like you're saying goodbye to me before I go on a battlefield?"

"I'm just saying that I had trouble getting an A in that class and English is my  _favorite_ subject."

"Cas, every subject is your favorite subject."

"It is not." Castiel said defensively. 

"All right, no need to get upset. I was just teasing you." Dean gave a small smile.

Suddenly Castiel pulled Dean into a hug and said, "Good luck, Dean. I'll see you later."

The hug surprised Dean and it was a few seconds before Dean could tear away. "Cas, you have to stop doing that. We're grown boys. It's weird if you keep hugging me in school."

The bell rang at that moment and Dean rushed off to his next class, not noticing the hurt look that flashed across Castiel's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.  
> P.S. I am looking for a beta. Please message me if you are interested. Thanks.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter seven

 _March 5th, 2010_  

On March 5th, 2010, Castiel woke up at the time he usually did. He got out of bed, brushed his teeth, and put on his clothes. He went downstairs and ate breakfast with his sister while his mother made some coffee. His father was nowhere to be seen but Castiel didn't care much about his missing presence. He suspected his father was at the office.

Their mother packed their lunch and walked them to the school bus. She waved as the bus drove away, her figure became smaller and smaller as the bus drove farther away. That day started out as most days had and Castiel didn't think that anything out of the ordinary was going to happen. He was, of course, proven wrong.

At the end of the school day, Castiel went to their usual meeting spot and stood there waiting for Dean. After a few minutes of waiting, Castiel thought about walking home alone but then he spotted Dean.

Dean was not alone though. A kid with long blonde hair and dark brown eyes was standing next to him. He was a bit taller than Dean. Castiel could see that they were laughing as they walked. He did not know who the kid was. Castiel supposed that it was his fault though. Ever the shy kid who couldn't get the courage up to talk to others, Castiel didn't really get to socialize with kids his age outside of Dean. As they got closer, Castiel felt himself stiffen.

"Hey Cas, this is Ash." Dean's eyes sparkled brightly. Castiel squinted his eyes in deep concentration as he racked his brain thinking up why the name sounded so familiar.

"Is he okay?" Ash asked. To which Dean said, "Don' t worry, he always does this when he thinks."

Ash nodded right when Castiel blurted, "You're Asher." Castiel remembered Dean mentioning him before.

" _Dude."_ Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

"Don't ever call me that again." Ash said.

"Alright." Castiel's ears had reddened a bit.

"So you're Cas?" Ash seemed to be sizing Castiel up. Castiel felt a bit uncomfortable at having someone stare so long at him.

"Yes that would be me. But my full name's Castiel. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't call me that though."

"Hey, it's cool. I get it, I have a pretty weird name too." Just then a minivan pulled up and middle-aged woman with different-colored curlers in her hair and a rainbow T-shirt on stuck her head out the window, "Asher, get in. It's time to go home."

Ash scrunched up his nose. "I hate when she calls me that. But what can you do? She takes care of me and I should be glad that she does. See ya man." Ash held up his hand and Dean gave him a high five.

As Ash walked to the car, he yelled, "Nice to meet you, Cas." He waved at them as he got into the car. They drove off before Castiel could respond.

"So how was your day?" Castiel asked as they walked down the street.

"It was okay. Yours?"

"Fine. How's Mrs. Roberts treating you?" Castiel smirked knowing the answer.

"Ugh, I hate her. She's so mean and she's immune to all my charms. I just can't wait for summer."

"What charms, Dean?" Castiel snickered and Dean pushed him lightly. "Shut up, Cas."

"So that was Asher." Castiel said after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah but I don't think he'd appreciate you calling him that."

Castiel decided to voice the thing that had been bugging him and said, "How come I haven't seen him around a lot?"

"Oh, kid had some trouble at home. He had to leave and was homeschooled before coming back this year." Dean explained.

"Why? What happened?" Castiel asked curiously.

"I don't know the whole story," Dean paused. "But let's just say that his parents aren't very nice people."

Castiel was confused. That lady seemed a bit off, sure, but she didn't seem to be mean. 

It looked like Dean got what Castiel was thinking because he then said, "That lady ain't his mother. She's his aunt, Ellen."

"Oh." Castiel said. Though he knew it was mean, he couldn't help feeling a little bit glad that he wasn't the only one with horrible parents. It felt good to know that he wasn't alone for a few seconds before Castiel felt ashamed at feeling happy about someone's else miseries.

Once they reached Dean's house, Dean said good-bye and then raced up the stairs to open the door. He waved through the window to Castiel and then disappeared, probably off to his room.

When Castiel stood in front of his house, he rang the doorbell. He was surprised when no one opened it. He knew that his mother was home. He sighed as he dug through his bag, trying to find his key.

"Aha!" He said triumphantly as he found the key, unlocked the door and then closed it.

"Mom, I'm home." Castiel called from the hallway as he hung his coat and took off his shoes. He placed everything neatly inside the closet and stepped out into the living room.

He called for his mom again but she did not respond. He was surprised that she didn't. She usually made lunch for him at this time before her afternoon nap. It was pretty weird but he just shrugged it off.

He went upstairs to his room and took out his textbook. He was going to start his homework when he heard a noise. It appeared to be coming from his parent's bedroom. Castiel chose to ignore it. However as time went by, it did not stop and he decided to investigate.

He walked down the hallway and then opened his parent's bedroom door. He did not see anything strange but could still hear the noise. He realized that the noise was coming from the bathroom. Arriving in front of the bathroom, he turned the doorknob; not knowing that what was on the other side would change him forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank you,
> 
> P.S. I'm still looking for a beta. Please message me if you are interested. Thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story.
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter eight                

 _March 5th,_   _2010 (part two)_

Castiel turned the doorknob hesitantly. When he walked into the bathroom, he gasped.

Naomi Milton lay on the floor; crimson liquid oozing out of her arms. A knife lay next to her and two big cuts sliced through each arm. It took a few seconds for Castiel to register what he was seeing and he quickly walked toward his mother.

"Mother, wake up." He tried to nudge her but she did not answer.

"Mother, wake up.  _Please_ , mother." He kept shaking her, hoping that he would be able to bring the life back into her.

"Mama, you have to wake up. You  _have_  to." His voice cracked at the end and he blinked away the tears that had managed to form. _Now was not the time to cry. He needed to be a man; he needed to save his mother._

Naomi did not move at all. Castiel moved across the bathroom and turned the phone on.

"Do you miss me already, Cas?" Dean teased from the other side of the phone.

"Deanie,  _something's_  wrong." Castiel whispered.

Dean had not heard that nickname in a long time. He immediately realized that something was  _very_  wrong. His smile fell instantly. "What? What is it, Cas?

"There's just so much blood." Castiel tried to close his eyes.

" _What_?"

"There's so much blood." He repeated.

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"My mom, she- " Castiel wasn't even sure what to call it.

"She what, Cas?" Dean asked impatiently.

"I think she's dying, Dean." Castiel said promptly.

"Christ, Cas." There was a pause of silence before Dean continued. "Are you home by yourself?"

" _Yes_." It sounded more like a question. Apparently he was now home by himself. He had made the mistake of thinking he was alone before though.

"Okay, you have to listen to me carefully." Dean waited for a reply and only when Castiel realized that did he answer, "Okay."

"Okay, my dad's home today. He's going to call the police and they're going to arrive at your house. So if someone rings, it's probably them." Dean paused again and then said, "And uh, keep talking to your mom. It might help for her to hear your voice. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, Dean." Castiel said assuredly. He didn't think he could do it, though. But he didn't want to tell Dean. He didn't want to look like a failure in front of another person.

"Okay, Cas, I know I shouldn't tell you this, but you have to stay calm. The police will be there soon, okay."

"Okay." Castiel mumbled. He hung up and took his mother's hand. He told her different stories; he recounted the adventures that he had participated in. He told her everything, from his fights with Anna to the Friday lunch specials they served at his school.

Then he told her stories of angels and how they would come down and guard those who were sick or unhappy or even those who needed someone to just be there. He told her how he still believed in them, even after everything he'd been through. He wouldn't stop believing in them,  _he wouldn't_. 

"Don't worry, mama, angels are protecting you." Castiel said.  _Keep calm._ He had to remind himself. He had to be brave and strong for his mother's sake.

The ambulance arrived shortly. The paramedics placed Naomi on a stretcher and Castiel held her hand the whole time. Castiel did not stop talking the whole way to the hospital.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter nine

_March 5th, 2010 (part three)_

Though Castiel felt like it was the longest drive he had experienced, the ambulance arrived at the hospital within minutes. The paramedics worked quickly, getting Naomi into the emergency room and receiving medical attention immediately. All the while, Castiel stood like a bystander who was frozen in time and unable to move.

He didn't move until one nurse came up to him and lead him to the waiting room. She asked him for an emergency contact number and before he knew it, he was giving her father's number. He knew that his father did not like being torn away from his work but he couldn't think of anyone else to call. Furthermore, although John Winchester had seemed like a good choice to call, he thought it might be suspicious if he gave the number of a stranger (albeit his neighbor), as oppose to the number of his father.

After writing down the number, the nurse smiled sympathetically and said to let her know if he would need anything before she left. Castiel nodded politely and looked around the room. Most people were asleep or seemed to be heading in that direction. Castiel didn't think he was going to be able to fall asleep.

A pile of magazines was stacked on a nearby table. He noticed a coloring book on top of the pile. A few crayons lay near it and Castiel decided to take it.

He opened the book and began coloring it. He was just about done with the first page when he heard the familiar voice and his blood ran cold. "What the hell are you doing with a coloring book, Castiel? You're not a child anymore!"

Upon hearing his father's voice, Castiel shut the book faster than lighting speed and looked up. Anna stood next to their father, her arms crossed, wearing a sour expression. Then again, she always looked annoyed. Naomi had deemed it, "the rebellious teenage stage." Castiel hoped that becoming a teenager wouldn't cause him to dye his hair a different color. He often wondered what had so strongly influenced his sister's choice.

Inias went to fill out some paperwork while Anna jumped into the chair next to Castiel's. She pinched his cheek before he had a chance to get away and said, "So how you doing, kid? Finding mom must've been traumatizing for you."

"How are you so calm?"

"Well with half a bottle of this- " She lifted the left side of her jacket to reveal a flask in the inside pocket. "-Calmness is my middle name."

"Your middle name is Jeanine." Castiel pointed out.

"Ugh, don't remind me, it's almost as bad as my first name." Anna scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Dad's going to see you're drinking and he's going to kill you!"

"He's already killing me." She shifted her gaze away from Castiel and said, "And he's seen far worse shit than this."

"Anna!"

"Let's not pretend that you haven't heard worse." She gave him a pointed look. Castiel wondered how his sister could still be so logical even when she was half-drunk.

At that moment, Inias reappeared at the same time as the doctor came out of the room.

"Mrs. Milton lost a lot of blood and she might not make it."

"Well you have to be able to do something!" Inias glared at the doctor.

Dr. Smith sighed. "We're doing everything we can."

"Well fix her! We're having a child, dammit!" Dr. Smith shifted his gaze downward.

"Guess you're not having that child,  _father._ " Anna rolled her eyes.

"What?" Inias whispered dumbfounded.

"It appears that Mrs. Milton had a miscarriage prior to her suicidal attempt." Upon seeing Inias's shocked expression, Dr. Smith added, "I'll give you some time. If something happens, we'll tell you."

* * *

They were there for the entire day. During the evening, the doctor came to tell the Miltons the news. The look on the doctor's face told Castiel everything he needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You,  
> P.S. Sorry about the late update.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter ten

_March 6th, 2010_

The funeral was set to take a few days later. Anna was in charge of finding suitable clothes for her mother while Inias made funeral arrangements. Castiel was to stay by his father's side,  _of course._  He had almost rolled his eyes at his father's request.  _Men should know how to do this, Castiel. They're the ones who are in charge of making these types of arrangements._ Castiel highly doubted that only men were capable of making funeral arrangements but he remained quietly at his father's side, nonetheless.

While his father was discussing business, Castiel managed to slip out of the room. He tiptoed up the elegant staircase, making sure not to make any noise.

Once he was up the stairs, he walked down the hallway to his parents' bedroom. Upon reaching the room, he heard noises and opened the door.

He wished he hadn't done that. The room was a mess. Clothes littered the floor. There was no space in between them. On one side of the room, the clothes were shredded whereas the clothes on the other side lay in anticipation of their doom. Anna stood in the middle of the room; her own dress ripped on the side.

"Apparently, that woman had a lot of clothes." Anna snorted. Castiel didn't see anything funny.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to find clothes for  _that_  suicidal idiot." Anna took a swig out of her flask. Castiel hadn't even noticed it was in her hand beforehand.

"Anna, father's going to see this and you're going to get in trouble."

"Who the fuck cares anyway,  _Cas_?" Anna took another swig. Castiel took a step closer to her and tried to place his hand on her shoulder. Instead, he flew backward when she pushed him away. Luckily, he managed to gain his balance and didn't actually fall.

"Anna, stop this. It isn't good for you." Why did he feel so much older than he was?

"What would you know what's good for me? Maybe I want to end up an alcoholic like dad." She laughed again and narrowed her eyes. "Better yet, maybe I want to end up like mom. Suicide is just the way to go, isn't it, Cas?"

"Isn't it?" She shouted into his face, repeating her previous question. Castiel knew she wasn't really mad at him because the next second, she burst out crying.

Castiel did the only thing that came to his mind and hugged his sister. He hoped it would make her feel better. It certainly made him feel better when his mother used to hug him; he swallowed down the memory and hugged Anna back.

Once Anna calmed down, she sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall and Castiel sat down next to her, crisscrossing his legs.

"Why'd she have to go and do something like that, huh?" Anna sniffled.

"I guess she wasn't happy."

"None of us are happy-"She whispered. "-That doesn't mean that suicide is the solution, you know that, right?" She looked up at him.

"I-uh-" Before he could answer he, she interrupted him. "Because it isn't, Cas. I was upset, heck still am but that doesn't mean I would do it. Really." She looked up at him again for an answer and once again he felt like the older sibling.

"Okay." Because he didn't know what else he could possibly say.

"We should clean this mess up before father sees this. He might have one of his fits."

She gave him a pointed look and he knew what she was saying even though she hadn't said a word.

"I don't want him to hurt you."

"So you let him hurt you instead." She sighed.

"He already hurt mom, Anna."

"We have to tell someone, Cas."

"Who would believe us, Anna? Especially me? I'm  _just_  a child."

Anna tried to talk about the topic more but Castiel made it clear that he didn't want to talk anymore. So they cleaned up their parents' bedroom and after twenty minutes of rummaging through her mother's closet, Anna found her mother's black dress and jacket. She found the matching shoes at the bottom.

"She always told me that if we had to pick a dress for her, she wanted it to be this one. So  _mom_  of her to want to be pretty, even in death." Anna smiled softly.

* * *

_March 9th, 2010_

The whole event went by quickly; Inias made a few speeches (seeing as the priest refused to come due to religious beliefs), prayers were said and nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

Only when Naomi's coffin was lowered into the ground, the realization hit him. This was it. He wouldn't ever see his mother's face again. Suddenly, he had an urge to jump in with her. Shut the world out completely. He didn't want to be in a world in which his mother didn't exist.

Anna, who up to this moment stood as a silent spectator pulled him close to her side. "It's okay, Cas. It'll be okay." She whispered. Apparently, his sister was way more observant than he gave her credit.

* * *

John came to the wake with Sam and Dean. They both had their school backpacks with them and it occurred to Castiel that it must have been a school day. He'd been so caught up in everything that he had forgotten about school. He doubted his father even noticed that he missed school. It was always his mother who was in charge of those things. He pushed those thoughts aside and went to greet his guests.

When John went to talk to Inias and the other grown-ups in the kitchen, Dean stayed behind. He stood still next to Castiel. After a few seconds of silence, Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. They stood that way for a few seconds and Castiel understood everything Dean was trying to tell him. Dean had lost a mother of his own, after all. He knew what it felt like.

They always knew how to comfort each other. Words were never needed and Castiel was glad for that. He didn't think he could handle a lot of talking.

Sam didn't really understand what was happening but he hugged Castiel anyway, right after Dean had. It made Castiel feel better, even if it was only for a small period of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter eleven

_April 2010_

Time went by. The cold wind turned into a chilly breeze and flowers blossomed. And though cold had turned into warmth, Castiel could not feel the warmth. He felt his mother everywhere he went. He was so goddamn tired of always feeling this way. He wondered if there ever would be a time when he would feel like a normal eleven year old and not like an eighty- year old soul stuck in the body of a kid.

He breezed through school, hardly paying attention in class. He didn't care anymore. And it didn't come as a shock to him when he received a warning about summer school. He really couldn't care less.  _  
_

His father was nowhere to be seen on most days, up and about on business trips. As if nothing had happened. Castiel rarely saw him and on the days he did, he wished he hadn't. Inias usually had a drink or two or  _okay_   five and if Castiel was lucky (and quick), he could escape unscathed. But luck wasn't always on his side.

He didn't see his sister often either. She would usually go to school and then hang out with her friends afterwards. Anna often came home so late that Castiel was on his fifth dream by then.

On top of that, he hadn't seen Dean either. Sure, they hung out at school during lunch. But that was it. They didn't hung out after school or on weekends as often as they had. He wondered if Dean was avoiding him because of his mother or because of  _him_.

* * *

_May 2010_

May rolled around and it grew hotter. Castiel still didn't know why Dean wouldn't hang out with him after school. He decided to handle it in a mature way.

He _cornered_ Dean.

Dean had been taking out his Science textbook and was about to leave but when he shut his locker door, he came face to face with a very concerned-looking Castiel.

"What?" Castiel wondered if it was his imagination or if Dean sounded angry when he said that.

"You've been avoiding me."

"No, I haven't.  _You_ have." Dean shook his head.

"No I haven't.  _You_  have." Castiel repeated.

Dean rolled his eyes and said, "Is there a point to this? I need to go back to class."

"Why don't you want to hang out with me anymore?" Castiel's voice cracked.

"Look, Cas. I thought you didn't want to hang out."

"What?" Castiel croaked.

"Ever since your mother died," Castiel flinched slightly, "- you've been ignoring me. Actually, you've been ignoring  _everything_." Dean looked away.

"I'm so tired, Dean. Why does this keep happening to me?"

"Cas, bad things happen to everyone. And I understand what you're going through. Believe me, I know what it feels like to lose a mother. And I still miss her, I do. But you can't stop living just because your mother isn't anymore." Dean said.

"But I miss her so much." He wiped at his eyes, refusing any tears to let slip. Crying was a sign of weakness and Castiel was not weak.

"I know. But you can't just drop everything, Cas. We're supposed to graduate in a month and if you don't get back on track, you're going to have to go to summer school. And  _you_  don't want that, do you? Imagine the trouble you would get into!" Dean said harshly.

"Oh god, my dad." Castiel's lower lip quivered and before he knew it, he was crying in Dean's arms.

For a few minutes, Dean comforted him by saying soothing words.  _"It'll be okay, it'll be alright."_  Castiel didn't believe him but he let Dean comfort him anyway.

After a few minutes, he calmed down and Dean got him a few tissues. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

"Do you want to come by on Sunday? We're celebrating Sam's birthday." Right, Sam's birthday. How could he have forgotten about it?

"Of course." Castiel smiled at Dean and for the first time in months, it felt real.

* * *

"Welcome back." John greeted him as he came through the door. Sam ran to hug him and Castiel couldn't help but smile.

Dean and Castiel went upstairs and worked on their homework while Sam played with his toys. Dean had promised that he would help Castiel catch up on his work so he wouldn't get left behind.

When they were finished with homework, they decided to play some video games. And even though Castiel was out of practice, he had managed to win two out of the three games. He was about to defeat Dean in the third one when John called them to dinner.

Dean complained the whole way downstairs and kept saying how great of a player was when Castiel told him that his usual adversary was a seven-year old, to which Sam yelled, "Hey!" Dean laughed and tried to ruffle Sam's hair but Sam waved his hand away.

"So where are Sam's friends?" Castiel asked looking around the empty kitchen.

"Oh it's just family today. Sam is going to go to some kid party place with his friends next week."

"You're not going?" Castiel asked curiously as they sat down.

"No, there'll be enough adults there," Castiel laughed. " – And anyway, I did promise you that I would help you with your schoolwork." Castiel's laugh turned into a frown.

"C'mon, Cas, it won't be bad. You can come over for a sleepover!" Dean smiled at him.

"Okay." Castiel smiled back. Who could say no to Dean when he was so excited?

* * *

 _June 25_ _th_ _2010_

Castiel still couldn't believe he had made it. All of the hard work had  _actually_  paid off. Dean kept his promise and Castiel was now sitting in the auditorium waiting for his name to be called.

Unfortunately, he wasn't sitting next to Dean, due to alphabetical order and was sandwiched between the two twins, Raphael and Michael. He tried not to think of what the name meant to him. It mostly worked for him. However, that didn't mean he could stop the arguing between the twins. The no-talking rule  _obviously_ didn't apply to them. He could've sworn that he saw his friend, Alfred, who was sitting on the other side of Michael mouth, 'help me.'

As he walked up the stage, he knew that it was not supposed to hurt but somehow it still did. Having at least one parent (albeit a half-drunk one) is better than no parent at his graduation.

He was surprised when he got up on the stage. He heard his name accompanied by a whistle and clapping. He turned around and saw his sister sitting next to John and Sam. At least his sister was there.

After he received his diploma, he went back to his seat and waited for the rest of the names to be called. Why couldn't Dean's last name start with something other than W?

After listening to many names and almost falling asleep, he finally heard Dean being called up. He heard John, Sam and even Anna cheer loudly and joined them.

Later Anna greeted him with a hug and a 'congratulations'.

"You came." Castiel said surprised.

"Course I did. Couldn't miss the little twerp's graduation." She pinched his cheek and said, "Now let's go celebrate."

They all went out to a diner. Dean, Ash, Alfie, Castiel, Sam, John, and even Anna. John allowed them to order whatever they wanted. For the first time in months, Castiel felt truly happy. In the coming months, he would wish that the feeling had stayed with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank You.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter twelve

_August 2010_

Summer went by quickly. Neither Dean nor Cas had noticed, for they were too engrossed in their daily activities and plans. They took turns coming over to each other’s houses. Most days, Sam would tag along and, though Dean complained, Cas knew it was just for show. Other times, Ash and Alfie would come over and they would all head to the park.

One time, Bobby had invited John for a hunting trip and Dean had begged and begged his father to let him come and his father eventually caved in. And since John took Dean, he had no choice but to take Sam and Cas as well.

They had a great time at Bobby and Karen’s house. All three boys learned a lot and had plenty of fun. They did not want to go home but they knew they had to; school was going to start soon and deep down, they knew that they had to go. It was time to come back to reality.

_October 2010_

Though school had started only a month ago, it felt more like a year had passed. Both Cas and Dean were swarmed by homework and rarely had the time to hang out. Furthermore, Dean decided that he wanted to try out for the swim team and spent most of his Saturdays in the water at the school pool.  

Dean and Cas hung out when they could. Although it didn’t seem like a lot of time, it was enough for them. They enjoyed each other’s company. Though they were sad not to have a lot of time together, they knew that it wasn’t the worst possible scenario. And due to their naïveté and their high hopes that everything would be okay, they weren’t prepared for what came in the next chapter of their lives. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Please review. I am very sorry for the late update and for the short chapter. I hope that you will enjoy this chapter and I will try to write and update the next one as soon as possible.  
> Thank You,


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter thirteen

_November 10th 2010_

Another month had passed and Thanksgiving was right around the corner. Cas and Dean couldn’t wait for the holiday to come so that they could sleep in and blow off homework until the last second.

Castiel continued excelling in his homework, hoping to one day get into the honors program and Dean waited with bated breath to find out if he had made the team. Things seemed to be fine until everything changed for the worse.

One a Wednesday, Castiel came home from school and entered the living room. Upon seeing Inias on the couch, harboring what appeared to be his third drink of bourbon, he realized it was a bad time. This was not an unusual occurrence, as Castiel had not seen his father without a drink in his hand for the past year. The fact that he was drunk in the afternoon and home was what was so unusual.

Castiel knew it was strange for an eleven-year old to be able to differentiate between alcoholic beverages but he also supposed that nothing was really normal in his family. After encountering his father drunk one too many times, he had learned to recognize the drunken look. Thinking that his father hadn’t noticed him, Castiel decided to sneak away upstairs.

“Where are you going, young man?” Inias said.

“I’m going to do my homework, father.” Castiel said, tapping his fingers anxiously against his pant leg.

“It’s always homework with you, isn’t it? Don’t you have any friends?” Inias snarled.

“Yes, I do. You would’ve remembered them had you not been drinking the day they came over.” Cas said.

“Don’t talk back, smartass.” Inias bared his teeth and raised his fist. Castiel recoiled. Thankfully, Anna came in at that moment.

“Don’t you dare touch him, you poor excuse of a human being.” Anna yelled.

With his hand still shaped in a fist, Inias turned around and was about to strike her when Castiel stepped in between them.

“Always the protector, aren’t you? Too bad you couldn’t save your mother. She was going to have a real son, a real man.”

Castiel's blood ran cold. He couldn't be in the same room as that man for another second. He was tired of his father always saying stuff like that. So what if he liked reading and cooking and sometimes enjoyed singing? He didn't think that it made him any less of a boy. But whenever his father started to say stuff like that, he started doubting his beliefs. He turned on his heel and ran away up the stairs. He went into his room and slammed the door. Within a few seconds, a knock came, interrupting his thoughts.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked, standing at the doorway.

“Packing.” Castiel said.

“Where are you going?” Anna asked him calmly. That was why he loved his sister. She never thought any of his plans or ideas were crazy or out of reach and she always listened, no matter what.

“Dean’s probably. Where else?” Castiel said as he folded his shirts.

“ _Where else_?” Anna repeated, as if she knew something Castiel did not. Castiel turned and saw her smirking but had also noticed the concern in her eyes. 

Castiel sighed. “You can leave with me too.”

Anna bit her fingernail. “I don’t know, Cassie, we could get in a lot of trouble.”

“Do you really think dad would notice? He’s drunk most of the time.” Cas said as he folded up his sweatpants. “And don’t call me, Cassie.”

“Don’t worry sweet cheeks.” Anna went to pinch his cheek like she had done all those years ago but he waved her arm away in time.

“Don’t call me that either.”

“I’m only messing with you, kid.” Anna sighed. “Alright, let’s do it. I’ll go pack my bags.”

Twenty minutes later, both of the Milton children were packed and ready to leave their house. Once they were downstairs, Inias turned and looked at them questioningly.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Inias narrowed his eyes.

“On a vacation.” Anna rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be a wisecrack.” Inias said.

“I’m just taking after my  _wonderful_  father.” Anna said sweetly.

Inias noticed that Castiel was going down the stairs with his own suitcase.

“Oh look and you’re taking your little  _sister_  with you.” Inias sneered.

“Oh look, who is that drunk stranger in our house? Do you recognize him, Anna? I think we should call the cops on him.” Castiel replied back.

Anna banged her fist against the T.V. screen and everyone turned their attention to her. “That is enough. I am tired of all of this,  _dad._  Castiel is my brother and if you ever say something mean or taunting again, god help me, you will never ever see another living day.”

Inias opened his mouth to say something but before he could, Anna interrupted him and said, “And to answer your question, we are leaving, good luck trying to find a family that actually cares about you. C'mon, Cas, let's go. ”

And with that, both Milton children raced out the door before their father could say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review.  
> P.S. If anyone is interested, I am still looking for a beta reader.  
> Thank You,


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story.
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter fourteen

_November 10th 2010 (continuation)_

A knock at the door woke John out of his dream. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. It read 10:45 PM. He sighed as he got up from his bed. As he walked down the hallway, he wondered who it was that came knocking so late in the evening.

He took a peek into Sam's room to make sure that his son was sleeping and that he hadn't stayed up reading as he tended to do. He smiled as he saw his son was sleeping contentedly.

After he opened the door, he was met with identical frightened expressions on both of the Milton children, each holding a duffel bag in hand.

He sighed again and motioned for them to come in. "Alright, what happened?"

Anna pushed past Castiel and went to sit down on the couch. Castiel seemed to be dazed for a few seconds but then followed suit and sat next to his sister.

"We've decided to leave home." Anna said calmly.

"Jesus Christ-" John rubbed his eyes again and said, "Mind repeating that again?"

"My sister and I have left our house." Castiel clarified.

"Jesus... it is way too late for this conversation. How about you sleep over and tell me the whole story tomorrow? That sound good to you?" John shifted his gaze from Anna to Castiel.

They both nodded in agreement.

"Alright I'll be back with pillows and blankets." John got up and went to fetch some blankets from the linen closet.

Castiel and Anna sat in silence for a few minutes before they heard a squeaking noise coming from the stairs. Castiel turned his head toward the noise source and was met with green eyes staring back at him.

"Cas?" Dean said in a gravelly voice from the top of the stairs.

"Hello Dean." Castiel said as a tiny smile appeared on his face.

"What are you doing here?" As he said that, he shifted his gaze and raised his eyebrows when he noticed Anna was there as well.

Before Castiel could say anything, John came back bearing several blankets and pillows. "I hope you're okay with these.. they're a bit old but you know I couldn't really find it in me to throw them – " John turned his head to see what Castiel was looking at.

"Dean? I thought you were going to sleep." John said, his voice on the stern side.

"I was- I finished my homework and was going to go to sleep but then I heard them." Dean stopped talking for a few seconds, as if to collect his own thoughts. "Why are they here?"

"Dean, we'll talk about this tomorrow."

"But Dad." Dean whined.

"Dean." John didn't need any more words to tell his elder son to back off; his strict expression shut Dean's inquiries up quickly.

Shortly after Dean said goodnight, John pulled out the couch for Castiel and Anna and helped them settle in for the night.

"Do you think we'll be okay?" Anna whispered a few seconds after John had bid them a good night and retired to his bedroom.

"I think so." Castiel sighed and then added, "Yes I believe we will be."

Oh how wrong he turned out to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello. First of all, I would like to apologize for not updating this story regularly. Finals are finally over and I should be able to update this story on a regular basis. Secondly, I have not abandoned this story. I do have it planned out and will continue writing and updating it. Also, please review. Feedback motivates me to write more. 
> 
> Thank You, 
> 
> P.S. 
> 
> I am still looking for a beta reader. If anyone is interested, please message me.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter fifteen

_November 11 th 2010 8:00 AM._

The next morning found both Milton children sitting at the kitchen table at eight in the morning. Though Anna and Castiel’s personalities were as different as the moon and sun, anybody could see that they were related. For one thing, they wore the same identical annoyed expressions when woken up early in the morning. For another, they ate their cereal the same way.

John smirked when he looked at them and saw that both Castiel and Anna frowning at their breakfast. He knew it wasn’t the time to laugh but he couldn’t help smile at the one good thing he had witnessed since the whole mess had begun the night before.

They still hadn’t discussed what they were going to do. He feared to think what was going to happen to the Milton children, whom he loved almost as much as his own kids.

Speaking of his kids, Dean strolled into the kitchen in his pajamas, hair tousled and feet bare. As he went to get some milk out of the refrigerator, he did not even glance up from the floor to check his surroundings.

“Dean, we’ve talked about this. Where are your slippers?” John said sternly.

“Huh?” Dean sleepily grumbled while pouring milk into his bowl.

John shook his head, ruffled his son’s hair and said, “Where’s your brother?”

“Probably still sleeping.” Dean said, as he made sure the cereal was soggy before he ate it. “Little dork likes to read, wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed up again.”

“Alright, I’ll go wake him up. You guys finish your breakfast.” It seemed that at the word, “guys,” Dean finally woke up and realized he was not the only one at the kitchen table.

He blinked a few times as if he was trying to remember what had happened the night before.

Dean did not know where to begin. “So…”

“I am assuming you want to know what happened.” Dean nodded in response.

“We have decided to leave home.” Castiel said as he finished his breakfast.

“What do you mean  _decided_?” Dean questioned, “You can’t just decide, you guys are still kids, you can’t leave your house.” He couldn't imagine where he would go if he decided to leave his house. For one thing, Dean was certain that John would kill him or Sam if they ever decided to run away. He remembered how angry his father had been when he had run away to the Miltons a few years ago. Dean couldn't believe that he now considered those to be happier times. He pushed that thought away.

“That is precisely what we are going to discuss today.” John said as he walked back into the room, followed by Sam, who sleepily mumbled, a “Morning” and went about finding a bowl for himself.

“What?” Castiel huffed.

“Did you really think we could stay here, doofus?” Anna rolled her eyes.

Castiel got up from the stool and went to put the dirty bowl in the dishwasher. When he returned to the table, he turned to John and said, “So what do you suggest?”

“I am assuming Inias was not too happy with either of you for running away.” Both Anna and Castiel nodded. “So I think it’s best for you to treat this as a regular day and after school, we will discuss options. Both of you should go and get dressed for school.”

Once both Anna and Castiel were out of earshot, Dean whispered hoarsely, “Options? Why do we have to discuss options?”

“Dean, you do realize that they can’t stay here forever.” When Dean did not say anything, John tentatively placed his arm on Dean’s shoulder, “Dean.”

Dean shrugged the hand off and stormed out of the kitchen. John sighed and took a sip of his coffee. He cursed under his breath when he realized that it had gotten cold.

“Daddy, you’re not supposed to curse.”

“I know, Sammy.” John ruffled Sam’s hair and said, “I’ve just had a rough day.”

“Don’t worry, dad, Dean can’t stay mad forever.”

John snorted. “Oh yeah, how do you figure?”

“Well, one time we had this fight and Dean was really mad at me and said he wasn’t going to talk to me. But then a few minutes later, he started talking again.”

“I hope you’re right, kiddo.” John said as he finished his re-heated cup of coffee and went to get ready for the long day ahead. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Please review. Thank You,  
> P.S. I am still looking for a beta reader.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter sixteen

 _November 11_ _ th _ _2010 3:00 PM_

“I know you’re in there. You can’t hide from me forever.” Inias shouted from outside. A few people had gathered around the street trying to figure out what was going on.

The threats had started right after they had gotten back from school about an hour ago. Trust Inias Milton to know when his kids were supposed to come back from school but never actually pick them up.

“We can’t stay in here forever.” Castiel whispered. They were sitting on the floor of Dean's bedroom. 

When they came home and Inias started shouting threats, Dean had claimed that they should stay in his room because it was the farthest room from the entrance to the house and if Inias were to break in, it would buy them some time to escape. 

“Yeah? Then what do you suggest we do?” Anna snapped back.

“I don’t know but we can’t stay in here forever. Father will find us eventually.” Castiel retorted. 

“Father? You’re still calling that scumbag asshole a father?” Anna said as she crossed her arms. “He is nothing but a fucking loser.”

Although Castiel had heard worse words before, he still flinched. He did not have time to answer back though because at the same time, they heard Inias shout, “It doesn’t matter how long you hide in there. I'm going to find you and when I do, you're both going to be dead.”

“Any suggestions, now?” Anna asked from her seat on the floor. 

“I don’t know, Anna.” Castiel shook his head. “I don’t know, I don’t know. Why does this keep- ” He let out a shaky breath.

Anna got up from her seat near the closet and went to sit next to Castiel. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in. “Hey, it’s okay.”

He knew his sister was just trying to help him but he couldn’t even smile back. What did he do to deserve to have the same stuff happen to him again and again? He was only a freaking kid. He wasn’t supposed to face problems like this, he knew that most kids his age certainly did not face these issues. It wasn’t fair and he knew he shouldn’t have thought it but sometimes he  _hated_  those kids. The kids who got everything but still complained about their parents. Sometimes, he wanted to see what they would do if they were in his place.

“I just called my dad.” Dean announced as he entered the room. “He said he’s going to call the police and that he’s going to be here soon.”

Dean locked the door and went to sit next to Anna and Castiel. He got as close as he could to Castiel and laid a comforting hand on his arm.

Sitting between Dean and Anna calmed Castiel for a while, right up until they heard the sirens outside of the house. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review.  
> Thank You,  
> P.S. Thanks to the help of my beta, jmcarthy, I have gone back and revised the chapters. Due to my summer job, I am busy and cannot work on this story everyday. I will try my best to post a new chapter every Friday.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter seventeen

_November 11 th 2010 4:00 PM _

John arrived shortly after the policemen had arrested Inias for disturbing the peace. Thankfully, the group of people who were previously hanging around his house had cleared up and he could safely walk into his house. 

“Where’s Sammy?” Dean said immediately upon seeing his dad walk into his bedroom.

“He’s at Bobby. He shouldn’t –” John hesitated and there was a long pause before he continued. “He shouldn’t hear this. He’s too small.”

Dean nodded in agreement. He agreed, though he himself was only twelve years old, he had seen a lot and knew quite a lot more than the average kid should have known. He didn’t want Sam to be the same way. He wanted his baby brother to have his innocence, at least for the next few years. 

John noticed Anna and Castiel sitting next to Dean. “Can I please have a talk with my son in private for a few minutes?”

“Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of them.” Dean protested.

“ _Dean_.” John narrowed his eyes and gave his son a pointed look.

Dean seemed to understood because he then whispered something in Castiel’s voice ( it sounded like, “It’s going to be okay, just a few minutes”) and then Castiel and Anna left Dean’s bedroom.

John went to sit down on Dean’s bed but before he could, he had to mov Dean's pile of clothes to the side. And good thing, he had noticed the open bag of chips before sitting down. After this mess, he was going to have to talk with his boys about cleaning after their messes.

Sometimes, John really missed Mary. She always had an answer for everything. 

“What are we going to do?” Dean asked worriedly, looking up at his dad.

John sighed. “You know Dean, you were right.”

“About what?” Dean asked curiously.

“We should’ve done something a long time ago about the douchebag that is Inias.”

“Yeah but you said we couldn’t take him down.”

“Yeah, well I met someone. I think.. no I know, they can help us.”

Dean wondered what kind of magical powers this person contained that they managed to convince his father that it was possible to take down Inias Milton.

* * *

 

It turned out that the mysterious person whom John had talked about did not have magical powers. In fact, Dean wished someone would give the woman magical powers so that they would help her appear a little less weird.

Ash’s aunt, Ellen strolled into the Winchester house in a matching dress shirt and skirt. She had the same rollers in her hair the day she had picked up Ash. Dean wondered if it really took women that long to curl their hair.

But when he looked down, he forgot all about the curlers and _just_ had to ask what was up with her shoes. They were slippers, the kind that had bunny ears and were often paired with pajamas.

Dean hoped that this woman wasn’t totally nuts and that they could trust his dad's judgment.

“Dean, this is Ellen, she’s Bobby friend. She’s here to help us.” Ellen moved her hand forward and it was a few seconds before Dean realized that she was waiting for him to shake it.

“I know who you are. You’re Ash’s aunt.” Dean said abruptly as he shook her hand.

“Well I’ve already gotten a reputation, haven’t I?” Ellen laughed. After a few second of silence, “I saw you looking at my slippers, they help me think.”

Dean nodded as if he understood and then left to go talk to Castiel and Anna.

After questioning the Winchester family and the Milton children, Ellen said good-bye and left with a reassuring smile that everything would be alright. 

Dean sure hoped so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review. Thank you,


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter eighteen

_November 2010_

The trial was set to take place a few days before Christmas. Dean hoped it would be a fast one and that the scumbag that was Inias Milton got what he deserved. Actually, Dean hoped he got a lot more than what he deserved. As the days dragged on, Dean couldn’t help feel more anxious. If he was feeling this way, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Castiel was feeling.

With the help of their friends, Dean had tried cheering up Castiel but to no avail. Neither boy could ignore the rumors, the whispers, and the curious looks that Castiel often received in the school hallways.

At least they weren’t in high school. Since Anna and Castiel were staying at the Winchester house for the time being, Dean had heard interesting stories from Anna about what kids were saying in her school. One girl had said that Anna and Castiel deserved the abuse because quote unquote, “they were _like so_ weird.” Anna had punched the girl (well bitch in her words) and Dean couldn’t have agreed more with her action.

One night, Dean snuck into Sam and Cas’s room. He shook Castiel several times before Castiel finally woke up.

“Whaa’s going on?” Castiel said as he yawned.

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.” Dean said as he sat on Castiel’s roll-up bed. Anna had gotten the inflatable bed and since she was the oldest and the only girl, she got to stay in the basement. Dean had to resist rolling his eyes when she had said that; she wasn’t any more a girl than he or Cas or Sam was. If anything, she was even more boyish than the three of them combined.

Dean knew that Sam enjoyed Disney princess movies and he sure was going to use that as blackmail when they were going to be older.

“Dean, it’s like one in the morning. What is so urgent that we can’t talk about it in the morning?” Castiel huffed.

“Do you know what’s going to happen after the trials?” Dean said tentatively.

There was a pause before, “Dean, maybe we should talk about this in the morning.”

“You’re starting to sound like my dad, what’s wrong, Cas?” Dean said putting his hand on Castiel’s arm comfortingly.

“Dean, I… me and Anna..Anna and I..- ”

Dean interrupted and said, “What, what is it?”

“We talked about this with Ellen and she-” Castiel hesitated again.

“Cas, spit it out, we don’t have all night.”

“May I remind we don’t have all night because you decided to wake up and then go bother me?” Dean brushed off Castiel’s sarcastic remark and waited for the rest of Castiel’s statement.

“Ellen talked with us and she said that if everything goes as planned, most likely a foster family is going to adopt us.”

“What foster family? Why can’t you stay with us?” Dean asked quietly.

Suddenly he felt so small.

“Dean, we can’t stay with you guys.”

“Why not? You don’t like the rules? Or you don’t like Sammy? Or what, you don’t like me?” Dean whispered-shout. “What did we do wrong?”

“Nothing, Dean. I wish my sister and I could stay but it is not possible for your dad to raise four children all at once without any financial or emotional support.”

“Oh so it’s because we’re poor, isn’t?” Dean pulled his arm away from Castiel and moved as far away from Castiel as he possibly could.

“Dean, you have been a great friend and me and Anna will always be grateful but we just can’t stay here.”

Apparently that wasn’t good enough for Dean and he kept ranting. “Oh, right, you said it’s the emotional support. I mean of course, I should have know, I don’t have a mom, so obviously we can’t be a foster family. Well maybe you’ve forgotten but you don’t have one either. Or did your asshat of father beat you so hard that it escaped your memory?”

That was obviously the last straw. For someone who usually wasn’t so violent, Castiel was quite strong. He pushed Dean out of his bed as he hard as he could and then punched him in the face.

“Don’t ever talk about my family that way!” Castiel said angrily before punching Dean another time.

Dean pulled Castiel down with him and tackled him. Then he punched him back. The boys continued to fight for a few minutes, right before they smacked into the bed, which pushed into the wall and made a loud bang.

Within a few seconds, John barged in the room and said, “What the hell is going on here?”

“Nothing.” Both boys muttered. Then they glared at each other for saying the same thing at the same time.

* * *

 

John took both boys to the kitchen to get them ice packs. Castiel and Dean sat on different sides of the kitchen, refusing to look at one another.

“Now I don’t know what was going on and I don’t really care. We already have more problems than we should. Whatever it is that you guys were fighting over, I’ll let you figure it out on your own. I’m just warning you that this better be the last time I see either one of you awake past curfew hours and fighting with each other in my house. And don’t forget that you could have woken up Sammy.”

With that John left to go back to sleep leaving the two boys alone.  
  
After a few minutes, Castiel put his ice pack back into the freezer and then went up back to sleep.

Dean waited a few minutes before doing the same thing. That night, both boys fell asleep with one thought: they didn’t have a best friend anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review.  
> Thank you,


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer 1: I do not own Supernatural and am not making money by writing this story  
> Disclaimer 2: The title is from the song, Chasing Cars and I am not making money by using it as the title of my fanfic.

Chapter nineteen

_Early December 2010_

Castiel had been giving Dean the cold shoulder for more than a week and with the trial being this close, Dean was starting to get worried. Castiel hadn’t been mad at him for so long. He usually forgot about the silent treatment after a few minutes, sometimes even minutes. But this time, nothing happened; Castiel was still ignoring him.  
  
Deep down, Dean knew that what he had said was wrong. He knew that he had hurt Castiel in more ways than one. But sometimes, Dean didn’t think and he spoke or acted before thinking through the consequences. He had just been really worried about Castiel and wanted answers. Sue him, he was only a kid. A kid, who of course knew too much and acted quite often like an adult.

Dean knew the only way to get Castiel to be his friend was to get him to talk him and to apologize. And it shouldn’t have been hard seeing as the Milton children were living under the same roof as the Winchesters.

But it was. Castiel kept avoiding him like the plague. He made sure to wake up earlier so he could eat when Dean and the others were still sleeping. And whenever John was able to drop them off at school before going to work, Castiel would sit on the far end of the car and stare out the window the whole way there.

Plus, Castiel would always make sure to talk to each person in the car, except for Dean. He would even avoid looking at him.

So of course Dean wanted that to stop. However, he couldn’t find a way to apologize since Castiel kept avoiding him all the time.

* * *

 _December 20 th 2010 _(Day of the trail)

It was the day of the trial and the tension could be felt miles away from the Winchester house.

Castiel and Anna had special permission to be off from school for testifying at court. Since Dean was to be a witness and Sam didn’t want to be the only kid in the household to go to school, John decided to bend the rules and let Sam stay home.

Surprisingly, the day had begun as any normal day could. Dean woke up around 7:30, took a shower, and got dressed. Then he went to wake up Sam and after fifteen minutes of arguing with his brother and finally getting through with him, Dean went downstairs to eat some cereal.

The others woke up a bit later. When they were done getting ready, they all went downstairs to eat breakfast. All but one.

* * *

Castiel was not at the kitchen table for breakfast and he had not come downstairs ever since.He was nowhere to be seen and it was almost 1:00 P.M. The trial was to set to be at 3:00 P.M. If they wanted to make it on time and have a few minutes to prep before the beginning, they had to get going soon.

John thought that Castiel was probably hiding up in the room he shared with Sam and decided that it was best to send Dean to talk with him. Of course, John did not know that Dean and Castiel were still in a dispute over what had happened a few weeks ago and Dean didn’t really want to tell him. He knew he would get a smack up his head for being so idiotic.  His father might have been caring and had gotten really better ever since the “never-to-talk-about” incident but he still did not tolerate childish and silly behavior.

So of course Dean had no option but to comply and go upstairs. He knocked on the door but did not hear an answer. He pushed the door open and was surprised that it was not locked. After walking in the room, he glanced to the left side of the room and saw Castiel sitting on the bed holding the suit he was supposed to be wearing to court. He kept at it looking like it was an enigma that one could never solve.

Dean sauntered over and sat on Castiel’s bed. As he sat, he wondered where to begin, He didn’t even know what to say.

“You know-” Dean began and Castiel had looked up so quickly that made it seem like he hadn’t even known that Dean was in the room to begin with. But Dean knew his best friend better than.

“What?” Castiel said abruptly and then looked back down at the suit in his hands.

Dean sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. But is anything ever easy?

“I was going to make a joke about not looking at your suit but actually wearing it.” Dean laughed nervously as he ran a hand through his hair. “But then I realized that that wouldn’t be very nice considering the day.”

“ _That_ would be mean?” Castiel said raising his eyebrows. Dean knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Look Cas-” Dean started but then Castiel said, “Don’t call me that, you don’t get the right.”

Dean glared but composed himself quickly. “Fine, Castiel, I’m sorry about what I said. It was wrong and stupid of me.”

“You bet it was,” Castiel said and Dean could see the beginnings of a smile forming. Dean knew that he wasn’t forgiven. Not yet but it was a good start.

Dean got up from the bed and stretched his hands. “So how about you put on that suit and go downstairs? Everyone’s waiting for you.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Something dark and unreadable clouded over Castiel’s face. The smile was gone. “You think it’s that easy?”

“Uhh..no?” It seemed more like a question than an answer.

Castiel looked out the window. It was raining and a droplet of rain had just rolled down the window. “He’s my father, Dean.”

“I know,” Dean said softly and went to sit back down on the couch.

“I know I should be mad with him and I am, I’m so angry.” Castiel said and then looked back at Dean.

Dean nodded. “That’s good, Cas, you _should_ feel mad. What he did was never okay.”

“But-” Castiel hesitated. “- at the same time, I still can’t forget about him being my father.” A few tears welled up in his eyes but he managed to blink them back, hoping Dean hadn’t seen.

Dean had noticed anyway.

“I know Cas, I know,” Dean said softly and pulled his friend into a hug. They stayed like that for a few seconds.

Then Dean said, “But Cas, do you really want him to win?”

Castiel looked up, shook his head and said, “No.”

“Then let’s go kick that asshat’s butt.” 

This time the smile was real.

* * *

_December 20 th 2010 (After the trial)_

Inias Milton was guilty. Inias Milton was guilty. Inias Milton was- Castiel could still not believe it as he looked out the window of the impala as they drove away from the courthouse. He could still hear the judge’s decision loud and clear in his head.

If Castiel were a bird, he would certainly feel like flying. But Castiel was not a bird and unfortunately that meant he had to travel by the car.

Once the trail was over and things had settled down, John promised them that they would buy some ice cream and order a few pizzas. Therefore, they were now going to the nearest ice cream store.

* * *

Castiel was sure that he had gained at least ten pounds today. He didn’t remember eating so much ice cream and pizza in one day ever.

As he laid on the couch, he rubbed his stomach as he sighed contentedly and finally understood why Winnie-the-Pooh always ate so much honey. He couldn’t though, for the life of him understand what the fictional character did after eating so much deliciousness.

Once the excitement of the day was over, Castiel began to worry and evidently he was showing his emotions on his face because Dean who was laying on the other side of the couch said, “What’s wrong?”

“We won, Dean, we won,” Castiel said as if he could still not believe it. And truthfully, he really couldn’t. He was still waiting to wake up and to find out that it had all been a dream.

“I know, I was there.”  Dean rolled his eyes but didn’t even bother getting up. Castiel wondered how much his friend had eaten. He knew Dean had a knack for eating a lot of junk food.

“You do know what that means?” Castiel asked cautiously shifting his gaze so he could make eye contact with Dean.

“I know,” Dean said simply. John had explained to Dean and Sam that if everything was to go as planned, the foster family wanted to pick up Castiel and Anna before Christmas so that they could celebrate the holiday as a family and get used to one another. That meant that they only had a few days left together.

At first, Dean had been upset with his father and had yelled at him. But then he realized that it wasn’t really up to his dad to decide. Also deep down, he knew it would be better for Castiel and Anna to stay with a foster family that could take care of them and provide them support.

“Dean, what if we won’t see each other again?”

Dean sighed. “It’ll be alright, we can write letters and emails and I’m pretty sure I can get my dad to cave and get me a cell-might be one of those old ones but still.”

“Sure he will- ” Castiel laughed mockingly and Dean glared at him, if only for a second and then said, “We’ll visit and you can come visit us here. You could even bring Anna with you but don’t tell her I said that.”

Castiel laughed again but this time it was genuine and said, “Okay I won’t.”

* * *

_December 23rd 2010_

The day had come. All of their stuff was packed and they were ready to go. John was driving them to the halfway meeting point he and the foster parents had agreed on.

No matter how much he would beg, Dean knew that his dad wouldn’t let him and Sam go with them. It was stressful enough and John did not want to add more stress to the situation for Castiel or Anna.

So since Dean wasn’t going with them, Dean pulled Castiel over to the side before Castiel managed to get into the car.

“What?” Castiel huffed and rubbed his arm as he glared at Dean for taking him away from the conversation he was having with his sister.

Dean shifted his gaze around nervously. Then he dug in his pocket and took out the bracelet that he had made. He shoved it onto Castiel’s arm.

“Here, this is for you.”

Castiel momentarily looked confused but then his eyes lit up. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean shrugged. “It’s no big deal, Sam helped me make it.”

Castiel pulled the string of the bracelet from one side to another. “It’s still nice.”

Dean shrugged again, not sure what to say. “So…?”

“So…” Castiel retorted back. Apparently, Dean wasn’t the only one who was having trouble with words.

A few seconds passed and then Dean said, “Well have a good trip.” He patted Castiel’s arm and started to walk away.

Once he was near the stairs that lead to the front porch of his house, he heard Castiel call his name. He turned around and saw Castiel walking to him.

Suddenly he was pulled in for a hug.  Within seconds, he was hugging back. Then, Castiel was pulling back.

“Sorry,” Castiel muttered.

“For what?” Dean was confused.

“You said that I couldn’t hug you anymore,” Castiel said. 

All of a sudden, Dean remembered the conversation that he had with Castiel almost a year ago. He hadn’t even thought of it being important. Dean remembered feeling embarrassed that Castiel was still hugging him in school but he didn’t think that it had actually impacted Castiel. 

“Cas, that was almost a year ago,” Dean chuckled and then added, “I forgot all about that.”

“Oh,” Castiel said softly.

“I was being an idiot, I shouldn’t have said that to you.”

“Yeah you were,” Castiel laughed and Dean smiled back.

Castiel heard Anna calling him back to the car. “Well we have to go.”

“Okay,” Dean shifted his gaze downward and shoved his hands back into his pockets.

“Dean?” Dean looked up to catch Castiel’s gaze.

“Yeah?” Dean asked. Suddenly, he wished he could be anywhere else but here.

“It’ll be okay, we’ll visit each other," Castiel said. “I’ll make sure that they let me visit and I’ll get Anna to help me and- and before you know it, I’ll be back and we’ll be able to chase cars again.”

“Cas,” Dean said interrupting Castiel’s rambling.

Castiel looked up and said, “Yes?”

“Don’t make promises you cant keep,” Dean said rather harshly.

"I wasn’t-" Before Castiel could say anything, Dean butted in, and said, “Cas, I learned a long time ago that promises can’t always kept.”

Castiel didn’t say anything, didn’t even think it over. He just said, “Alright” and that was one of the reasons Dean loved having Castiel as a friend. He didn’t question every little detail like so many people did.

They heard John calling Castiel’s name and signaling him to come back to the car.

“I better go,” Castiel said.

“Have a nice trip,” Dean said and then walked back to the front porch.

Dean sat down on one of the old armchairs that they still kept after the fire and looked on as he saw his dad shoved the remains of Castiel’s and Anna’s luggage into the trunk. 

Castiel and Anna waved goodbye to Dean as they drove out of the driveway.  As they drove farther and farther away, Castiel became smaller and smaller and within seconds, Dean could not see him anymore. For a few seconds it felt like both Castiel and Anna had disappeared from existence. But then that was stupid. 

 Dean shook his head at his weird thoughts as he got up from the chair, walked inside his house and then slammed the door closed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review.  
> Thank you,  
> P.S. Sorry for the late update.


	20. Chapter 20

_Four years later (Tuesday, September 16th, 2014)_

“Hey, you going to that party Friday night?” The boy with the long blonde hair said as he slid into the seat next to his friend.

The other boy, who was previously finishing his homework glanced up from his paper and said, “Nah don’t think so. Dad wants to go to the movies with me and Sammy. Says he wants to spend some quality time with us,  _whatever_  that means.”

“Did he say anything about you spending time with me instead? I mean have you looked at all this?” The boy gestured to himself. “Why wouldn’t someone want to hang out with me?”

His friend rolled his eyes. “You’re not that great.”

“ _Dean_.” Asher said, giving Dean a pointed look.

“ _Ash_.” Dean retorted back, smirking.

“You have to go to that party.” Asher said that as if it was a necessity and if Dean wouldn’t go, then the only plausible explanation would be that Dean was preparing for the Apocalypse. And knowing Asher’s plans and all of their crazy adventures (which didn't always end so well), sometimes Dean wished he was preparing for the Apocalypse instead.

“I don’t have to anything.” Dean said, sighing. “Did you finish your homework? This shit’s killing me and it’s worth like 40 % our grade. Like what kind of teacher makes homework worth 40 %?" 

“The evil kind.” Dean laughed.

Asher knelt down and got out a folder from his backpack that was under his desk. The folder was so fat, the bindings were already tearing up and the first month of school hadn’t even passed yet.

A few papers almost fell out of the folder. Dean was sure that Asher used the folder for all of his subjects and he sometimes wondered how his friend managed to stay so on top of his classes.

“You’re in luck, friend, I did finish my homework and you can take a look at it but only if -”Asher took the folder out of Dean’s reach and said, “- you agree to go to that party.”

Dean huffed. “Fine, I’ll ask my dad if I can skip movie night.” Asher gave him his math homework.

“Yes!” Asher put his fist in the air in triumphant.

Dean rolled his eyes as he compared their answers. He sighed as he noticed that a lot of his answers didn’t match with Asher’s and he knew whose answers were right. He really hated Trigonometry. He hated himself more for pushing himself so much last year that he did so well in his previous class that his teacher recommended him for the accelerated math program.

“Oh don’t huff, I’ll ask Alfie and Theo to come with us.” Asher said. “Plus I don’t really know about you but I really need to get some.”

Dean pulled at his hair. “What I need to get is some sleep so that I can start studying for this test and be ready for my meet Thursday.” Dean tried to stifle a yawn but to no avail. He covered his mouth as he yawned and then said, “Plus we should probably start studying for the SAT.”

“Dude, that’s like a year away and the PSAT was enough brain exercise for me. I’m not worried.”

“Yeah with your brain, I wouldn’t be worried.” Dean muttered under his breath.

Asher didn’t say anything back and Dean would never know if it was because he had actually managed to shut up his friend for a few seconds (a previously impossible task) or if it was because at that moment, the door opened and their math teacher, Mrs.Robinson walked in and a student trudged after her. 

“Class we have a new student.” Mrs.Robinson said as she went to stand next to the student.

Dean glanced up from the the tortuous homework that he had actually managed to finish just as the boy with the black-boy hair looked up and Dean almost fell out of his chair.

He’d recognize those blue eyes anywhere.


	21. Chapter 21

_September 16th, 2014 (Continuation)_

Dean was glad that he had been holding onto the armrest of his desk, because he was pretty sure if he hadn't been, he would’ve definitely fallen out of his chair.

“Dude, are you okay?” Asher whispered, giving him a concerned look. “You look a bit green.” 

“Cas..” Dean managed to spit out.

Asher raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t heard that name in a while. “What?”

Dean nodded to the front where Castiel was introducing himself. “That’s Cas.”

Asher followed his gaze and when he recognized Castiel, he said, “Holy shit… didn’t he and sister leave like almost four years ago?”

“Guess they came back..” Dean answered him before returning his attention upfront. However, Castiel wasn't in the front anymore. Dean concluded that he had missed Castiel’s introduction because Castiel was already walking to the back of the classroom and sitting down next to a black-haired girl.

"He  _just had_  to sit next to Meg?" 

"Dean, she's not that bad." Asher said. "Despite your differences, you might find that you guys have a lot in common." 

"You sound a lot like Jo. Has she been lecturing you?" Dean said, teasingly. 

"All the time." Asher said, then shook his head. "But stop changing the subject. Meg's not the devil." 

"Oh believe me, I know that. She's a demon, not the devil." 

Asher shook his head at his friend's stubbornness. "Fine, have it your way. We're all just tired of your fights." 

"Hey she's the one who starts them." Dean exclaimed. 

"Dean, you sound like a three-year old." 

Dean grunted in his response. 

"Whatever, fine." Asher turned his attention back to the lesson. 

Meanwhile, Dean glanced back at Castiel and Meg. She was whispering something into his ear and smiling and within seconds, Castiel was smiling as well. That didn't make Dean angry. _Of course not. Not one bit._  Apparently Dean hadn’t been as stealthy as he thought he was because, within seconds, blue eyes made eye contact with his eyes and he almost fell out of his chair a second time. For an athlete, he sure was very coordinated.

Dean turned away and tried to pay attention to the ramblings of his teacher but after seeing Castiel, his brain had gone into overdrive. His thoughts went from ‘ _Oh my god-that’s Cas- Oh my god I hope he is okay’_ to  _‘well he has to be-look at how strong and fit he looks compared to his scrawny twelve year old self’_  to  _‘where the fuck did that come from.’_

The only thing that brought his attention back was when Mrs.Robinson called on him to answer the question.

Asher muttered the answer under his breath and Dean thanked the heavenly gods that he had a genius as a friend who was so nice. Of course Dean would never admit that to Asher.  _Ever._

 “See you at that party?” Asher asked after the bell rang and they were packing their bags.That's what he liked about Asher. He din't hold a grudge for too long. 

Dean shoved his binder into his backpack. “Dude, I already said that I would go.”

Asher sighed. “Just making sure. Alright, see you later man.” With that, Asher left to his next class.

As he walking out into the hallway, someone stepped in front of him and didn’t let him pass.

Dean looked up and saw whom it was. “ _Meg_.”

“ _Dean_.” She smirked, twirling a strand of her curly hair.

“What do you want?” He said, annoyed. Although he wasn’t Meg’s friend and they never really got along, Asher and Jo were friends with her and therefore they had to put up with each other. However, now that neither of their friends were in the classroom, they acted however they wanted. 

“Heard you were going to that party.” Meg said slyly.

“Yeah, probably for a few hours.” Dean arched an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Oh I’m going to that party.” She said, and then added, “And guess who I’m bringing?”

“Meg, I really don’t care about your boyfriend of the day.” Dean glanced at his watch. “Nor do I have the time for this.”

“Oh I think you’ll like who I bring to the party.” Meg snickered. “Remember that blue-eyed friend of yours? You guys used to be so inseparable back in the days.” She giggled.

Dean narrowed his eyes and said, “I swear Meg.. if you hurt him..”

“Don’t you worry, sweetie, I would never want to hurt that pretty angel face.” Meg then walked out of the classroom.

Her laughter could be heard as she left the classroom and walked down the hallway.

Dean was going to kill her. 

 


	22. Chapter 22

_Party (September 19_   _th  _ _, 2014)_

The music blasting from the house could be heard a few blocks away. That didn’t seem to matter to Victor Henricksen, who was the party host. He was walking around his house, laughing as he greeted the guests. 

“Hey, man, glad you could make it.” Victor said as he made his way through the tight crowd that had gathered.

“Hey, what happened to that so called 'small party’ as Ash called it?" Dean said, smirking. “Told my old man that I was going to a small gathering. He’d flip if he saw this.”

Victor put his arm around Dean’s shoulder as he led him away. “Well, we just won't have to tell him.”  
  
Dean laughed. Dean had known Victor for almost two years now. Victor was the team’s captain and at times, he could appear off-putting, tough, and snarky but most of his teammates knew that he just wanted them to succeed; it was nothing personal. Plus, he really did throw the best parties in town.

“Hey, I see you got out of family night.” Asher said as Victor and Dean walked up to him.

“More like lied to get out, am I right, Dean-O?” Alfie said winking.

Dean blushed slightly. He hated being the only one of his friends who had such an over-protective parent.

He shrugged and said, “Half-truthed it.”

Alfie laughed. “Whatever works.” He looked up and seemed to notice something because the next minute, he jumped off the bench and said, “Gotta go, there’s Mel.”

“ _Whipped_.” Theo whispered under his breath and the other boys cackled. Dean couldn’t help but smile too.

Apparently, Alfie had heard them.  Sparing them a murderous glare, he said, “Oh shut up” and then ran off to greet his girlfriend.

For the next hour, Dean chatted with his friends about school and about their recent meet, especially about how coach had been really crazy the day before, making them swim the extra laps. Everything was fine until Dean looked up and saw something that made his jaw drop.

“What’s the matter?” Asher said, aware of his friend’s attention being torn away from their conversation.

Dean nodded in the direction he was looking in. Asher’s jaw dropped as well.

"Guys, if you’re trying to look even more idiotic, it won’t work, trust me.” Victor says teasingly. He followed their line of sight and said, “Oh, that’s the Milton kid, the one who went away with his sister a few years back, right?”

And Dean really shouldn’t be surprised that Victor knows this even though Victor didn’t even go to the same school as them. But then again, they live in a small town that gossip would eventually reach him. 

“Right.” He says quietly looking down into his cup. He’s starting to think that maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea. Maybe he should’ve stayed home. He could’ve hung out with his friends another time.

"Well, look at him, first week back and already getting some action." Victor said laughing, "Maybe you should go ask him for advice, Theo." Theo said something back at Victor but Dean couldn't really hear at that moment, not that he really wanted to. 

All he could do is keep looking at Castiel pushing Meg against the wall and them making out and touching everywhere- and really Dean should look away but he simply  _can't_. 

After a few minutes, Asher puts his hand on Dean’s arm. “Hey, you alright?”

Dean shook his hand off of his arm and said, “I’m fine.” Asher nodded and then went back in to join the conversation. 

The rest of the night went by quickly. Dean chatted with his friends. He kept drinking. By the time he was on his fifth drink, he felt up for anything so he danced with a few girls, even some guys.

When the party ended, Dean and his friends helped Victor clean his house up and decided to all crash there.

After he changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth, he was lying on the spare mattress; unable to fall asleep. As he thought over the evening and what he had seen, his thoughts ranged from ‘ _Why did he have to go and kiss her? And of any girl he, choose fucking Meg?’_ to ‘ _Well, why would I care, it’s not like we were ever together.’_  to _‘Well we were boyfriends when we were 12…but that shit.. that was just for fun. It didn't mean anything.’_

Dean rolled over and punched the pillow. He sighed before willing himself to go to sleep. 


	23. Chapter 23

_Early November 2014_

A few months have passed by since Vic’s party but Dean couldn’t stop thinking about it. It wasn’t like Dean was jealous. Of course not, that would be crazy. And what would he even be jealous of? That was ridiculous. No, Dean just hated that stupid bitch, Meg. Why’d she have to go and take Castiel? She could have any guy but of course, she wanted Castiel. She’s probably just using him to get back at Dean. Dean’s definitely convinced that’s what it is.

He’s not jealous. Nope. Not one bit.

Dean‘s too engrossed by his thoughts that he hasn’t even realized that half of the class has gone by. He only notices when he sees that when he sees that Asher isn’t sitting next to him and that Castiel has taken his place.

“Dean, do you want to do it at my place or yours?” Castiel said, bringing Dean out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Dean asked.  _Why the heck did Castiel all of a sudden want to go to his place? And what did he mean by, ‘it’?”_ Dean tried not to blush at the insinuation.

“The  _project_ , Dean.” Castiel gave him a pointed look and suddenly Dean was reminded of the old Castiel, the one Dean used to be best friends with. “The project that we are supposed to do for this class.”

At that moment, Dean couldn’t help but thinking how much Castiel had changed.

“Dean!” Castiel exclaimed. “Are you even listening? This project is worth 40% our grade.  _Lucky_  for me, I somehow got partnered up with you.”

“I sense some resentment in that statement.” Dean smirked when he saw the tiniest bit of red tint Castiel’s cheek. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, we can start it today after school.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile at the way Castiel’s face got even redder. Some things never change.

* * *

_Same day (After school)_

“So any ideas for the project?” Dean said as he hung up his coat and then took Castiel’s to do the same thing.

“Not sure, really. What do you think we should do?” Castiel asked.

“I-um-.” Truth be told, Dean didn’t even know what the project was supposed to be about. He hadn’t been listening and he was hoping that Castiel would tell him.

“You don’t even know what we’re supposed to do, do you?” Castiel narrowed his eyes.

“Um..well..” Dean stammered. Great, one conversation with Castiel and he’s already a puddle.

Castiel cracked a smile. “Don’t worry, I know what we have to do. I can tell you after lunch.” Dean was about to tell him where the kitchen was but then he realized as he saw Castiel walk there that Castiel remembered.

He swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat and followed Castiel.

“What do you want?” Dean said, suddenly being reminded of their sleepover years ago.

“Anything you have is fine.” Castiel replied.

“No peanut butter and nutella?” Dean asked teasingly.

Castiel laughed. “God no. I don’t eat that shit anymore.” And wow, Castiel was cursing.

Dean doesn’t remember Castiel ever being so calm and confident.

As Dean heated up the remains of the pizza, he couldn’t help but glance over at Castiel. He almost gasped when he looked back. Castiel had rolled up his sleeves and holy shit. His arms looked great. There were no hints of bruises or scars that had been put there on often occasion.

Castiel caught Dean’s gaze and then said, “They faded.”

Dean nodded. He didn’t know what else to do.

Once the microwave beeped, he got out the slices and placed them on plates.

“Here you, go it’s a bit hot.” Dean said as he placed the plate before Castiel. Castiel, probably not noticing that Dean was still holding the plate, reached for the slice and accidentally touched Dean’s hand.

Dean withdrew his hand quickly. Castiel, muttered, “Sorry” before taking a bite.

“Do you want some iced tea?” Dean asked abruptly.

Castiel nodded and Dean got up from his stool to retrieve two iced tea bottles from the fridge. As he poured them into glasses, he tried not to think about what had just happened.

He hoped his face didn't look it like it was on fire.

* * *

_A few weeks before Thanksgiving_

Dean and his friends were all huddled around a table in the cafeteria. Castiel was also there. Meg had some kind of study group to attend or something. Dean didn’t really care. He just liked spending time with Castiel. Over the past month, they had been working on their English project and they had started getting closer again.

“So you guys going to the Thanksgiving dance?” Alfie asked as he finished up his Chemistry homework. Well more like copied off Ash’s worksheet while Ash wasn’t looking.

“Nah, don’t think so. What am I going to do? Dress up as a turkey?” Asher said and then yanked the worksheet farther away from Alfie and said, “And stop copying my answers, you wanker.”

“We aren’t British, da-arling.” Theo drawled and everyone cracked up.

Jo rolled her eyes. “Only you would go to a dance dressed as a turkey.”

“And I’d be the only one looking fabulous.” Asher responded triumphantly.

Jo giggled. 

"I'm s _ure_  you would." Theo said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You going to the dance, Cas?” Alfie asked, ignoring his friends. He was the most serious of his friends and sometimes Dean thought that Alfie was really 80 years old deep down.

Castiel shrugged. “I dunno. I haven’t talked to Meg about this.”

Alfie nodded. He turned to Theo, “How about you? Managed to ask someone?”

Theo’s smile vanished immediately. “No, I wish. Does Mel have any hot friends?”

Alfie whacked him up he head. “Hey! That’s my girlfriend’s friends you’re taking about.” Then he muttered quietly, “No she doesn’t.”

After lunch, they separated ways. He and Jo giggled when they walked down the hallway and heard Asher shouting at Alfie, “Fine I’ll help you as long as you stop copying.”

Before Jo went into the classroom, Dean grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him.

“Ow-what the  _fuck_ , Winchester?” Jo rubbed her arm and narrowed her eyes at Dean, waiting for an explanation.

Dean rubbed at his neck and shifted his eyes, unsure of how to phrase this.

Jo grew impatient and barked out, “What?”

“Um.. well- I was wondering- do you want to go to the dance with me?” Dean asked hesitantly.

Jo rolled her eyes. “Is that what this was about? Sure, I’ll go with you. But no funny business! And remember, Asher is technically my brother.”

Like Dean could ever forget that. 

 


	24. Chapter 24

_Later that day 2014_

“I’m home.” Dean yelled as he entered his house, took off his coat and hung it up. As he kicked off his boots, he heard giggling. Besides the fact that his dad was working late, Dean was also sure that his father would never be caught giggling like that.

As he walked into the kitchen to get a coke, he saw that someone was sitting next to his brother. Dean wasn’t sure if it was the telepathy of brothers or if Sam was just that good at reading people because the next second, Sam looked up from his notes and said, “Don’t worry, Dean. He’s my friend. I didn't let a stranger into our house.”

Dean rolled his eyes at his little brother to which Sam smirked. “Nice to meet you, Sam’s friend.”

The boy with the golden hair scoffed. “I have a name.”

“I have one too.” Dean smirked. “Yet neither of us knows each other’s names.” Dean opened his bottle. “ _That_ , of course would be thanks to Sammy of there.” 

“Yeah,  _Sammy_. Thanks.” The kid glared at Sam but anyone could tell it was just playful.

Sam rolled his eyes again and Dean wondered how his brother’s eye still hadn’t stuck that way. Dean used to tease him by telling him that his eyes were going to roll out, what with his constant habit.

“Dean, this is Gabe. Gabe, this is Dean, my annoying older brother.” Sam said and went back to writing.

“Nice to meet you, Gabriel.” Dean said and the kid’s face fell but he seemed to recover within seconds when he said, “Back at you, Deanna.”

Dean shook his head and laughed. The kid’s eyes widened; apparently he hadn’t realized that Dean was messing around.

“Well I’m going to my room to do the shit ton amount of homework that I have. I tell you, my teachers have definitely conspired together. You kids want anything?”

Sam sighed. “Yeah, for you to stop referring to us as kids, Deanna. We’re four years younger, not forty.”

“Hey, now watch your mouth there, Samantha!” Dean grinned and although Sam usually got annoyed with Dean when he called him Samantha, Sam laughed.

“Jerk.” Sam said in annoyed voice but the small smile told Dean that he wasn’t really mad.

“Bitch.” Dean retorted, grinning. He was about to go upstairs, he really wasn't joking before, he did have a lot homework when Sam called his name.

“Yeah?” Dean turned his head.

“You going to the Thanksgiving dance?” Sam asked.

“How do you even know about that?”

“My older brother goes to the school.” Gabe interjected. He rubbed his hands together. “He’s told me _lots_ of stuff.”

“And your brother’s name is…” Dean trailed off, he had never heard of this kid before.

“Michael.” Oh yes, Michael. Dean knew exactly who Michael was. The senior who every guy wanted to be and every girl wanted to be with; too bad he was gay. Although it was only rumored, Dean could confirm the rumor as he was one of the few people who Vic trusted and confided in and Dean knew that they were together. Dean wondered if Michael's little brother knew.

But it wasn’t his business so he just nodded and said, “Yeah, I know your brother. He’s on the basketball team, right?”

Gabe gave a small nod.

Sam scoffed. He was getting impatient. “Anyway back to my question, are you going?”

“Yep.” Dean responded making the p ‘pop.’

“With who?” Sam asked widening his eyes in curiosity.

“Jo.” Dean answered simply.

“Really?” Sam uttered. “You’re going with  _Jo_?

“Yeah, Sammy, believe it or not, your brother’s got game.” Dean said cockily. Nobody needed to know how awkward he had been with Jo while asking her out. “Besides, who else would I go with?”

Sam exchanged glances with Gabe. The kid shrugged. Then Sam looked back at Dean and said, “Um.. no one.”

“As much as I would like to understand whatever  _that_  was, I have to go do my homework." Dean said.

As Dean wandered up the stairs, he wondered if Sam knew. Nah, he crossed that thought out of his mind. There was no way Sam could have figured it out. 


	25. Chapter 25

_Late November (The dance, part 1) 2014_

Dean fiddled with the cuff of the sleeve of his dress shirt for what felt like the hundredth time. Dean adjusted his tie and sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror.

Sam, who had been watching in TV in the living room amusingly glanced at his older brother before looking back to the screen.

Once he heard that annoying sound of fabric yet again, Sam muted his show and exclaimed, “That’s it. Stop it!”

Dean turned from the mirror and said, “What?”

“That annoying thing with the stupid cuff. I can't watch my show because of your obsessive behavior.” Sam said slamming his hand down on the cushion. “It’s no wonder you were named after grandma, what with all fussing over that mirror for the past thirty minutes.”

“Whatever, Samantha.” Dean retorted.

“Are you seriously calling me the girl version of my name when the last thirty minutes have just proven that you’re the girl.”

John, who had just walked into the room said, “Although I agree with Sam about that habit of yours being way too annoying, that was very sexist of both of you to imply that girls are weaker or that they're the only ones to care about appearances and that a girl’s name represents weakness.”

For the first time after getting dressed that evening, Dean stopped fiddling with his cuff and said, “Way to be the feminist,  _dad_.”

Sam, who was trying very hard to ignore his brother laughed to which Dean grinned back. At least, they could always count on being able to laugh at their dad together.

“Your mother would not be proud to know that her sons turned out to be sexists and I certainly did not raise you that way.” John interjected.  

Dean stopped laughing and looked ashamed at that and said, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Sam said quietly from his spot on the couch.

There were a few seconds of silence before they heard honking.  
  
“Well that’s me.” He said and he put on his coat. Just as he was opening the door, his father called out his name.

“Yeah?”

“Dean, I realize that you’re probably the only fifteen-year old boy with a mechanic for a dad who still hasn’t taught him to drive-” John looked up to make sure Dean was listening and when Dean gave a small nod, John added, “So if you want to.. maybe I could teach you how to drive this weekend?” John ended in a hopeful tone. 

This was his dad’s way of diffusing the situation. John knew it and Dean knew it. Heck, even Sammy at twelve already knew it. 

“Sure, that’d be great.” Another honk was heard. “Well I gotta go or Mrs.Harvelle’s going to kill me.”

John nodded. “Be safe.” He yelled out as Dean walked toward the car.  

Dean waved to Jo as he walked to the car.

Tonight was going to be fun, Dean was sure of it. 


	26. Chapter 26

_Late November (The dance, part 2) 2014_

Dean couldn’t wait to get out of the car. While they drove to the dance, Ellen made sure to tell him how she still kept her deceased husband’s gun.She also didn’t mid mentioning how many different ways she knew how to kill a man.

So it can be said that once they got close to the school, Dean was relieved.

Once they pulled up to the building, Ellen however did not allow them to get out of the car and decided to give another speech.

Jo rolled her eyes and said, “We get it mom but if you don’t remember, I can take care of myself as I do have a black belt.”

Ellen nodded and said, “Okay, you kids have fun. “You kids be safe and remember, Dean-” Ellen gave a pause but then continued, “there are just so many ways to kill a man.”

 “You better not do anything to hurt her.” Ash said while Jo went to give their coats in.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Dean said.

“Just remember, if you ever do anything to hurt her-” Ash didn’t get to finish because Jo walked up to them.

“You know, I've had it up to here with your chauvinist crap.” She exclaimed.* 

“What?” Ash said in a hoarse voice.

Jo scoffed and folded her arms. “You both think a woman isn’t capable of defending herself.”

Ash opened his mouth to say something but before he could say anything, Jo interrupted and said, “I was expecting this speech from mom but from you? Thanks for making sure I know what kind of brother I have.” Then she angrily walked away.

“I better go talk to her.” Dean said before running after Jo.

“Hey.” Dean said as he approached Jo in front of the snacks table.

“What do  _you_ want?” Dean tried to comfortingly place a hand on her shoulder but she pushed him away and said, “Don’t touch me.”

“I’m sorry about what we said.”

“Really are you sure you aren’t just sorry that I heard it?” Jo asked arching an eyebrow.

Dean sighed. “Alright, maybe that too but c’mon you have to know that Ash is just trying to look out for you.” He gave her a warm smile and Jo’s eyes softened.

“I know. It’s just-” Jo sighed, “Sometimes, I wish he could stop feeling the need to always protect me. I mean-technically, he’s not even my brother.”

“Jo, I can be wrong about a lot of things but one thing I can tell you is that older siblings never stop caring for their younger siblings.” Dean gave a small smile. “Trust me, I know.”

Jo laughed. “I bet you do.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Jo got up, extended her hand and said, “Hey want to go dance?

“Sure.” Jo put her plate down on the nearest table. Dean then got up and followed her onto the dance floor.

The first few songs were fine and Dean could admit that he was finally having fun. But then he had to look up. Of course, he just he had to look up and see Cas and Meg and whatever they were doing. He didn’t think it could even pass it off as dancing. He wondered where the chaperones were but then as he took note of the adults with their cups of ‘punch’, he realized that they probably didn’t even care themselves.

Jo stopped dancing and said, “Dean, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Dean said in a strained voice then cleared his throat. “Let’s get out of here.”

“I though you were having fun?”

“I was. I just-” Dean sighed, avoiding eye contact. “-really want to leave.”

Jo’s eyes softened, she seemed to understand that now was not the time for questions. “Okay, let me go get my purse and we can get out of here.”

Ten minutes later, they were standing outside of the school building. Letting out a breath, the visibility of air reminded them it was near winter.

“So.. what was that about?” Jo asked as they stood on the curb. She was trying not to look at him directly but Dean could tell that she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

“I.. don’t know.” He looked up from his gaze on the curb and said, “Do you want to go somewhere?”

Jo looked up at him and raised her eyebrows. “Like where?”

“We could go to the nearby Denny’s. I heard they have great pancakes there.”

“Well I’m no expert on pancakes but I can trust you with that field.” It was a known fact that Dean liked food.

Dean laughed and Jo grinned, glad that things weren’t as awkward anymore.

Dean thanked whatever gods there were that they lived in a neighborhood where everything was fairly close.

Ten minutes after they decided to go eat, they were already seated in the diner.

Jo twirled the saltshaker in her hand, swaying it from one side to another, making sure it did not fall. “So.. you want to tell me what that whole thing was about?”

Apparently it was Dean’s night of luck because at that moment, the waitress decided to come by to take their orders.

But once the waitress was gone, Jo was yet again determined to find out. “So what was that about?”

Den sighed. He really didn’t want to discuss this, especially not with Jo.

“Dean, you and I both know that I won’t stop asking.” Jo stopped fiddling with the sugar packets. “You can just tell me.”

“I-” But Dean was thankfully interrupted yet again. This time it was by the announcement of their waitress with their food.

“That looks delicious, thank you.” Jo smiled at the waitress as she placed their plates down on the table.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” The waitress winked and Jo’s ears reddened a bit.

“What was that about?” Dean said once the waitress was out of earshot.

“Dunno.” Jo said before pouring syrup over her pancakes right before she stabbed one with her fork.

She took a bite and her eyes widened at the sweetness. Once she swallowed a bite and took a sip of her tea, she said, “You were right, these are  _exceptional_ pancakes.”

Dean smiled. “Told you.”

“But don’t think I forgot about the dance.” Jo said as she took another bite.

“I-” Dean didn’t even know where to begin. How was he going to explain this to Jo?

“It’s Cas, isn’t it?” Jo asked the question so quietly that Dean almost hadn’t heard her.

Dean averted his eyes and said, "I'm so sorry, Jo." 

Jo cocked her head and said, "For what?"

"You deserved better, Jo." Dean whispered. 

Jo raised her eyebrows and gave a pointed look. "Don't flatter yourself, Winchester." 

"Keep telling yourself that, no can resist my charm." Dean was glad that he immediately ducked after that because he was positive that the spitball thrown his way had a 99.9 % chance of hitting him in the eye. And no sir, he did not need that on top of everything else. 

They sat there eating their food until a few seconds passed and Jo piped up. “If it makes you feel any better, I never really liked Meg.”

Dean was surprised at that admission.

“Really?”

Jo nodded. “Yeah, the only reason I’m friends with her is because Ash likes her.” Jo cut into another pancake and said, “Dunno why he likes her though” right before taking another bite.

“The things we do for our siblings.” Dean commented eliciting a laugh from Jo.

 “Hey, now that we’re sharing, I might as well spill.” Jo said once she was done with her meal.

“Yeah, what kind of deep dark secrets does the Jo Harvelle have?” Dean asked teasingly.

“Actually, it’s similar to yours.” Jo said as she played with her napkin, almost causing it to fall to the ground.

“Similar how?” Dean asked tentatively.

“I’m bi.” Jo blurted out quiet loudly that she was positive the only two other customers who were sitting on the other side of the diner heard her. She could feel her face getting red. However, Dean didn’t mention it at all.

“Oh, cool.” Dean said simply.

“That’s it?” Jo asked. “That’s your only response?”

“Well I don’t really know what you want me to say.” Dean shrugged. “I’m not very surprised.”

They sat for a few seconds in silence yet again before Jo smirked and said, “Hey guess what I just realized?”

“What?” Dean looked up from stirring the sugar into his tea.

“We can be each other’s gay best friends.”

“We’re both bi, Jo.” Dean retorted.

“Fine, we can be co-bi friends.” Jo corrected.

Dean laughed. “That’s sounds like some kind of STD.”

Jo snickered. She raised her mug and said, “To us, co-bi friends and to spending many future nights at diners eating pancakes at twelve in the morning, though hopefully not only when things don’t get right.”

Dean laughed and then clinked his mug with hers.

After making sure that Jo got home safely, Dean walked back home and decided that as dances went, this one didn't turn out to be so terrible. 


	27. Chapter 27

_Early December 2014_

Dean hated the winter. He hated the cold and he hated how he had to wear layers upon layers upon layers. Two layers were fine with him but more than that and he couldn’t stand it. He hated having chapped lips and he hated the catch-22 situation that occurred when he had to choose between wearing gloves and being able to use his phone outside. He hated winter and it was ironic seeing as he was born during it, compared to Sam, who was born in the spring and who unlike Dean, actually loved winter.

That’s what happens when you’re a Winchester, he supposed.

Anyway, he hated the winter. But he didn’t mind it as much when he got to spend it with his friends, especially Cas.

Castiel had the habit of wearing a lot of layers and for a lot of people, it made them look like an oversized snowman but Castiel somehow managed to make it work. Dean especially loved when Castiel would keep his scarf on and Dean got to see Castiel in his scarf quite often whenever he came over to do schoolwork. Sometimes Dean would allow himself to sneak glances at Castiel’s neck wrapped in whatever tacky patterned scarf he chose to put on that day and Dean’s mind would race. Dean wondered how it would feel to slowly and gently take the scarf off and to run his fingers down Castiel’s neck and to feel a pulse under his fingers and then maybe he could feel it with his lips too- Dean’s thoughts usually stopped right there because if they didn’t- well there would be more than just a party in his pants and that would be quite difficult to explain to Castiel.

* * *

_A week before holiday break_

Jo slammed her Chemistry textbook down on the library table and Dean looked up from his seat.  “Tough day?”

Jo sighed as she pulled out the chair and sat on the edge of it. She opened her Chemistry textbook and started listing through the pages until she got to the one she needed. Once she took her notebook and pens out and pulled her chair up, only then did she look up and smiled thinly. “Is it that obvious?”

“Kinda. But you usually look angry- hey- ow that hurt.” Dean rubbed his leg where Jo had kicked him and glared at her. “Now I know that you’re really in a mood. What gives?”

Jo glared at him but did not kick him again (thank god, Dean didn’t think that he would be able to withstand another kick to his leg.) She opened her mouth to say something but whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the click-clacking of heels getting close to their table. As the sound got closer, Dean’s eyes trailed upward from the high-heeled boots to the pale creamy legs barely covered by the black skirt to the blouse tucked into it and eventually to the face those legs belonged to and as his eyes went through a journey, so did the expression on his face, which went from a smile to a frown within seconds of realizing whom he had been checking out.

Meg smirked. “While flattering, I’d appreciated if you’d stop looking at my assets.” 

Dean rolled his eyes.  “What do you want, Meg?”

“Though I cannot fathom why, Ash insisted that I give you these myself.” She dropped two small envelopes on the table.

Dean and Jo each took one and opened them. While they overlooked the cards inside, Meg explained. “They’re invitations to my end of semester party. You don’t have to RSVP to them, honestly I don’t care if you even show up but everyone’s invited so I hope you guys have fun yadda yadda.” With that, she turned on her heel and left their table.

Dean waited to make sure Meg was out of earshot and when he saw her sitting down at a table with some group of girls on the farthest end of the library, he blurted out, “Are you really going to go to the party?”

Jo shrugged and looked up from the problem she was doing her in her notebook. “I don’t know- it might be fun.”

“Do you know if Cas is going?” Dean asked.

Jo gave him a strange look, a look that most people gave others when they were out of the loop but expected them to know everything anyway. “Didn’t you hear?”

“Hear what?” Jo motioned to him to lean forward so that they could be closer.

“Cas and Meg broke up like a week ago.” Jo whispered.

Dean arched his eyebrow. “Why?”

Jo shrugged again. “Dunno- I just heard from Ash.”

“So he won’t be there?” Dean asked, trying to keep any emotion evident in the tone of his voice.

“Oh  _he’ll_  be there.” Jo said as she flipped to the next page in her textbook. Then as an afterthought, she said, “Chemistry’s such a bitch.”

“ _What_?” Dean breathed.

“I said, ‘chemistry’s such a bitch.’” Jo rolled her eyes- “Honestly, Winchester, where is your attent- ” Jo didn’t get to finish because Dean interrupted her and said, “No, I mean why is Cas going to be there?”

Jo twirled her pen around. “I don’t know- I mean it’s Meg-she invites everyone and it’s not like they ended up on bad terms or that’s what I heard anyway.” She looked back down to her notes and frowned.

“Oh.” Dean said and tried not to let the hurt be evident in his voice. But what right did he get to feel hurt anyway? It’s not like Cas owned him anything.

Jo looked up from her notebook again and placed a hand on Dean’s arm comfortingly. “Hey cheer up, it’ll be fun, we just have to get Ash drunk within like the first hour.”

Dean snorted and Jo smiled back.

“Now help me with this chemistry shit.”

“If you hate it so much, why did you take it?” Dean asked curiously.

“It’s a requirement for AP Bio and if I want to get in a good pre-med program, I have to take this class.” Jo sighed.

“Chem is a requirement for AP Bio? I thought it was Bio you needed?”

“I did but I already took it and the guidance counselor suggested I take Chem as well so it looks better for getting into the class and then college.”

“Oh.” Dean said and then pulled the textbook to him. Here he was not even sure what he was going to do the next day and Jo was telling him that she had planned out the next two or three years of her life already.  How was he supposed to know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life at sixteen?

He was going to see the guidance counselor later.

He wasn’t that great at Chemistry- no that was Ash, who Dean was pretty sure liked the subject so much partly because of his obsession with the show,  _Breaking Bad_. Anyway, Dean wasn’t bad at it so he could probably help Jo with it.  

As he looked over the problem, he heard Jo say, “I saw you looking up her skirt.”

Dean glanced up and smirked. “So? You were doing the same thing.” He grinned when he saw that Jo’s ears had reddened.

“Well what can I say- despite her pretty ugly personality, she is pretty hot.”

Dean nodded in agreement.

“Now help me with this, Winchester or I’ll tell your dearest Cas about that field trip accident you had during freshman year.” Jo smiled cruelley.

“Okay, okay, your highness.” Dean spent the next two hours helping Jo with her Chem homework and then studying for his own class. 

And as he sat in the library, a part of him couldn’t stop thinking of how the party would go. 


	28. Chapter 28

_The party (mid-December, before Christmas) 2014_

The music could be heard miles away from Meg’s house and Dean wondered if she had gotten her pointers on how to throw a crazy party from Victor. As they walked, some guys who were already on their fourth drink (of whatever it was that was in the cup because Dean really could not tell as he was sure Meg’s punch was a mixture of everything possible) smirked in Jo’s direction. She, however, scrunched up her nose in disgust and walked past them. Dean waved back at them and winked in their general direction. In his opinion, it was hilarious to see the drunken boys in their confusion.

Some guy’s facial expression turned to disgust (apparently their fear of the gay got even worse when they were drunk). Others were all touchy-feely and started to get personal. Either way, Dean always had a good time messing with them.

When they entered the house, Dean wasn’t surprised to see where Asher was. Apparently Jo wasn’t the only one aware of Asher’s reputation of being a fun drunk as Asher was already entertaining people with his table dancing. When he spotted Dean, he broke out into a huge grin and jumped on the floor.

He enveloped Dean into a bone-crushing hug and yelled right into Dean’s ear, “My man, man I love you” as he clapped him on the back. Dean was sure he was going to be deaf after this party. 

A few hours later, Dean was walking out of the bathroom when he bumped into someone and was about to apologize when he saw who it was, smiled and exclaimed, “Cas!”

Castiel smiled in return. “Hello, Dean.”

And right then, Dean pushed Castiel against a wall and placed his mouth on Castiel’s. If Dean was asked what had possessed him to do that, he would never know how to answer that. He could blame it on the alcohol although deep down, Dean knew he hadn’t drank that much and was pretty sober to blame it on the alcohol.

He didn't care though what sudden irrational thing had made him be brave because he was kissing Castiel. It didn't matter that it only lasted seconds because he was finally kissing Castiel. 

When Dean was finally aware of what was he doing, he turned around to run far far away and prayed Castiel would be too drunk in the morning to remember this when he felt a hand on his arm and was suddenly being pulled into a room.

Castiel wasted no waste time as he pushed Dean back against the door and took Dean’s mouth into his. Dean tangled his hands into Castiel’s hair and pulled him close at the same time as he picked up his legs to wrap them around Castiel’s waist. 

Castiel tasted exactly like he had imagined- sweet with a hint of something bitter and fuck, he clearly knew what he was doing as Dean tried to hold back a moan and pulled Castiel as close as he could. 

They had been laying on the bed, making out and grinding their bodies together. A few minutes into it, Dean’s shirt was gone and he was reaching for Castiel’s belt to unbuckle it when suddenly Castiel sprang away from him and said, “I don’t think we should do this.”

“What, why not? What’s wrong?” Dean said in a hoarse whisper.

Castiel shrugged avoided eye contact. “Nothing’s wrong, I just think it’s not such a good idea.”  

Dean sat up, swung his legs over the bed. “Yeah, whatever.”

He refused to look Castiel in the eyes as he put his shirt back on. “You got a ride back?”

“ _Dean_.”

Dean ignored Castiel. “Cas, I don’t want to talk about it, not right now, at least.”

Cas nodded. “Okay.” And that’s why Dean liked Castiel even though he was currently mad at him. Castiel knew when to not press further even when Dean knew he wanted to.

“So you got a ride back home?”

“No, I walked here.”

“Alright, I’ll go find Jo and Ash and then we can all leave.” Dean turned to leave when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“ _What_?” Dean asked in an irritated voice.

“Are you okay to drive?” Castiel ask, concern evident in his tone of voice.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yes, Cas, believe it or not, I only had one drink.”

“God, Dean – I didn’t mean it like that, I just- I’ll help you find them.”

Dean said nothing to that and just let Castiel follow him. 

 “You seen Theo?” Currently, Dean was trying to get Asher to stand up so that they could get him in the car. Usually he would start asking about their friends as their locations often concerned Asher deeply when he was drunk and he always jumped up at the opportunity to try to find them.

Unfortunately, Asher just said, “I love them but I have no idea where the fuck they are. Piss off.”

Great, Asher finally reached the grumpiness level of drunkenness.

“How about Alfie? You seen him?” Dean asked, his patience withering away by the minute.

“Man, I love him too, I even let him copy my math homework.” He could see Castiel trying not to smirk at the exchange.

“Yeah, I know, apparently you love everyone today.” Jo snorted from her place on the couch. She wasn’t as drunk as Asher but she had been drinking coffee to try to alleviate her headache. Dean told himself that at least he only had to deal with one drunken Harvelle sibling. He didn’t want to remember last year’s party when Jo  _and_  Asher were both drunk.

“No you don’t get it- I  _really_  love him.” Asher had a sloppy smile on but there was something sad behind his expression like a longing of sorts and Dean didn’t really want to have this conversation right now.

“Ash, come on, we have to get you home. I still have to drive Cas and Jo home.”

Asher smiled again. “Cas, man I love him too. He’s such a great guy but I think you love him more.”

At that moment, Dean was thankful that they were in the dark and that Castiel could not see him blush.

“Ugh, let me help.” Jo strolled over and pulled Ash up on his feet. She rolled her eyes at Dean and Castiel and said, “A little help here, guys.”

Dean and Castiel helped Jo carry Asher out of the house and into the car. When they got into the car and both Dean and Cas were still staring at her in amazement, she said, “I have a black belt.”

In the end, Dean drove Cas home and Jo and Asher stayed over at Dean's house. He knew that Ellen would be very angry with both Asher and Jo so he and Jo decided to bullshit a sleepover story. He only hoped Ellen would believe them. 


	29. Chapter 29

_The day after the party (mid-December, before Christmas) 2014_

Ellen, of course didn’t believe the story, not one bit. She called the next morning and warned Dean that Asher better be back home by 12:00 O’clock sharp or else there would be serious consequences. No one dared to mess with Ellen, as everyone knew how serious she was about rules. So the result was that Dean helped Asher pack all of his things as quickly as possible and then they took turns using the bathroom to make themselves look as acceptable as possible after a long night of drinking and partying.

After Dean took a shower, he went to make breakfast. As he was finishing making the scrambled eggs, Asher wandered in and sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Shit, I think I need to sleep for another decade.” Ash said and rubbed his forehead and then ran his fingers through his hair.

Dean smirked at him, “Yeah a night of heavy drinking will do that for you.” He placed the plates on the table and then sat down with Asher to eat.

“Oh shut the fuck up, it’s not like you weren’t drinking.” Asher said as he started eating his eggs.

“Well, I wasn’t the one who proclaimed his love for everyone and everything at yesterday’s party.”

At that, Asher dropped his fork and said, “Oh please don’t tell me I told everyone I loved them.”

“That’s exactly what you did.”

“Fuck.”

Dean smiled slyly. “You especially told us your ever-growing love for Alfie, which honestly I’m not surprised about, you guys did have that weird vibe going on.”

Asher said, “There's nothing going on between us” and then frowned down at his plate.

Dean said nothing back as he knew there wasn’t much he could say to comfort his friend. Instead, he changed the subject of conversation to something else and soon talk of Alfie was forgotten.

After breakfast, Dean drove Asher back to his house. While in the car, Asher turned to Dean and said, “Hey, you wont tell anyone about the um…”

Dean smiled gently and patted Asher’s shoulder. “Ash, don’t worry, I might be a doofus sometimes but I’m not a complete idiot, your secret’s safe with me.”

Ash punched Dean in the shoulder and said, "Yeah you are a doofus." Dean smiled as he knew that was Asher's way of saying thanks. Asher then scrambled out of the car and ran to the porch where Ellen was already waiting, her arms crossed.

Driving back, Dean’s mind raced back to last night’s party and his encounter with Cas. As he turned the corner onto his street, he decided he was going to call Cas later and he hoped that they would sort everything out.


	30. Chapter 30

_The day after the party (mid-December, before Christmas, part two) 2014_

After making plans with Cas to meet up at the local park in a few hours, Dean decided that he would get some homework done. Of course that hadn’t worked out so well as he was having trouble concentrating on proofs when all he could think about was what he was going to say to Cas. And more importantly, he wanted to know what Cas was going to say to him; he especially wanted to know what the whole thing at the party had been about.

Once he realized that he had to head out soon, Dean changed and sprayed on as much cologne as he could. Maybe it was his smell that had bothered Cas the night before;  _that_ had to be it.

When he got there, he spotted Cas sitting on the bench near the swings, sipping on an iced coffee and holding another cup in his hand. Dean had to smile at this, Cas was always so considerate.

“Hey, I see you got me coffee, nice going.” Dean said as he approached the bench.

Cas swiveled around so fast that he almost dropped the cups of coffee he was holding and if he wasn’t so nervous, Dean would have laughed.

“Hello, Dean. Thanks for scaring the living crap out of me.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh boohoo baby, nothing really happened. Here let me take a cup from you.” Dean reached out with his hand and Cas handed the untouched drink to Dean. Dean sat down next to Cas but made sure to leave a lot of space between them.

“So..” Dean began but wasn’t sure where was going with this.

“Yes?” Cas tilted his head in the adorable way that made Dean want to press him against the bench and kiss him senseless but he had to remind himself that he couldn’t do that.

“About last night-”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t-

“I get it, you didn’t want to, it’s fine.” Dean looked down and rubbed his thumb along the side of his coffee cup.

“Dean, that’s not what-”

“Look, it’s fine, you don’t have to make shit up, I get it, I can handle the rejection.” Dean averted his eyes.

“Would you just look at me?” Dean looked up.

Cas grasped Dean’s face into his hands, leaned forward and then placed a gentle kiss on Dean’s lips. The kiss was nothing like the urgent rough kisses they had shared at the party the night before, this one was sweet and gentle.

Once the kiss was over, Dean opened his eyes and said, “ _Oh_.”

Cas smiled. “Yes.”

“Why, why didn’t you- ” Apparently Cas’s kisses caused Dean to lose track of all previous thoughts.

“Why didn’t I want to have sex with you yesterday night? I don’t know Dean, maybe it’s because I haven’t really done anything besides making out and maybe it’s because I also wanted it to be special. Plus you know there’s the whole thing with just recently getting out of a relationship, which by the way, I think we should talk about soon.”Dean wished he could ignore the last part but he knew Cas was right. For now though, he could enjoy what was right in front of him without thinking of everything and everyone else.

So Dean just said, “Shut up and kiss me again.”

Cas was happy to oblige.


	31. Chapter 31

_Same day 2014_

The honeymoon of their relationship lasted a total grand of ten minutes. They had been making out on the bench, when a lady who was walking a dog nearby started yelling obscenities and threatened to call the cops on them if they didn’t stop their behavior immediately.

As they exited the park, they could still hear the lady complaining about teenagers and all their nonsense and lack of respect. 

At that, Dean snorted and Castiel shook his head.

“It’s not funny, Dean.” Castiel said but the smile on his face said otherwise.

“It’s a little funny, come on, first time we kiss and a lady’s threatening to call the cops on us.”

Castiel laughed, “Okay, maybe it's a little funny.”

They laughed for a few minutes and then when they were calm, they decided on where they would go since the park was now not an option.

They settled on going to Castiel’s house and as they talked and walked, Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

From his peripheral vision, Dean could see Cas smiling and so he smiled too and neither said a word after that; they just walked along in comfortable silence.

“So this is where you live?” Dean said as he took off his coat and hung it onto a hanger. Just from entering, you could tell that the apartment was well taken care of. It was neat and clean and smelled nice, _just like Cas_. Dean thought. 

Cas nodded, “Well where me and Anna live.”

At Dean’s raised eyebrow for a further explanation, Cas explained as they took off their shoes. “You remember how we went to live with a foster family after all that shit with my dad?”

Dean nodded, trying not to clench his fists. He hadn’t realized how mad he still was after all this time; he could only imagine how Cas and Anna must feel like. “Yeah?”

“Well the family was great. But once Anna turned eighteen, she became my guardian and she thought we should go back, she wanted to see some of her old friends and her boyfriend lives nearby plus she thought I might do well with a few familiar faces, which I guess she was right.” Cas smiled softly, to which Dean had to smile back.

“You want something to drink?” Cas said as he went into the kitchen.

“Soda’s fine.” Dean said, and followed him.

They ate lunch and watched T.V. When, they were done with their food, Dean decided to ask the question that had been plaguing his mind since the beginning of the semester.

“So why Meg?” Dean blurted.

Cas pressed mute on the T.V. remote and simply said, “She was there for me.”

“ _She_  was there for you? What about the friends you had before her, some who have known you since birth?”

“Dean.” Castiel said, a light warning clearly audible in his tone. But Dean didn’t care, he needed to know why Castiel thought Meg was such a  _great_ companion.

“Do tell your current boyfriend why Meg was such a great girlfriend.” He probably shouldn’t have mentioned the word boyfriend since they were only together for a few hours now and Dean didn’t even know what Castiel thought they were. But Castiel chose to ignore that part.

Cas sighed. “Dean, she’s just a lonely girl- ” Dean huffed at that.

“I know, I know, it’s really hard for you to imagine that she’s a normal person and that me and her got along well.”

“Lonely, you think she’s lonely?”

“Yes, I would think so, what with her father abandoning them, her mother always working, and her brother, Luke in jail.” Cas looked up at Dean, narrowing his eyes, daring Dean to say something, probably expecting him to say something inherently stupid. “Wouldn’t you think she was lonely?”

It all hit a bit too close to home. Dean rubbed his face, "Yeah, I guess she would be.” Then he added, “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah well now you know.” Cas retorted. “Plus I don’t think I’m the one to whom you should be apologizing.”

“Are you kidding me?” Dean exclaimed, “I just got myself such an awesome guy, who’s hot and smart and funny, and then I had to start a stupid argument mere minutes after. Of course I have to apologize.”

Cas laughed, “You’re forgiven.” Then he turned back to watched the sitcom. However after a mere ten seconds, he turned around and said, “Wait, did you call yourself my boyfriend?”

Dean blushed, “Um..yeah?”

Castiel laughed again and Dean cherished the sound. Growing up with Castiel, Dean didn’t always get to hear the sound of Castiel’s laugh. But from now on, he promised himself that he would always make sure to make Castiel laugh so he could hear that sound.

“Don’t worry, Dean, you’re my boyfriend too.” Cas grinned, “I mean don’t you remember that pact we made all that time ago?”

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah but that was like fake." Then he said quietly, “Now it’s for real.”

Cas smiled. “Yeah it is.”

The rest of the evening passed quietly, with no other arguments evolving. They watched television and made out a bit more before Anna came back from work. And though Anna was older now and acted more sophisticated, what with her hair now being the original red color she was born with and the way she dressed and walked, she still missed no opportunity to tease her brother.And she did tease them after she caught them kissing on the sofa. All through dinner, she cracked jokes and made sure to see them turn red; especially Dean. 

After the most awkward dinner of all time was over, they said goodbye and promised to call each other. And then Dean went home. 

Monday morning, Dean found himself early at school. He walked among the library until he found what, or rather whom he was looking for.

He stopped before one of the library tables and said, “So I guess you’re not so bad after all.”

The girl with the loose black curls looked up from her laptop and smirked, “Do yourself a favor, Winchester and don’t pity me.” And then she went back to typing her essay.

“I wasn’t- I’m not- I wasn’t pitying you, Meg. I just get it- the attitude, the bitchiness, covering everything up, I get it.” Dean scratched the back of his head.

“You get it, huh?” Meg looked up from her essay and saw Dean fidgeting with the strand on his hoodie. “Okay, now do you get how to read the silence sign in the library because sometimes I swear, Winchester, it amazes me how you’ve managed to do well in your classes when you don't even pay half the attention you need to.”

Dean smiled. He knew Meg was never going to talk feelings and he was okay with that. Honestly, it was Meg’s life and if she wanted to share her story and talk about it, he would listen. But if she didn’t, he wouldn’t push her. They weren’t really friends but they weren’t really enemies anymore either. He sat down across from Meg and took out his history textbook. At the loud thunk the textbook made, Meg rolled her eyes but Dean knew what that meant.  _It was okay for him to sit with her_.


	32. Chapter 32

_Mid-May 2015_

Before they had a chance to even blink, winter turned into spring, which of course in turn brought on the anxiety and stress of upcoming final exams. And though Dean and Cas tried to hang out and go on dates as much as they could do, things kept coming up.

So it was no surprise that one Friday night when Cas and his debate team had to prep for their upcoming debate, and Dean's friends were busy with studying (as if Ash needed to study), Dean was home, sitting on the couch in his sweatpants watching reruns of  _Friends_ with his brother. Well, actually he had been watching it by himself when his brother came into the living room, flopped onto the couch and started groaning.

Then when Sam looked up and saw what show Dean was watching, he said, “Ugh Dean, why do you watch this show?” And then to make matters worse, he went and grabbed Dean’s bowl of popcorn without even asking and started shoving as much popcorn as he could into his mouth.

“What’s the matter with you, Sammy? Never steal another man’s popcorn.” Dean said and reached for his bowl back but to no avail. Sam had a pretty tight grip on the bowl and wasn’t letting go.

“Jeez, Sam, what happened to you today? Your geeky world got you down?”

Sam didn’t say anything but kept his tight hold on the popcorn bowl, not moving at all; he just stared up at the ceiling and frowned.

“Fine, don’t say anything but I’m not switching the channel.”

At that moment, someone in the show laughed and Sam groaned again and this time said, “How can you watch this? I fucking hate Ross.” 

“Whoa, Sam, watch your language.”

Sam threw a pillow at Dean’s head. “You and dad talk like that.”

He was right of course. Dean and John did curse a lot. But still, Dean didn’t want his brother to start cursing when he was only thirteen years old. 

“Yeah but you’re thirteen, you shouldn’t cuss.”

“Whatever I don’t care.” Sam said and rolled over onto his stomach, letting the popcorn bowl fall, spilling the contents. Dad was going to kill them if he came back from Bobby’s and found this mess. But Dean filed that away for later. Right now, he had to find out what was going on with his brother.

“Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”

“Madisondoesntlikeme.”

 “ _What_?”

Sam rolled over on his back and said, “I said Madison doesn’t like me.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Who’s Madison?”

“Some girl in my class.”

“She isn’t just some girl if you’re so upset over her.” Dean said, trying to urge Sam to give him more details.

Sam sat up and rolled his eyes. When his eyes fell on the popcorn lying on the floor, he scrunched up his nose in disgust, and Dean said, “Yeah, buddy, you’re helping me clean that up later. Now who’s Madison?”

Sam huffed, “She’s this girl I like but I don’t think she likes me.”

“And why not?”

“Well, we're friends, right but today when I walked by her in the café, she and her friends immediately stopped talking and starting giggling.”

“Okay and was Madison blushing?” Dean prompted. 

 “Yeah, how’d you know?” Sam asked curiously. 

Dean smiled, “Sammy, they were probably talking about you and I’m pretty sure she likes you.”

Sam’s face lit up. “You think so?”

“Pretty sure, I mean I could be wrong but she probably likes you too, you should find out on Monday. I think I know a thing or two about the ladies.”

“Like you would know.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sam smirked. “I saw you and Cas a few days ago in front of the house. Both of you were saying goodbye in a  _very very_  special way.”

Dean felt his heart beating faster and his face warming up.  _Oh no, they hadn’t been careful. What if dad had seen?_

Dean cleared his throat. “Did dad see too?”

“Nah, he was upstairs watching some old war documentary, you know how he likes those movies.” Sam chuckled and Dean smiled back weakly.

A few seconds passed in silence. Then Sam said, “Hey, I don’t care who you date and I’m sure dad won’t have a bad reaction either.”

"Thanks, Sam." Dean smiled at his brother. Then he added, "Now, no more chick-flick moments." 

"Fine as long as you give me the remote."

"Fine." Dean said and gave the remote to his brother. 

As his brother surfed the channels, Dean thought about his dad finding about him and Cas. He knew that he should talk to Cas about being more careful because he could never be sure what his dad's reaction would be to his son dating another guy.

* * *

_Middle of June_

School was over and Dean couldn’t be happier. He was done with all of his exams and classes and now all he had to do was wait for Cas to finish up his exam and then they could start off their first summer together as a couple.

When Cas ran out of the school and into Dean’s waiting room, they smiled at each other and shared a short kiss. Then they walked side by side to Dean’s car (well his dad’s car, really) and talked about their exams and what they were going to do over the summer.

Too bad, they didn’t know what was coming for them in the following months.


	33. Chapter 33

_Mid- July 2015_

They had been watching T.V. at Cas’s house in his room when Cas’s phone started buzzing. He took his phone out of his pocket and frowned at it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dean asked as he sat up and muted the television.

“Meg just texted me.”

It was true that Dean and Meg were on better terms now but it still didn’t stop Dean from being mildly annoyed that Cas still texted his ex-girlfriend.

Dean made a face. “Why is she texting you? She does remember you have a boyfriend, doesn’t she?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dean I think she does remember as you have reminded everyone in school about us more than a couple hundred times. Anyway, she’s texted to say that’s she moving.”

“Moving where?”  _Careful Dean, don’t let the excitement seep through your voice_ , Dean thought.

Cas checked his phone again. “New York. Her brother finished his sentence and their mom wants a clean slate for him so they’re moving.”

A sigh escaped Dean’s mouth. “Okay, when are we meeting her?”

Cas turned to him, a question written all over his face.

“C’mon, Cas, I know you, you’re going to want to see her before they leave.”

“That’s true,” said Cas. “I guess we can go see her next weekend, if you don’t have any plans?”

Dean smirked. “Baby, all my plans include you.”

Cas laughed. “Dean, where do you come up with that stuff, it’s so freaking corny.”

“Yeah, but you love it anyway.”

Cas beamed at him, “You’re right, I do.”

Then he reached over to Dean and pushed him down onto the bed. All thoughts of meeting up with Meg soon diminished.

After they met with Meg for coffee the next weekend, they went back to her house and helped her finish packing. Although, most of what they helped with was then redone by Meg and her mother as they preferred things "their way." Dean wondered what then was the point of him and Cas helping out but did not dare to voice his question. 

Later, when they stepped outside to say goodbye, Meg said  "See you around, Clarence" after she hugged Cas goodbye. Regarding this, Dean questioningly mouthed “Clarence” to Cas, to which Cas responded with “I’ll explain later.”

Then Meg turned to Dean and said, “Take care, assbutt.”

Dean shook his head but smiled nonetheless, he had expected nothing less from Meg. “Right back at you.”

Then, Meg went back into her house and Cas and Dean walked to Dean’s car.

Noticing that something was off with Cas as they walked down the street, Dean asked him what was wrong.

“Nothing’s wrong, I just wish -” Cas scratched at the back of his head, “I just hope they’ll be alright. I mean I know I don’t really know Meg’s mom or Luke that well but I think everyone deserves a chance at happiness.”

This is what made Cas special; he genuinely cared and believed that should get a chance at being happy.

Dean clapped him on the shoulder lightly, a bright smile on his face and said, “Don’t ever change, Cas.”

Later, when Dean got home after dropping Cas off, he walked into his house and the first thing that greeted him was Sam as he jumped right in front of Dean and chanted excitedly, “She said yes, she said yes.”

“ _What_?”

Sam stopped jumping, which Dean was pretty grateful for because his head was starting to get dizzy. “Remember how I wasn’t sure if Madison liked me?”

Dean nodded.

“So today, I was hanging out with her and I asked her if she would want to go on a date and she said yes!” Sam looked like he was ready to burst any second.

Dean laughed. “If you’re this excited about a girl saying yes to being your girlfriend, I wonder how excited you’ll be when a girl says yes to being your wife. Oh who am I kidding, as if someone’s going to marry such a geeky nerd.”

Sam stuck out his tongue, “Shut up, Dean.”

“Real mature, Sammy. I don’t even know how you managed to get Madison to say yes.”

“Real funny, Dean.” Sam said as he walked to the kitchen. Then he hollered, “Do you want to eat or have you eaten already?”

“I could eat.” Dean answered back and then sat up, “Why are we yelling?” He muttered to himself. Then he walked to the kitchen and sat at the counter. “Hey, maybe we should wait until dad gets back from work?”

Sam appeared to contemplate this for a few seconds as he scanned over the delivery menus that were sprawled out on the kitchen table. Apparently, he wasn’t too hungry because he then said, “Yeah, I guess we can wait until dad comes home to order some food.”

Dean wasn’t sure about Sam but he was definitely excited when their dad texted them to say that he was coming home because that meant that they could finally order the pizza they had been patiently awaiting.

However, when John came home, their excitement disappeared and both boys immediately sprang to their feet, sensing that something was wrong. The last time Dean had seen that look on his dad’s face was after his mom died.

And Dean definitely did not like seeing the look back on his dad’s face, especially when he was proven right when his dad sat down at one of the kitchen stools and said, “I’ve got bad news.”


	34. Chapter 34

_Mid- July, part two 2015_

Sam was the first to speak. “What’s wrong, dad?”

John sighed as he sat at the kitchen table. “There’s no easy way to say it so I guess I’ll spit it out. Your uncle bobby, he got bad news today, Karen passed away while he was at work.”

Dean hadn’t realized this but he had actually been frozen in place since his dad had told them he got bad news, awaiting whatever awful news his dad was going to tell him. And when he heard it, he breathed out a sigh of relief and then immediately regretted it. 

He wondered if it was awful of him to be relieved that for once, nothing was wrong with his dad or his brother. Of course, he felt bad for Bobby and he had always loved Karen, over the years, she had been like an aunt to him. But for a second, Dean was relieved. Then of course, he sobered up and said, “Okay, so when’s the funeral?”

Sam, ever the sensitive one, threw a glare at his brother, “ _Dean,_  she just died today.” Then he turned toward his father and softened his facial expressions and said, “How are you feeling, dad?”

John gave a smile small to his youngest son. “I’m alright, I can’t imagine what Bobby’s going through, probably the same thing I went through when I lost your mom, maybe even worse.” John shook his head and blinked, trying to keep his tears at bay. John added, “Karen was a strong one but the Alzheimer’s was stronger.”

Sam nodded, not knowing what else to do. At the same moment, his dad got up and went to get something from the fridge. After he rummaged through it, he took out a beer bottle, puffed it out triumphantly, and said, “aha.” Then he went to the cupboards to get something out of there.

Meanwhile, Dean and Sam shared bewildered looks at their dad’s strange behavior but decided not to say a word.

Within minutes, John then returned to the table, and placed three plastic cups, each filled with a bit of beer. He pushed one cup to Sam and one to Dean and said, “I’ll allow it just this once.” Then he winked at Dean and Dean knew that his dad most likely suspected that he had drunk beer before but Dean didn’t say anything and grabbed the cup, bringing it to his lips. Sam meanwhile took the cup as well but was looking at it as if drinking the beer in it would somehow turn him into a toad.

Dean was about to sip the beer when his dad stopped him and said, “Dean, Sam, I didn’t suddenly decide to give you boys beer just so that you can drink it, plus I know some of us aren’t so keen on drinking it.” John added and smiled at Sam, who shrugged sheepishly. Then John raised his cup and said, “To Karen, the woman who wasn’t only my best friend’s wife but was also like a sister to me. May she rest in peace.”

The three of them clinked their cups and then drank from them. Following that, they sat in a silence.


	35. Chapter 35

_August 2015_

It wasn’t really true what they said about time healing a wound or making the grief easier. In fact, Dean would say that sometimes the grief could be even worse after a long period of time. It wasn’t that a person stopped feeling the pain of losing a loved one; it was more so that the person learned how to live despite the pain. And sometimes, while they grieved, people would do stupid things.

And that’s exactly what happened with Bobby after he lost his wife, Karen. Well, maybe it was only Dean who considered it stupid. See, after Karen died, Bobby needed extra help with clerical work at the mechanic shop, as it was Karen who had always taken care of that part of the business and though Dean quite disagreed with him, Bobby apparently thought that Dean would be a great fit for it. Plus his dad kept throwing in how it could be a great experience and how he could write about it in his college applications.

And though he was just a seventeen year old and knew he definitely did not qualify for the job, Bobby and John kept insisting that he help out so eventually Dean caved and agreed to help Bobby out at the mechanic shop.

After Dean started working there, he had to admit that it wasn’t that bad. It also helped that he was being paid. Plus when it was a slow day and there weren’t many customers around, Bobby or John (whoever wasn’t busy at the time) allowed him to get under a car and would show him the ins and outs of fixing a car. Overall, Dean thought that it had turned out to be a pretty great first job.

* * *

_End of August_

Summer was coming to an end and though Dean felt like it was ending too quickly, he knew that that was not quite true. In actuality, it had been a very eventful summer. While some events were tragic (such as the death of aunt Karen whom Dean still missed to this day), others were pretty sweet. Dean had gotten his first job and so did Castiel. Castiel had gotten a job as a lifeguard and Dean sure did love visiting his boyfriend at the pool whenever he could since he enjoyed watching Castiel working in his uniform.

Dean and Castiel spent their summer nights either hanging out with their friends or going on dates by themselves. And though Dean, Cas and their friends dreaded it, all of them spent weekends together studying for the upcoming SATs.

Sam also had a pretty eventful summer. He had gotten a girlfriend but eventually had broken up with that girl. When Dean noticed how his brother had been moping around the house for a few days and asked him what had happened, Sam explained that he had broken up with Madison and when Dean asked why he had done that, Sam just shook his head and said, “She was way too into werewolves, Dean. It was kinda weird.”

Dean then put a hand around Sam’s shoulder, pulling his little brother in for a hug and as he ruffled Sam’s hair, he gave him a wide smile, “Don’t you worry Sammy, there’s going to be plenty of fishes out there.”

“Oh shut up.” Sam said in retort and shoved Dean away causing Dean to trip over his shoes, which in turn made Sam laugh. And Dean was glad that Sam was laughing, even if it was at his expense.

As he got up from the living room floor and got ready to chase Sam (who was already out in the backyard) and give him the biggest wedgie that dork deserved, Dean thought about how the summer had had its ups and downs but how overall it had been a pretty good one and how he couldn’t wait for the school year. He was sure it was going to be a great one.


	36. Chapter 36

_Early September (First day of school) 2015_

“This year is gonna be epic.” Asher said with a mischievous grin from the backseat of Dean’s car.

As Dean turned right, he glanced at Castiel out of the corner of his eye and gave him a small smile, to which Castiel responded with his own smile.

Asher decided to interrupt the moment. “Do you guys even hear me? It’s our senior year, it has to be-”

 “Epic.” Dean and Castiel shouted at the same time and then burst out laughing.

Asher did not appreciate being mocked and glared at both of them as Dean drove onto the parking lot and began to park his car. Asher’s prissy mood lasted for a bout of ten seconds as a new female student had just walked by the school parking lot.

Asher commented, "Wow, I want to know who that is." 

“What about Alfie- ”

Asher’s facial expression turned stoic right away. “Dean, that’s not happening. Please drop it.”

* * *

Dean threw his hands up in the air. “Okay, okay. Do you even know this new girl’s name?”

Asher shook his head. “No but I have great detective skills, I’m sure I’ll find out her name by lunch.” And then he scattered off to his first class.

“Deductive skills, my ass.” Dean said as they continued to walk toward their lockers. 

Castiel looked the direction Asher had gone and when he was sure he was out of earshot, he said, “He still likes Alfie, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, but that ain’t gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

“Alfie's got a girlfriend.”

Castiel arched an eyebrow “I had a girlfriend before I went out with you. It’s called being bisexual or pansexual. Sexuality is fluid.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Jeez, Cas, I know what it’s called. I’m bi too. I’m just saying that Alfie’s in a relationship with Melanie, he’s not going to break up with her.”

“Yeah I know. I just feel bad for Ash.” Castiel sighed, “Well, I have to go to first my class.” After he gave Dean a short kiss, Cas ran off to his first period.

* * *

_Later that day (at lunch)_

It turned out that Asher did have good deductive skills. Maybe not Sherlockian level deductive skills, but definitely some deductive skills as he had found out who the new student was. Or maybe he had found out who she was because the teacher had asked the new girl to introduce herself but no one had to know that. Either way, he had found out the new girl’s name and had invited her to lunch with his friends.

The new girl’s name was Ruby and she had transferred for her senior year to Lawrence High because her parents travelled a lot for work. She then warned Dean and his group of friends not to get too attached as she would most likely be gone before the first semester even ended. Dean thought it was a pretty weird thing to say as they had just met her but he didn’t say anything as he could see that Asher really liked her.

* * *

_Later that day (After school)_

Since Dean was a senior and didn’t have many classes but his brother was a freshman and had a much longer schedule, Dean was stuck waiting in the library for his brother’s school day to finish.

As it happened to be the first day and Dean didn’t have a lot of homework yet, he spent the time hanging out with Jo in the library. Well, his AP teachers had already warned him that there was going to be a lot of work this year and that they better start studying now. But hey he was a senior; he could relax a bit before the teachers really started on piling on with the homework. So he spent the time hanging out with Jo in the library and doing pretty much nothing. During that time, he had found out that Jo also thought what Ruby had said was pretty weird and that she was a bit wary of her.Dean agreed with her but at the same time told her that they were probably too paranoid for no reason. Ruby was probably just making small talk.

After Sam was done with his classes and Dean had driven them home, the brothers changed and then decided to eat some dinner as their dad was staying late at work that day. As Sam sat at the table and worked on his homework (how he had homework the first day as a freshman, Dean did not know but decided not to ask) and Dean heated up some leftovers for dinner, Dean asked Sam how his first day of high school had been and how he had liked the school so far.

Sam responded that he liked most of his teachers, even the tough ones. He also told Dean that his friend, Gabriel from middle school was in some of the same classes as him, which he was glad about and that he made friends with another kid named Sully.

Then Sam decided that it was enough sharing on his part and decided to ask Dean about his day. He was most interested in the new girl as he asked Dean who she was and what her name was.

“Ruby.” Dean said absentmindedly as he placed the heated lasagna on the table and passed a plate to Sam. “Why?”

Sam closed his notebook and pushed it to the side as he accepted the plate. “No reason.” But his reddened ears and neck told a different story.

“Aww, you like her.” Dean said teasingly, reaching to pinch Sam’s ear. Sam waved Dean away and piled some lasagna onto his plate.

“No, I don’t. I was just wondering who she was, I haven’t seen her around before.”

“Well, good. She’s too old for you anyway.” Dean said and got a helping of lasagna for himself.

Sam snorted but didn’t say anything else and the rest of the evening passed by quietly. 


	37. Chapter 37

_October 2015_

Dean was leaning against the school building and though the crunch of the leaves nearby alerted him of the person, he didn’t have time to hide the evidence so he decided not to.

“What are you doing?” Cas crossed his arms as he came closer to Dean and glared at him.

“I’m smoking, you want one?” Dean offered up the pack to Cas. When Cas did not respond, Dean put the pack back in his pocket.

“Dean.”

“What?” Dean said, avoiding Cas’s gaze.

“You really shouldn’t be smoking.” Cas said. When Dean didn’t react, he stepped closer to his boyfriend, pulled on Dean’s sleeve and spat out with as much venom as he could, “Why the fuck are you smoking?”

As Cas rarely cursed, his profanity shocked Dean out of his stupor. Looking at Cas, Dean decided to cut the games and that he should go with honesty.

Dean looked Cas in the eyes and said, “This whole test, I can’t do it, I- if I fail, there’s no way I am going to college.” Then he turned away and continued smoking, well for the next ten seconds up until Cas grabbed the cigarette from his fingers and threw it on the ground, stomping on it to put it out.

Then Cas grabbed his face with both his hands, gently petting his face as he said, “Dean Winchester, that is complete bullshit. You are smart and you will do great on this test.” Then he pushed Dean against the building and kissed him, roughly and deep, not letting the taste of nicotine bother him. He hoped he was getting his message across.

Apparently he was successful because Dean now had a grin on his face and as he rested his forehead against Dean’s, Dean said, “okay, let’s go take that test, babe.”

Cas smiled and they walked inside the school building and stood in line as they waited to be seated for the SAT. Only later, when he was sitting in his seat and the proctor was handing out the test did he realize that that was the first time Dean had called him babe.

Cas had a smile on for the remainder of the test even if most of the students and the proctor were confused by his happiness.


	38. Chapter 38

_November 2015_

Ash came into the classroom and threw his bag next to his desk and said, “Dr. Badass has arrived to save the day.”

Dean rolled his eyes and said, “We were doing well without you.”

“You’re just jealous of all this.” Ash gestured at his body.

“Did you study?” Ruby interrupted their conversation and turned around so that she was now facing Ash.

“Nope, don’t need to study. It’s all up in here anyway.” Ash said as he pointed at his head.

“Riiight.” Ruby said and turned back to flipping through her textbook.

“How much dope are you on right now?” Dean said teasingly.

Ash stuck his tongue out. “Nada señor, I’m a fucking genius.”

“I think you mean senorita.” Ruby gave a cruel smile. One of these days, Dean was going to kill her.

He looked at Jo, who sat on the other side of him and noticed that she was biting her lower lip while shaking from laughter. He couldn’t believe that he had lost her to the evil duo.

He glanced at Castiel, who was sitting in the front. Castiel had his head down so Dean wasn’t sure what he was doing. Could’ve been reading or writing or even drawing. Who really knew when it came to Castiel? He smiled. Cas was adorable.

And then at that moment Dean guessed that fate wasn’t on his side because Ruby decided to lift her head up from her textbook and caught his stare. “Aww, is someone in love?” said Ruby smirking.

Dean blushed.

“He totally is,” Jo said and snickered. “What do you think, Ash?”

“All I’m saying is that you should be  _safe_ , Deano. Don’t want to end up with something unplanned.” A sly smile appeared on Ash’s face.

“Dude, that’s not even physically possible.” Dean said, disgust evident in his voice. He really needed new friends.

“In fanfic, it is.” Becky said dreamily from her seat all the way in front.

Dean wondered how she heard them from her seat. He had had spoken with Becky a few times before and from their brief encounters he decided that it would best for him to stay  _far far_  away from her. The girl had a knack for using all the school gossip in her stories. It was pretty annoying and a bit creepy. Okay,  _very_ creepy.

“Oka-ay.” Dean said uncertainly.

“That girl is either on drugs or so delusional, it’s not even funny.” Ruby whispered under her breath.

Apparently Becky had bat-like hearing because a second later, she jumped out of her seat so quickly and had her hands in fists, ready for a fight.

Dean laughed at the sight. He knew that if a fight would break out between the two girls, Becky wouldn’t have a chance. Familiar blue eyes stared at him from across the classroom and he noticed the disapproving look. He quickly stopped laughing.  _Fuck those stupid beautiful big blue eyes that made Dean melt in a puddle and could get him to do anything he wanted._

“You want to say something to me?” asked Becky looking challengingly at Ruby.

“Nothing much. Just that you’re nuts.” Ruby shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s it,  _bitch,_ it is so on.” Becky braced herself for launching into attack-mode when Mr.Jones waltzed in the room and told Becky to sit down and if she wouldn’t do that within three seconds, she wouldn’t be taking the test at all. Becky quickly ran back to her seat.

 Flipping through the test, Dean was glad that he had been right about the essay question.  _There is a god._ He thought as he quickly answered the multiple-choice questions.


	39. Chapter 39

_Middle of December 2015_

One afternoon in December Dean came home from his swim meet to find Sam and Ruby sitting at the dining room table, huddled so close together that their foreheads were almost touching. Dean cleared his throat. “What is going on here?”

Sam, flustered, jumped back when he saw his brother. “Nothing’s going on, we were um, we were just studying.”

Ruby smiled sweetly at Dean and reiterated, “Yep, we were  _just_ studying.”  Somehow, Dean didn’t quite believe that.

So, he asked Ruby to follow him into the kitchen. When they walked into the kitchen, Dean walked up to the sink and motioned to Ruby to come stand next to him. She came up to him and muttered, “ _What_?”

He turned on the water so that Sam wouldn’t be able to hear before angrily saying to her, “What do you think you’re doing?”

She smiled coyly and twirled a finger around a strand of her hair. “ _Nothing_ , Dean.”

“Don’t do that shit,” Dean said. “He's four years younger than you.”

Ruby’s coy smile faltered. She sighed and placed an arm on Dean’s shoulder placating. “Dean, relax, I was just joking,” She said. “Your kid brother’s adorable,” She added on, smiling. “But as you said, he’s four years younger than me and that would unacceptable, not to mention gross,” She pulled a face. “I do have standards, you know.”

Dean nodded. He felt more at ease now. But he still wanted to know why Ruby was here.  “Then what are you doing here?”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Jesus, you really are overprotective. We're here to study. The kid asked me to tutor him.”

“Tutor him?” Dean asked, surprised. “That kid’s a genius.”

“Well, he definitely isn’t a genius in Spanish,” Ruby replied. Then she pointed at the sink that was now overflowing with water and said, “Might want to turn that off.”

As Dean mumbled, “Shit,” and turned to turn the faucet off, Ruby sauntered away, back into the dining room.

As he turned off the faucet and started to make dinner, he heard her say to Sam, “Cómo estás?”

At Sam’s hopelessly uttered, ‘huh,’ Dean snorted. His brother really was bad at Spanish.

* * *

_A few days later_

Dean and Cas were at the park hanging out and Dean was telling the story of Ruby being over to tutor Sam and how worried he was that Ruby would try something.

As he recounted what happened, he was looking at Cas, who was listening to him intently,  nodding along in all the right places, and looking so earnestly at Dean when it hit him.

_He was in love and he was so, so, fucked._

His stomach was queasy and he thought he was going to be sick. Cas asked him something else but Dean clearly wasn’t listening as all of a sudden, he blurted out, “I love you.”

Cas stopped talking. Then he blinked, taken aback. “ _What_?”

“I love you,” Dean said it again. Then he ran up to a nearby trash can and vomited into it.

“Well that definitely wasn't how I had imagined you telling me,” Cas said teasingly as he rubbed Dean’s back soothingly and then offered him a water bottle. Dean graciously accepted the water bottle and gulped it down.

Once he was finished drinking the water, he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt and laughed. Then he coughed. His throat was still a bit sore from throwing up so he drank some more water.

“I guess it just really scared me to admit that,” Dean said. Then he smiled sheepishly. “Probably should’ve picked a better time to tell you.”

“Dean,” Cas said softly. “You know when you’re in a car and your favorite song starts to play but then it turns out that you’re almost home but you want to listen to it over and over and you never want it to end?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, but what does music have to do with this?”

“The way someone feels about their favorite song is the way I feel whenever I'm with you," Cas said. "Whenever we’re on a date, I never want our time together to end,” Cas smiled brightly. “Dean, the point is that I love you, too.”

Dean smiled back. “I would kiss you right now but you know, I did just vomit.”  Cas laughed at that.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, just gazing at each other when Dean broke out into a grin. “So, you imagined me telling you I love you, huh? Was I riding a horse or was I in a cape or was it both?”

Cas blushed. “Oh _, shut up_.”


	40. Chapter 40

_January 24th  2016_

Winter break had come and gone and soon Dean’s birthday had arrived. Dean didn’t really want to throw a big party so he had a small gathering of family and friends at his house. And it had gone quite smoothly, just as he’d hoped.

At school the next day, as they were walking to class, Ash punched Cas lightly in the arm and teasingly remarked, “So how does it feel to not be dating jailbait anymore, Cas?”

Ruby giggled. Jo look mildly offended but snickered as well. Dean and Cas unanimously said, “Shut up, Ash,” and then smiled at each other.

* * *

_Mid-March 2016_

The months after they had returned to school from break had passed quickly and spring was right around the corner. One late afternoon after school, Cas came over to study with Dean. Well, “to study.” In reality, they were going to make out until eventually Cas would pull away from Dean and say, “we really do have to study.” Dean would argue at first but then relented and so they’d separate and take out their notebooks and start doing their homework.

But that day, before they could separate, his dad who had been walking up the stairs had hollered, “Hey Dean, I’m making dinner. Do you want burgers or stea-” John opened the door and finished with, “- Steak?”

Cas and Dean sat apart quickly and pretended to be engrossed in their books. But it was pointless. Their faces were flushed, their hair was crumpled and the notebook Cas was holding up was upside down.

“Burgers,” Dean answered flatly, without looking up from his book.

“You sure?” John asked, not yet ready to broach what he had just walked into. And also, quite unsure how to.  

“Yes, I am sure,” Dean gritted his teeth and his grip on the book he was holding tightened.

John, glanced at Cas, who was still pretending to be engrossed in his notebook.

“Castiel,” John said. “Maybe it’s better if you leave.”

Cas and Dean looked up at John questioningly.

John reiterated. “I mean, I’d like to talk with my son.”

Castiel nodded. He wasn’t going to argue. Dean and his dad needed to talk and he didn’t want to get in the middle of that. He packed up his backpack and left Dean’s bedroom quietly.

He’d text Dean later to make sure everything was okay.

* * *

After Cas left, John tentatively sat on Dean’s bed. Dean was lying on the bed and had turned away from his dad.

“So, when did this start?” His dad asked.

 “A while back.” Dean refused to turn around. 

“Okay,” John said and then sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Dean, I need you to know that I’ll need some time to get used to this.”

“What?” Dean asked incredulously.

“I said- I’ll need to-”

“I heard you,” Dean interjected. “The first time.” Then he snorted. Clearly, his dad didn't understand.

“What?”

Dean turned over and stared coldly in his father’s eyes. “Funny how I remember you saying you were going to accept me no matter what back when I was little.” Dean heaved a sigh. “I guess mom died and you changed your mind.” Then he turned back to staring at the wall.

“ _Dean_.”

Dean said nothing.

“Dean, that was different,” John said. “You were young and we didn’t think you were gay or that you would actually be dating Cas.”

Dean snorted again. “I’m not, I’m bisexual. There’s a difference, dad.”

“I do know the difference, Dean,” John said with an edge to his voice. “Listen Dean, I didn’t want to offend you by what I said, it’s just going to take some time to get used to you and Cas together.”

“Okay,” Dean said bleakly.  

“Okay,” John answered. “Well then, I’m going to go make dinner.” And then John got up and left Dean’s bedroom.

Once Dean was sure his dad was out of earshot, he got out his small duffle bag and packed some essentials into it.

Then he opened his window and was about to climb out but before he did, he wrote a note and left it on his desk. It said, "I'm going to spend some days at Cas's."


	41. Chapter 41

Cas and Anna were eating dinner when they heard the doorbell. They looked at each other questioningly. They weren’t sure who it could be as neither of them were expecting anyone today.

Cas said he would go check it out before he got up from the table. When he opened the door, his mouth fell open a bit. Dean stood at the door and he looked absolutely  _wrecked_.

“Dean, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Can I stay here?” Dean asked as he fell back on the couch and sighed.

“Of course,” Cas said. “But could you tell me what happened?”

“Yes, I’d like to know why I’m going to be harboring a fugitive teenager,” Anna added on after she came into the living room.

“Doesn’t matter that I’m a teenager,” Dean said. “Legally, I’m eighteen he can’t make me go home.”

Anna snorted. “Legal, my ass. Your dad’s not going to care about that.”

Dean sat up. “I don’t give a shit about what he does or doesn’t care about.”

Cas crossed his arms and sighed. “What did he say, Dean?”

Dean glanced at Anna and then back at Cas. He didn’t really want to talk about it in front of Anna.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you two alone,” Anna said and wandered off to her bedroom.

“After he caught us, he said, he said- ”

“What?” Cas said gently. He took a seat next to Dean and intertwined their fingers. “What did he say?”

“He said that ‘he’ll need some time to get use to me.” Dean sighed.

Cas rubbed Dean’s thumb. “C’mon, Dean, that’s not the worst that could’ve happened.”

“I know, I know, It’s just what the fuck? ‘I’ll need some time to get used to you’ Who fucking says that?” Dean said, “To a kid who just came out, no less.”

Cas untwined their fingers. “My father would probably say something worse if he knew,” He said before averting his gaze.  

“Yeah, well your father can kiss my ass,” Dean said. “He’s probably kissing someone else’s ass in prison.”

Cas barked a laugh. He hated his old man and he hoped the guy got everything he had deserved.  “Just for that, you can stay as long as you want.”

Dean smiled gently at him and pulled him into a hug.

* * *

_That night_

Dean was sleeping on the couch when he heard a buzzing noise. It took him a few minutes before he was fully awake and realized that it was his phone that was buzzing.

He glanced at the clock hanging above the wall. It was twelve in the morning and so he wondered who could be calling him so late.

As he lay there, he brought the phone up to his ear and swiped to answer. “Hello,” He said, before he yawned.

"Oh, thank god you picked up,” Sam said on the other line. He sounded frantic. Suddenly Dean was very alert.

Dean sat up. "Sam? What’s-" Dean cleared his throat. “-What's wrong?"

"It's dad, Dean."

Dean had a queasy feeling in his stomach. "What happened?"

“Um, well after you left and we had dinner and saw your note, dad wanted to get you but I told him to leave you alone because I knew you’d want your space and he reluctantly agreed and then we decided to watch T.V. but then- ”

“Sam, get to the point,” Dean interrupted.

“Well- anyway, before we went to sleep, he noticed that there were no more frosted flakes left and no milk and he said he’d go out and get some at the local store,”

“And?” Dean interjected again.

“And another car hit him!” Dean could hear blubbering across the phone. But Sam kept talking through his sniffles. “The hospital called me like fifteen minutes ago and I didn’t know what to do so I said I’d call you and call them back.”

“Sammy?”

Sam stopped sniffling. “Yeah?”

“I’ll be right there,” Dean said before he turned his phone off and started to pull on his clothes. He grabbed his keys and was about to leave when he heard a noise. He looked around and saw Cas standing in the hallway.

Cas approached him. “Where are you going? What happened?”

“My dad-” Dean took a shaky breath- “My dad was in a car accident. I have to go get Sam and my car and then we have to drive to the hospital.”

"I don't think you should drive right now,” Cas remarked.

"I have to, I have to..." Dean kept repeating. He couldn't think straight. He kept pacing around the room, desperately trying to find something that he was sure wasn’t even lost.

Cas walked up to Dean and grabbed his chin so that he was looking directly in his eyes. "Dean, you have to listen to me," Cas said firmly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to drive.”

Dean swallowed and then sighed heavily. “Okay.”

"I’ll drive. Okay?"

"Okay," Dean repeated.


	42. Chapter 42

_That same night_

After Cas and Dean had gone to Dean’s house and gotten Sam, Cas drove to the hospital while Dean and Sam sat in the backseat, both trying to comfort one another.

When they got the hospital, as soon as Cas had parked the car, Dean and Sam bolted out of the car and into the hospital and Cas, who was lagging behind the brothers ran after them, trying to catch up.

Once they had gotten through the doors and asked for their fathers’ room number, they took the elevator and were met by a doctor who was standing outside their fathers’ room.

“Where is he?” Dean yelled while breathing heavily.

“I’m Dr. Johnson and who might you be?” The doctor said, quirking an eyebrow.  

“Where is he?” This time it was Sam who asked. “Where’s our dad?”

Dr. Johnson’s face softened upon his realization. “He’s inside now.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Dean asked.

“I-” Dr. Johnson hesitated. Then he cleared his throat. “Your father lost a lot of blood and has been injured badly. He will most likely need surgery. We are going to do some tests and then he will be taken to surgery.”

Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat. “What can we do?”

“Right now, there is not much you can do,” The doctor said. Upon seeing the stricken expressions on their faces, he added on, “But you can go inside and talk to him. He is awake.”

As they were about to walk in, the doctor cleared his throat again. They turned to him. “I should warn you though, it may be upsetting to see your father in this state.”

They nodded at him and then he left.

When they walked into the hospital room, it was quiet.  _Eerily_  quiet. That’s when Sam and Dean took note of their dad.

He was lying on the hospital bed, bloodied, bruised and was all bandaged up.  

“Dean, Sam,” John croaked from the bed. “And Cas? What are you doing here?” He tried to move up but then groaned from the pain and laid back down.

“He drove us here, dad,” Sam answered.

John nodded and smiled weakly at Sam. He patted a spot on his bed and Sam went to sit next to him.

John turned his head and looked at his eldest son. Dean was standing there, staring at the wall behind him. He had a vacant look in his eyes.

“Sammy, Cas, can I talk to Dean alone for a bit?” John asked.

Dean looked startled. So, did Cas and Sam.

“It’s alright,” John said, trying reassure them. “It won’t be long and you can come back in after.”

Once they left, John patted the spot on the bed just like he had done moments before with Sam. Dean contemplated it. 

“Dean,” John said, “ _Please_.”

Dean sat down. He looked around the room. There was nothing special about it really. White curtains, white walls, and a white floor. The only thing that stood out was a small flower in a pot sitting on the windowsill. Dean looked away from it.

“You know I was going to-” John coughed, then cleared his throat. “I was going tell you before, it wasn’t right what I said.”

“Don’t worry about it, dad,” Dean said and his voice cracked.

“No, I have to worry about,” John said. “I didn’t handle it correctly and I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Cas is a great guy. I was just startled, alright?”

Dean nodded at that. He didn’t know what he else he could say.

“Well what’d they say, then?”

“Who?”

“The doctors, Dean.”

“You’ll probably need surgery,” Dean said. “They are going to run some tests and then take you in to surgery.”

John nodded or at least what seemed to be a nod. “Listen, Dean, take Sam and Cas home. You guys don’t have to be here-”

As Dean began to protest, John added on, “-And I don’t want Sam to keep seeing me like this. He doesn't need to worry.”

Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat again and blinked several times. He refused to cry. “Okay, dad.”

“But could you bring Sam in before you guys leave?” John asked.

“Sure.”

When Dean returned with his brother, John asked Sam to come sit next to him. “Sammy, Dean and Cas are going to go home and I want you to go with them.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Sam said.

“It’s alright, I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” John answered his son. “I’ll be fine. Now go home and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He motioned to Sam to come in for a hug as he himself couldn’t quite get up and then motioned to Dean to join them.

“It’ll be alright, it will all be alright,” John remarked, as he hugged his sons. It was as if he was speaking to himself rather than to his sons.

* * *

_Later that same night_

When they got back to Dean’s and Sam’s house, Sam immediately went to sleep. Cas and Dean retired to Dean’s room. And while Dean went to the bathroom and changed, Cas had texted Anna telling her that there he would be staying at the Winchesters and after reassuring his sister that he was okay, he changed into the pajamas Dean had lent him.

Then he sat down on Dean’s bed and picked up a comic book lying nearby.

He was a bit nervous. They hadn’t shared a bed before. In the past, there was always two beds and they hadn’t been dating back then. And sure, they had made out on this bed several times and had done some other stuff but they had never slept in it together. This was  _different_.

That was when Dean emerged from the bathroom, clad in his pajamas.

Dean sat next to Cas on his bed. He gently pulled the book out from Cas’s hand and put it on his desk. “Didn’t know you liked comic books.”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t really but I thought I might look over it while you were changing.”

“Oh,” Dean said. Then smiled gently. It was the first genuine smile Cas had seen since Dean had come to his place. Dean took Cas’s hand into his. Then he pulled Cas in and gave him a short kiss.

Cas reciprocated and pulled Dean closer. Dean then pulled Cas onto his lap and tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Cas stopped kissing him and looked at Dean. “Are you sure? We haven’t done this before.”

“I know,” Dean answered. “But I want to, do you?”

“Yes, Dean,” Cas said. “God, of course, I want to.”

Dean leaned up and kissed Cas again. “Okay, but I have to lock the door first.”

Then Dean got up and locked the room. When he came back to his bed, he kissed Cas again and then pushed him down gently onto the bed. The world outside was soon forgotten.

* * *

_Early morning_

In the early morning, when Dean woke up, he glanced at Cas and smiled at him before pressing a kiss to his forehead. Then he got out of bed and was about to go to the bathroom when he heard his phone buzzing.

He glanced at it and saw it was the hospital.

And before he even answered the phone, he knew.

He knew right away what had happened.


	43. Chapter 43

The funeral was a quiet and short affair. Besides Dean and Sam, Bobby and some of John’s army friends had also come to show their support and give their respects.

As the casket was lowered into the ground, Dean came to a realization. This was  _it_. He would never see either of his parents again.

It was at that moment that he wanted to yell. At everyone and everything. At the universe for causing him to lose both of his parents by the time he was eighteen years old.

But he didn’t. He didn’t shout or yell or cry out. He didn’t shed a tear. He didn’t even move from the spot he was standing on. He was frozen to the spot, the one that was next to his brother.

Because he knew. He knew he had to stay strong for his little brother, Sammy. Because Sam couldn’t be strong for himself. 

* * *

_A few days later_

“I’m going to sell the house,” Dean announced when they were sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch. Well, eating was an over exaggeration. Neither he or his brother had actually touched their food that much in the past few days. Which was actually starting to concern Dean. He knew what grief could do to people and even though he himself wasn’t too keen on eating at that moment, he made sure his little brother ate something every once in a while.

Sam glanced up from his plate. He pushed it away and said, “ _What_?”

Dean bit his lower lip. He wasn’t sure how this was going to go. “I’m selling the house,” he repeated.

“Why?”

Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “C’mon, Sam, be reasonable, we can’t live here-” At Sam’s protests, Dean added, “We can’t afford it. Anyway, I talked to Bobby and he and Ellen said they’d help me sell the house. And after that’s done, we’re going to move in with Bobby.”

“Fuck no,” Sam said as he got up and the legs of the chair he was sitting on scraped against the floor, making an awful squeaking sound. 

“Sam,” Dean warned. 

Sam glared back at him. “No, don’t  _Sam_  me. I don’t want to move in with Bobby. Not after- not-” Sam swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Dean, dad just- he  _just_ died.” 

Dean’s eyes softened. “I know that.”

“Dad just died,” Sam said again. “And I don’t even remember mom.” Sam’s lip trembled. “How is that fair? How is that fucking fair?” He shouted and then tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Dean got up and pulled his little brother in for a hug. “It’s not, Sammy, it’s not fair at all. But we can’t keep living in this house. I know you hate that and I don't want to leave either but it makes sense for us right now and I know you miss dad but you know what?” Dean asked.

“What?”

“I miss him too,” Dean admitted, letting a few tears slip for the first time in days.

At that, Sam cried harder.


	44. Chapter 44

_Beginning of May 2016_

As planned, with the help of Bobby and Ellen, Dean managed to sell the house and after that, Dean and Sam packed up their things and moved in with Bobby. Time went by and little by little, things started to fall into place.

They were, of course still dealing with their father’s sudden death. But as the months had gone on, it got easier for them to deal with it.

A few months in, one Saturday when Sam had gone out to meet with friends and Dean had stayed home, Dean was in the kitchen eating when Bobby came home from running errands. He walked into the kitchen and went to get a beer from the fridge. Then, he told Dean that he had some news.  

Dean looked up from his sandwich at Bobby. He didn’t like the hesitant look on Bobby’s face.

“What it is it?” Dean asked cautiously. 

Bobby opened his beer and then scratched his beard before taking a sip. “Dean, a buddy of mine, Rufus- he uh- he said that got a place for you two boys.”

Dean began his protests. “Bobby, I don’t know if it’s a good idea-”

Bobby waved his protests away and said, “I know you boys like it here and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re here but you’re eighteen now, Dean and if you wanted, you and Sam could move out and live on your own and you gotta admit, Sam could use his own room.” Bobby quirked his eyebrow at that. Bobby slapped Dean’s shoulder as he walked past him and out of the kitchen. “Just think about it.”

Dean swallowed what remained of his sandwich. “Okay, we’ll think about it.”

“Alright but don’t think too long, Rufus is going to need an answer soon.”

* * *

_Mid- May 2016_

After talking it out with Sam, they both agreed that the right decision was to move out of Bobby’s and into the apartment Rufus had offered them.

It had been hard for them to part with Bobby but they knew it was for the best. They, especially Dean, needed to learn how to live independently. Dean had some money saved up from his past summer jobs and both he and his brother had some money saved from the holidays so that would help them pay off the bills for now. And after school ended in a month, they would both get jobs.

After they moved into their own place, everything eventually fell back into routine. However, once in a while, Dean would go into coughing fits for a while and he also started getting headaches every few days. Sam told him that he should consider going to the doctor but Dean thought it was probably just due to the stress of having to dealing with everything hat had been thrown in his face the past few months.

One weekend, Bobby came to visit them and after he came through the door and hugged both boys, he said to Dean, “Son, you been eating? Looks like you lost some weight.”

Dean forced a smile. “Yes, I have been eating. Believe it or not, I do know that I have to eat.”

“ _Dean_ ,” Sam said.

“Watch your tongue, boy,” Bobby said as he gave his coat to Dean.

“Sorry,” Dean said as hung up Bobby’s coat. “I dunno, I guess I have lost some weight.”

Bobby grunted in response and then went to get himself a beer from the kitchen.

* * *

Later, when the three of them were eating lunch, Dean had another one of his coughing fits. But this one wasn’t as short as the other ones. It got so bad that he had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom, where he stood over the sink and coughed so much that he had throw up. When he finished vomiting, he looked at the sink and felt his stomach drop. There was blood in the sink. He had vomited blood. He thought he was going to be sick.  _Again_.

After he had washed up, Dean returned from the bathroom bearing a grin that he hoped was convincing but the looks on Sam and Bobby’s faces told him that there was no use in pretending.

Bobby sighed and said, “Son, I think you should go to the doctor.”  

“I told him that a few weeks ago,” Sam piped up. “But he wouldn’t listen to me.”

Dean glared at him. “I don’t need to go to the doctor.”

Bobby sighed again. “Listen, son, I’m not saying you have something, you might not be ill at all but we’ve lost a lot of people these past few years and I don’t want to add you to the list.”

Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Okay, you guys win, I’ll go to the doctor.”

* * *

_Later that night_

Before going to bed, Dean knocked on Sam’s door.

“Come in,” Sam yelled from the other side of the room.

Dean turned the door handle. When he walked in, he saw Sam in his pajamas on his bed reading a book. Dean glanced at the backpack on his desk chair that was already packed for tomorrow and his chest swelled. He loved his nerdy organized brother and he could not imagine what he would do if the doctor told him that something was  _truly_  wrong with him.

Sam glanced at him and smirked. “Are you just going to stand there all night or did you need something?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I wanted to tell you that I –uh-”

“Yes?” Sam asked.

“Recently, me and Cas, we talked and he said that after graduation, he’s going to go back to visit his foster family,” Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat and bit his lip.

Sam closed his book and put it to the side. “Oh, Dean, I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” Dean said. “But he’s not going away for a long time and anyway, that’s not what I wanted to tell you.”

Sam gave him a confused glance. “Then what?”

“Listen, Sammy, I’m going to the doctor like you and Bobby suggested.”

“Okay-” Sam gave him a questioning look. “And?”

“And if something is really wrong with me, I need you to promise me that you won't tell Cas about it.”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam said hesitantly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure, please Sammy, if we find out that there’s something really wrong with me, don’t tell Cas. He needs to live his life and I can’t be the reason that keeps him from doing the things he wants to do.”

Sam sighed deeply. “Okay, Dean, I promise.”


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter forty-five

_Beginning of June 2016_

Dean couldn’t even think about it, forget saying it aloud. He knew what the doctor had told him but he didn’t think he would ever be able to wrap his head around it.

All he could think about was the fact that he was going to die. Oh god, he was going to die. This was it for him. He only got to have eighteen years, and they weren’t such great years at that. Fuck, he was going to die. And there was nothing he could do about it.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam asked. “What did the doctor say?”

Dean had just gotten home from another doctor’s appointment and for the past half hour, he had been sitting on the couch, not saying a thing.

“Dean?” Sam asked again.  

Dean stared at the wall and did not respond. 

“Dean, please tell me. I’m your brother,” Sam pleaded.

“I- I- ” Dean began but was unable to finish.

“You what?”

“I have cancer,” Dean answered finally, his voice cracking on the last word. “I have cancer, Sammy.” He repeated and then his body started shake as he started to sob.

Right away, Sam came over and pulled him into a hug. “Shh, Dean, it’ll be okay.”

Dean nodded shakily and pretended not to hear the sniffles emitting from his brother.

“I’m not going to leave you Sammy,” Dean said when he had calmed and saw that his brother was still crying.

“I’m going to fight this,” He added on even though he wasn’t so sure.

Then, he wiped his nose against his sleeve and said, “I’m not going anywhere so stop your sniffling. And come here,” Dean said before pulling Sam into another hug.

Later after they’ve talked about the treatment plan, which Dean and his doctor agreed to start after graduation, Dean again asked Sam not to tell Cas.

“Please don’t tell him,” Dean said, pleadingly.

“Are you sure?” Sam said hesitantly. “I mean, he would want to know and it’s a pretty big to thing to keep secret.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Dean answered sternly. “He doesn’t need to be tied down here because of me.”

“He’s not going to be tied -” Sam began but didn’t finish because Dean interrupted him.

“ _Sam_ ,” Dean said warningly.

“Fine,” Sam retorted. “But just know I don’t think it’s a good idea that you’ve decided not to tell him.”

* * *

_Graduation_

It had been several hours since the ceremony had begun and quite honestly, Dean couldn’t wait to get the hell out of the auditorium. It was very humid and his gown and cap were itchy and he just wanted to get the hell out of there. He wished that they would call his name already because this was getting ridiculous.

And right about when he was contemplating on whether or not, he could run outside for a few minutes, his name was called.

He ran up to the stage, shook his principal’s hand and took the fake diploma that was thrust into his hand.

Then he looked into the audience and when he located Cas, Bobby and Sam, he smiled and waved at them.

They waved back as he walked off the stage.

He couldn’t believe he was finally done with high school.

_Later that day_

Dean, Cas and their friends were going to meet up later to celebrate their graduation. But before they could do that, Dean wanted to change and since Cas was staying over at his and Sam’s apartment that night, he went with Dean so that he could leave his belongings there and also change. 

“We finally made it,” Dean said after he changed into a shirt and jeans.

Cas, who had already changed and was sitting on Dean’s bed smiled up at Dean and replied, “Yeah we did.”

“So..” Dean said.

“So..” Cas retorted.

“You’re going back to visit your foster family, right?” Dean asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Yes, Anna and I are leaving tomorrow afternoon.”

“And you’re staying there the whole summer, right?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Cas said, giving Dean a confused glance. “I thought I told you that.”

“Yeah, you did, it’s just-” Dean coughed and scratched the back of his neck. “I’m just going to miss you, Cas.”

At that, Cas’s eyes softened. “Oh Dean, I’ll miss you too. But we’ll text and Skype and before you know it’ll be the end of August.”

“Yeah and then what?” Dean asked as he put on his Keds. “Are you going to KU? Have you decided yet?”

Cas sighed. “I’m not sure yet. I was thinking of deferring like I told you but Anna might kill me if I don’t go to college right away. Plus, I don’t really know what I would do if I didn’t go to college right away. How about you? Going to KU in the fall?”

“Yep, going to KU. Haven’t decided on what I’ll major in it yet though,” Dean said and swallowed, hoping Cas wouldn’t pick up on the tone of his voice changing. Cas didn’t know about him having cancer and that he was going in for chemotherapy in a week and Dean was going to keep it that way, no matter what Sam had said.

“I’m sure whatever it is you’ll major in, it’ll be great.” Cas smiled up at Dean.

Dean smiled back at him as he grabbed his wallet and keys. “Thanks, Cas but you’re the one who’s going to change the world.”

“You are already changed the world for me,” Cas replied.

“Cas,” Dean said, turning away from Cas so he wouldn’t see Dean wiping his eyes. “What am I supposed to say to that?”

“I love you would be nice.”

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled gently at Cas. “I love you, Cas.” Then he sat on the bed next to Cas and pulled him in for a kiss before pushing Cas down onto the bed.

Cas kissed him back but then gently pushed Dean off of him and said, “I love you too but we can’t do that now. We have to go meet our friends.”

“Our friends can wait,” Dean said, winking.

“Dean, c’mon, we’re already late.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Dean said grumpily. “But tonight, Sam better put on his headphones.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Assbut,” He said before pulling Dean in for another kiss.

* * *

_The next day_

The next day, after Cas had left and they had said their goodbyes, he, Bobby and Sam had gone to a nearby diner for lunch.  It was more of a brunch but Bobby had previously said that as long as he was living, he was never going to utter the word, “brunch.” So Dean and Sam decided to just call it a lunch and then called up Bobby to see if he would be able to come.

After they were seated in their booth and ordered their meals, Bobby bombarded Dean with all types of questions. At first, he asked Dean how was he doing and how he was feeling. 

“I’m okay right now,” Dean answered as he sipped on his coffee.

Bobby nodded. “And when are you starting treatment?”

“Next week,” Dean replied shortly.

“You know I heard that the sooner you start the treatment, the higher your chances are. Of course, that’s not always the case but I’m sure you’ll beat this.” Bobby said and then kept on rambling on about all the different treatments. 

That was when Dean decided to stare out the window and not utter a word.

Sam coughed. “Bobby.”

Bobby then turned around to glance at Sam, who had nodded in Dean’s direction. “I don’t think Dean wants to talk about it.”

“Oh Dean, I’m sorry,” Bobby said before adding on, “I just worry about you boys. I’ll stop asking you questions. But just know that I’m there for you, son.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Thank you, Bobby.”

* * *

_A week later_

Apparently, Sam wasn’t good at listening because at this moment, Cas stood right in front of Dean as he sat in his wheelchair, waiting for his treatment to begin.

“You _promised_ ,” Dean said accusingly and glared at Sam. “You promised you wouldn’t fucking tell him.”

“I’m sorry, okay.” Sam threw his hands in the air. “But I knew you would need him and I couldn’t stand to see you in pain.”

“Plus you’ve been really grumpy the past week,” Sam added on.

Dean glared again at his brother and then glanced at Cas. “Can we talk in private?” He darted his eyes at Sam, who got the hint and walked out of the hospital room.

“So Sam told you, huh?”

“Yeah, he did and you know what I want to know?” Cas crossed his arms. “When the fuck were you planning on telling me?”

“Hmm, let me think,” Dean put his fingers onto his chin as if he was contemplating on how to answer the question. Then he spat out, “Maybe never.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“So you weren’t going to tell your boyfriend of two years that you were diagnosed with lung cancer?” Cas uncrossed his arms, then crossed them again. “You didn’t think I should know.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at Cas. “No, I didn’t,” Dean said. “I didn’t think you needed to know that.” He hoped Cas couldn’t read through his lies. He didn’t want Cas to stay. Cas shouldn't be here. He needed to be spending time with his foster family and then getting ready for college or his gap year, whichever he had decided. He needed to live his own life and Dean wouldn't ruin that for him, no matter how much he wanted Cas to stay.

Cas sighed and asked, “Dean, why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Being an ass.”

“I’m not being an ass, I just don’t want you here,” Dean replied curtly.  

“You really don’t want me here?”

“Yes,” Dean lied.

“Okay, if that’s truly what you want- ”

“It is.”

“Then, I’ll leave.”

“You do that.”

Cas glanced back at Dean sitting in the bed. He looked so small and all he wanted to do was pull Dean in his arms but if Dean wanted him to leave, he would do that. “Fine, I’ll leave.” He grabbed the door handle but before he opened the door, he said, “Just know, I’ll always be there for you if you need me.”

Dean did not respond.

* * *

_Outside in the hospital hall_

Sam got up from the couch he was sitting on and approached Cas.

“So did you talk to him?” Sam asked.

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And I’m leaving,” Cas said before he turned around and started to walk to the elevator.

Sam walked quickly to catch up with Cas before he got the chance to get on the elevator. “What? What the hell, Cas?”

Cas sighed. “I’m sorry, Sam but your brother said he doesn’t want me here.”

“C’mon, Cas, he’s obviously lying.” Sam said. “I love my brother but sometimes he can be such a stupid martyr. You have to know that this whole ‘I don’t need you here’ is just a bunch of bullshit to get you to leave so he doesn’t feel guilty about keeping you here.”

Cas shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not but no matter how much I want to stay, he wants me to leave and I love him so I’ll do anything I can to make him happy and right now if he wants me to leave, I’ll respect that.”

Sam’s expression softened. “Cas,” He said gently.

The elevator had just arrived and Cas stepped into it. Before the doors closed, Cas said, “I’m sorry Sam but I have to go.”

* * *

_Back in the hospital room_

After Cas had left, Dean looked out the small window and saw a couple walking by holding hands with their toddler.

Dean thought that once upon a time that could have been him and Cas but he shut that thought off quickly. He didn’t want to think about what could’ve been.

He stared up at the ceiling and did his best to hold his tears at bay. He, however, failed miserably. And when Sam came back into the room, noticed him crying, didn’t say anything about it and instead just sat in the armchair next to him, he was eternally grateful.

* * *

_July 2016_

Over the few months after he began his treatment and more people became aware of his illness, Dean had gotten some visitors. Besides Sam and Bobby, Jo came every week, usually on Sundays though sometimes she liked to come on Fridays. Once, Dean teased her that she had nothing better to do than hang out with a sick guy on Friday but then Jo burst out in tears and Dean stopped saying shit like that.

Also, Sam’s friend, Gabe and Dean’s old swim team captain, Victor came to see him. When he arrived with Michael, Dean was surprised. Not because he was surprised that Victor was with a man but because he truly didn’t think that they would last. He remembered that Victor had been quite a player back when he was in high school and he and Mike had had an on-off-on again thing for quite some time. He guessed they had finally grown up and managed to work their shit out.

Anyway, a lot of people came to see him during those months. Even Becky came to see him. He was grateful to everyone who had come to see him and shown him their support. Though Becky wanting to sing and do some weird spiritual song/dance had freaked him out a bit, he still appreciated her coming to see him. 

Also, Ash and Alfie came to visit him. They came with a bag of goodies for Dean. Dean was grateful for that bag but also wondered how they had managed to get it past the security guard and all the doctors on his floor.

He, however didn’t comment on that because he had also seen that Ash and Alfie were holding hands and that was way more interesting than trying to figure out how they had smuggled in the bag of goodies. 

“Well that’s new,” Dean said and pointed at their linked hands as he rummaged through the bag of the goodies. He noticed the comic books in the bag and took them out of the bag. He smiled but then recalled _that_ night with Cas and then frowned, putting the comic books back in the bag. He didn’t need a reminder of the shit he had done to Cas. God, he missed that assbutt so much.

But Alfie and Ash were here and he told himself he wouldn’t get upset in front of them. So, he pushed the bag aside, pointed to the linked hands and said, “So spill. How did that happen?”

For the next thirty minutes, he watched his two best friends argue over how they had gotten together, neither one of them agreeing on the details and laughed along with them as they tried to come up with a coherent story.

After Ash and Alfie were done telling their story, they stayed with Dean for another hour, playing cards and talking about different things. They talked about how college was so close yet so far away. Ash was going to MIT and Alfie was going to BU so even though they’d be at different colleges, they’d still be pretty close to one another. Dean was happy for them but at the same time, he was kind of jealous that all of his friends were going on to the next stage of their lives when he was stuck in this godforsaken hospital bed. 

* * *

A week after Ash and Alfie had visited, Ruby came by to visit him too.  

She came to tell him that she had gotten into FIT in New York and was leaving soon. She said that he hoped he would get better and if he ever needed anything, she definitely wouldn’t be there. But then she winked.

And before she left, Dean uttered, “Cruella,” to which she responded, “Wilma.” Then she smiled and before he knew it, she was gone.

Dean laughed at that reference. Ruby always knew what to say.

It was odd. They had never been close friends like he had been with Jo, or with Ash or Alfie but in a strange way, he’d miss her.

Then he remembered that Meg had moved to New York a few years back and he wondered if Ruby would run into Meg there. He laughed as he imagined their conversation. Those two would make quite the pair.

* * *

_End of August 2016_

Two months had gone by since his treatment had begun and Dean was getting better. He felt like shit of course, because of the chemo. But at the same time, he felt like he would actually get better. Like he had a chance of beating this.

Also, his doctor had told him about the new drug that had just been created. It was called Nyxveneter* and it was supposed to stop the cancer from growing and eventually eradicate all of the cancer cells. It was still in the experimental stage but because Dean qualified to receive it as a treatment, his doctor had recommended it to him and asked him if he wanted to try it out.

She told him that there would still be a forty percent chance of him getting the cancer back later on in his life even if he beat it now. But Dean thought that a sixty percent chance of never getting the cancer again was good so he agreed to try out the pill. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> *This is not a real drug.  
> Please review.  
> Thank you,


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